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Five Observations About Life in the DormWhen my children went off to college, I had the parental role of assisting them with their respective moves into the freshman dorms on campus. Two colleges, two experiences. But since both children were healthy and able-bodied young men, the heavy lifting was kept to a minimum, allowing me to mostly observe rather than schlep. Observation #1 – Freshman dorms have not changed very much in 50 years. Anxiety fills the faces of all the freshmen; parental expressions range from relief (children are now out of the house!) to ambivalence (children are now out of the house?) to concern (who will be watching the children who are now out of the house?). The kids can’t wait for their parents to leave. Observation #2 – As with many things in life, size doesn’t matter. Dorm rooms are small and getting smaller, or perhaps they remain the same size but more people fill them, I’m not sure. But surely there is more electronic gear that comes with each youngster than I had to cope with way back when. To the best of my knowledge, all dorm rooms come with beds; most but not all have closets (to my shock and dismay, GW once eliminated closets during the value engineering stage of constructing a new dorm!); and a healthy proportion of rooms have desks, but since many colleges seem to believe students study more easily propped up in bed with a pillow than by sitting in a desk chair, several places have eliminated them. All dorm rooms lack adequate outlets and shelves — places to plug in and store audio speakers, chargers for phones, iPods, cameras, laptops, printers, hair dryers, microwaves, under-counter refrigerators and lamps. I stress lamps because one of my sons had a room at Yale that had no lights — no overhead light, not even a bare bulb, no wall sconces, nada — if you didn’t bring the fixture and bulb, you went to sleep at dusk. Or get a Coleman lamp. Yes, yes, all Yale freshmen are illuminating, but not always bright enough to read by. Observation #3 – The relationships made freshman year last a lifetime and there is no better place to get to know your fellow classmates than the dormitories. It may not be love at first sight upon meeting your roommate but most likely you’ll fall for someone near by, someone who will become a soul mate that will stand by you for decades to come. I don’t necessarily mean a life partner. I mean a best friend, a person who has read what you have read, understands your intellectual roots, your personal foibles; the one that watches the changes within you, semester by semester, from convocation to commencement. The one who drinks with you, eats with you, dates with you, travels with you, comes to be one with you. Even if he is a Republican! Doesn’t matter, for all that is important is friendship. Observation #4 – Communal living is a growth experience. Being responsible for the laundry, your meals, the mess in your room — not to mention your course work and overall time management — are all part of the transition that comes with going off to a residential college. In the dorm, you pick up pointers: how to separate dark from light socks, roll a funny cigarette, and change a printer cartridge. No matter how much cyberspace socialization takes places — through Ning or facebook or whatever — as John Dewey taught us, learning from doing adds value. Observation #5 – Loyalty to one’s college or university, the associated feelings — good, bad, or indifferent — and future philanthropy are usually tied to the smallest subgroup you align with: the sports team, fraternity or sorority, club, major, or dorm. It is so much easier to put one’s arms around a tangible — ZBT or intra-mural rugby — than it is to believe that the university treated you well or poorly. Posted at 08:50:39 PM on April 9, 2008 | All postings by Stephen Joel TrachtenbergCommenting is closed for this article.
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