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September 18, 2007
Gay-Wedding Bells Ring for Hampshire College's President, in a Matrimonial First
American higher education has had its first same-sex marriage by a college president, at least as far as we know.
Ralph J. Hexter, president of Hampshire College, married his longtime domestic partner, Manfred Kollmeier, over the Labor Day weekend. They announced their marriage today with a Champagne toast during Hampshire’s annual faculty and staff garden party, which is held at the president’s residence. Students at Hampshire, in Amherst, Mass., will join in the celebration tomorrow at a campus reception.
Ralph J. Hexter (left), president of Hampshire College, married his longtime domestic partner, Manfred Kollmeier, this month. They celebrated the event today at the president’s residence. (Photo courtesy Hampshire College)
The wedding announcement was a surprise for many at Hampshire. Mr. Hexter and Mr. Kollmeier arrived at the college in 2005. But despite living in the only state that recognizes same-sex marriages, they took their time in tying the knot, Mr. Hexter said, in part because their 27-year relationship had been defined with marriage off the table.
Both chambers of the Massachusetts legislature turned back a proposed constitutional amendment in June that would have banned same-sex unions, which became legal in 2004. Mr. Hexter, one of only 11 openly gay college presidents, said that development helped spur his decision to wed.
“It’s here to stay,” Mr. Hexter said of gay unions in Massachusetts. “This is a really special state. We wanted to stand up and be part of it.”
Mr. Kollmeier, who is retired, repairs and restores violins and cellos, and is on the governing board of the Commonwealth Opera of Western Massachusetts. He lives in the president’s residence with Mr. Hexter and serves at college events, such as board meetings.
“I absolutely could not do this job without him,” Mr. Hexter said. —Paul Fain
Posted on Tuesday September 18, 2007 | Permalink |Comments
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Congratulations, Ralph and Manfred!
— Deb Sep 18, 07:00 PM #
Congratulations to both gentlemen! Their union is truly an inspiration and a positive lesson, not just for students, but for all.
— Tim Massie Sep 18, 07:05 PM #
Marriage typifies the beauty of diversity existing in a complimentary unity. This union lacks that diversity due to an overemphasis on homogeneity.
— Roderick Sep 19, 02:01 AM #
Congratulations Ralph and Manfred
Together as long as you are, through thick and thin, wow. That is something to which every man should aspire.
Enjoy the open recognition of your life together
— Ilise Feitshans Sep 19, 05:31 AM #
Congratulations on this historic event. And thank you, Chronicle, for writing such a nice story.
— Mark Wojcik Sep 19, 05:34 AM #
Big congratulations to you both and thank you for the wonderful work you do!
— Chris Taylor Sep 19, 06:59 AM #
Congratulations! You give all of us hope!
— JTH Sep 19, 07:03 AM #
The world really IS coming to an end!
— button Sep 19, 07:56 AM #
Hooray Ralph and Manfred!
— David Sep 19, 08:39 AM #
May this one day be an unreportable, common event!
— What a great day! Sep 19, 09:20 AM #
Everyone congratulates a college president and his partner on being wed, but not I. Whatever the laws of state, there is still a place in America for marriage meaning the union of a man and a woman and hopefully higher education would have taken that lead.
— Sylvan A. Lashley Sep 19, 10:10 AM #
This is an insult to God.
— Douglas thomas Sep 19, 10:12 AM #
Congratulations! While your marriage is a wonderful personal event in your lives, it brings hope and inspiriation to those of us working in higher education as faculty and staff in less mindful states and institutions that perhaps one day, we can join you in celebration of our oun marriage! Thank you Massachusetts!
— Mark Sep 19, 10:28 AM #
CONGRATULATIONS! 27 years…what an inspiration!
— Bea Sep 19, 10:33 AM #
Congratulations- as a gay University administrator, I am very happy for and proud of you and your partner.
— Chuck Rhodes Sep 19, 10:44 AM #
‘Insult to God?’ Civil marriage is a civil right that bestows numerous legal protections, and thank goodness the Commonwealth understands that fact. Congratulations, gentlemen!
— Carol Sep 19, 10:45 AM #
Marriage is a fitting recognition of so many years of sharing life together. It is a delight to read about your commitment to each other. Congratulations!
— Yvonne Sep 19, 11:46 AM #
Congratulations — many continued years of love and happiness.
— Judy Alston Sep 19, 11:48 AM #
Congratulations, gentlemen – and best wishes.
— Rich Sep 19, 11:52 AM #
Congratulations and best wishes for much happiness!
— Sue Tolleson-Rinehart Sep 19, 12:21 PM #
As a former Hampster, I find this wonderfully encouraging news. When I attended Camp Hamp (1987-1990) most gay students on campus were, even then, STILL closeted — at, arguably, the most rad-lib college on the East Coast! Students at this enlightened seat of learning, when referring to pretention in the creative fields, casually used the term “art-fag,” often in front of me. I’m not saying the place was homophobic, necessarily, just that even at so late a date it was still not a comfortable place to be completely out of the closet (except for the predictable, chic, “bi-for-the-semester” types. who soon went back to dating the opposite sex.) But then, a lot of hypocrites went to the school while I was there. In any case, congrats to the gentlemen and to Hampshire itself. Nice to see my alma mater move into the 20th — er, 21st — century at last.
— Scott Ross Sep 19, 12:32 PM #
What a delightful bit of news! Someday, I hope to legally marry my partner of 14 years as well.
— Jo Meyertons, EdD Sep 19, 12:41 PM #
What joyous tidings! May this act inspire many others.
— Peter Sep 19, 12:43 PM #
For recent legal developments in New York State concerning same-gender unions, go to:
http://publicpersonnellaw.blogspot.com/2007/09/nysers-retirement-benefits-available-to.html
— Randall Sep 19, 12:45 PM #
This gives hope to all of us who are partners of academic administrators that it is possible to continue to move up the ladder and be openly out.
— Ella Sep 19, 02:03 PM #
Maybe God deserves to be insulted.
— Barbara Sep 19, 03:47 PM #
I knew Ralph when we were freshmen at Harvard, back when Newton was discovering gravity! (He’s the first person I ever heard use the word “extant.”) Very gratifying to see that he’s got such a successful and balanced life. Now, if only my own kids can get there. . .
— cforeman Sep 19, 09:06 PM #
My congratulations to you both. And a word: God has called us to love and commitment to love. God is not insulted.
— Lela Sep 20, 01:20 AM #
All the best to you both on this special occasion!
— Tanya Sep 21, 07:57 PM #
We’re all children of God… even us gay college administrators, despite what a few commentators on this article might think. (Thankfully only a few) God, like all good parents, want their children to be happy and have a stable and supportive home life. It sounds like the “First Couple” of Hampshire College has that with each other and this should be celebrated! Choosing your partner in life is one of the most important decisions a person can make and the fact that our government and many legislators doesn’t see excluding same sex couples from legal protection as civil and human right infringement is more than disconcerting. Congrats to Ralph and Manfred and thanks for blazing the trail!
— Gay Christian Sep 24, 01:24 PM #
Our daughter is currently a student at Hampshire College and I have to say this announcement not only pleased us greatly, but increased our admiration of a school whose administrators and staff so obviously practice what they teach.
Congratulations to you both, gentlemen; we wish you continuing joy and happiness in your relationship.
— Scott and Reba Sep 26, 04:52 PM #
Congrats on both your wedding, and lasting 27 years together. Here’s hoping you guys last at least another 27. ;)
— Jennifer Sep 27, 07:23 PM #
Splendid news! Best wishes to all.
— Peg Duthie Sep 27, 08:46 PM #
Congrats from Canada! From an openly gay university janitor. :0)
— Mark Stanley Sep 28, 10:18 AM #