 |
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
"Some college administrators seem so distracted with fund raising, academic infighting, and community initiatives that they set up their emergency communications departments very poorly. Training is poor to nonexistent, secretaries are pressed into service with tremendous responsibilities for running 'notification systems' 24/7 and on weekends because no one else knows how to do it and the administration won’t pay for additional staff. Procedures are seat-of-the-pants and dependent on HIPPO (highest paid person’s opinion), except when something like Virginia Tech happens and there is some sort of scramble to do something different." --Donna
Most Colleges Avoid Risk Management, Report Says
More Than 1,100 Colleges Join Yellow Ribbon Program for Military Veterans
A total of 1,165 colleges have signed up for a federal effort to help military veterans attend college.
Record-Setting Jury Verdict Could Mean (More) Profits for NYU
New York University’s 2007 patent-royalty sale anticipated the potential for further payments.
Jill Biden Shines a Global Spotlight on American Community Colleges
Speaking at a Unesco conference in Paris, the vice president’s wife stressed the importance of two-year institutions to the nation’s educational goals.
Connecticut Public Colleges Lose 200 Professors to Early Retirement
Administrators are scrambling to plug holes in their course schedules for fall, with most expecting to do so by hiring more adjuncts or increasing class sizes.
U. of Georgia Paid 2 Fraternities $2.4-Million to Relocate, Contracts Show
The two were among five with houses on property where the university plans to build new academic facilities.
College Suspends Student for Working in Gay Pornography | 58
President Obama's Visit to Notre Dame Carries Barely a Hint of Controversy That Preceded It | 58
Drug Sting Nabs 21 Students at U. of Illinois | 57
Faculty Members and Union Protest Staff Layoffs at Temple U. as 'Cruel' | 57
North Dakota Board's Vote Puts 'Fighting Sioux' Mascot on Thinner Ice | 57
Athletics
Community Colleges
Government & Politics
Information Technology
International
Money & Management
Northern Illinois
Research & Books
Short Subjects
Students
The Faculty
Prior days' news: By date | Search
This week's print issue
Back issues: By date | Search
July 31, 2007
From Worst to First: Literary Award Marks the Pits of Prose
The winner of this year’s Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which recognizes the best worst opening sentence of an imagined novel, took the prize on the strength of an endless appositive, rambling pedantry, impending doom, and, in the end, toilet humor.
The victor in the contest, which this year marked its 25th year, was announced on Monday by San Jose State University’s department of English and comparative literature. The department also announced such a host of runners-up, winners in obscure subcategories, and “dishonorable mentions” that it seems unlikely that any entrant was denied at least some form of recognition.
Pride of place, however, was accorded to Jim Gleeson, 47, a “media technician” in Madison, Wis., who wrote: “Gerald began — but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them ‘permanently’ meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash — to pee.”
The contest honors the memory of the 19th-century writer Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel Paul Clifford began, “It was a dark and stormy night.” —Andrew Mytelka
Posted on Tuesday July 31, 2007 | Permalink |
Previous: Business-School Applicants Must Submit PowerPoint-Like Slides to U. of Chicago
Next: Turkish Scholar Sues to Overturn Law on 'Denigrating Turkishness'