Ms. Mentor

The Job Search Makes Me Very Mad

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Question: I'm finishing my dissertation and had a few unsuccessful on-campus interviews. Then one of my committee members ("Professor Jeff") hinted strongly that there might soon be a tenure-track opening in our own department, and I would be well suited to fill it. I was overjoyed.

The following week, though, he said that there was no such job, and that I should apply instead to Proprietary Unaccredited Part-time Night School! I complained to my adviser about Professor Jeff and asked that he be ejected from my committee. There was a huge fight, and Professor Jeff refuses to apologize. I have a feeling that Ms. Mentor would say I shouldn't have complained about his boorishness. But after he toyed with my hopes and then not only dashed them but threw them on the floor, stomped on them, and then used them to clean his cat box, it was impossible not to react. Do I have to get recommendation letters from him?

Answer: Well, you do have a flair for the dramatic. Your cat-box image did make Ms. Mentor laugh a bit -- and then wonder -- and then worry about what you've done to poor Professor Jeff.

On first reading, Ms. Mentor imagined him as the incarnation of evil: black-caped, stirruped, cackling satanically while he lied to innocent graduate students about their tenure-track possibilities. And then Professor Jeff would tie those hapless students to the railroad tracks, where no one would hear their screams as the train of unemployment began its terrible chug-chugging . . .

All right, Ms. Mentor can become overwrought, too. But she urges you to step back, breathe deeply, and try to rise above the anxiety and fear that can distort the perceptions of very bright people when they're desperately seeking work.

The job market, especially for those in the humanities, is undeniably desperate. Fewer than half of Ph.D.'s will ever get the tenure-track jobs for which they've been trained. (Ms. Mentor strongly recommends Susan Basalla and Maggie Debelius's So What Are You Going to Do With That? Finding Careers Outside Academia (University of Chicago Press, 2007). Much depends on luck, and a lot on the favor of the gods -- i.e., your professors. And you don't seem to have handled that part well.

On rereading, Ms. Mentor sees Professor Jeff as a slightly bumbling fellow who admired your accomplishments and tried to cheer you up ("We may have a job in our department."). But a week later, he took a realistic look, or maybe got a shot of realism from his department chair or dean ("We don't have money to hire anyone," or "We've decided to hire in a different field."). He may have discovered that there's a university policy against hiring the university's own graduates ("inbreeding"). He may have thought that Proprietary School would at least help you pay off some bills and get more teaching experience.

Maybe he was trying to be informative, not boorish.

And then you erupted, spewing lava all over unsuspecting Professor Jeff and everyone else in the vicinity while shouting at him: "Apologize! Apologize!"

And yes, Ms. Mentor would say you shouldn't have complained, at least until you figured out whether he was malicious or misinformed. You could, for instance, have checked your university's faculty handbook (many are online) to see if there is an anti-inbreeding policy. You could have asked your adviser about whether the department is planning to hire in your field. You could have done your homework.

Do you need Professor Jeff's recommendation? No, if you can substitute someone with equal expertise and prestige whose knowledge and contacts will help you. Maybe there's someone who hasn't heard about the dust-up and is willing to join your committee. Taking a bland, calm professional approach, and with the help of your adviser, you could add a new person: "The dissertation's going in a somewhat different direction, so I need someone with a slightly different take on the subject." Be vague; use adverbs as softeners ("slightly," "somewhat"). Enigmatic is not bad.

Still, there will be professors who shrink from dramatic encounters. Your adviser may have to dragoon someone to replace Professor Jeff. And while you can take his name off your references, and replace his letter in your dossier, you can't control whether he gets background calls or inquiries about you. If asked, he may be vague ("differences of opinion") or he may be vociferous ("a crazy person"). You can't control his behavior.

The only behavior you control is your own.

Ms. Mentor thinks you should try to mend fences with Professor Jeff. Revenge can seem righteous at the time, when you think someone has stomped on your heart and your hopes, but Professor Jeff doesn't seem to have done that. You've stomped on him instead. Ms. Mentor thinks you should apologize: It's good practice in being "collegial." Get your adviser to be a mediator/soother, the one who persuades Professor Jeff to come out of hiding. You may have been misled, but will that be a comfort if you find yourself with no job except a low-paying adjunct position at Proprietary School?

Ms. Mentor also suggests that you work on de-stressing. Dissertating and job hunting can play havoc with reasonable minds so that the movie of your life may seem to be played on a black screen with ominous music and demons cavorting. Yoga, swimming, or even a 10-minute walk around the house can clear your mind. Consider pharmaceuticals and counseling; listen to music. If you're dieting, stop: Starvation makes you cranky. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables. If you have friends who mock your graduate work or nag you about jobs and finishing, politely cut them out of your life ("I'll call you when I'm done" -- around 2011 or so).

And if you don't have a cat, get one. Petting a cat can lower your blood pressure, and you may also get a more positive outlook on cat litter. Fresh Step may be just what you need.

Question: I have a colleague who embarrasses us all with self-promoting comments after job candidates' talks ("As I have repeatedly demonstrated in my work . . ."). He does it even if the candidate's not in his field. What can we do about this peacocking?

Answer: Laugh?

Sage Readers: Ms. Mentor's correspondents continue to be tormented by academic anxiety dreams. A 78-year-old long-retired professor still dreams that his tenure at an elite university will be yanked. Others fear that their degrees will somehow get lost and that they'll be hurled back for one more eighth-grade gym class. There are nightmares about being kidnapped by undereducated UFO aliens, and one dentist is sure he missed a required history class, his patients will find out he's a fraud, and his life will be ruined.

Ms. Mentor continues to welcome dreams, queries, rants, and summer reading suggestions. Her flock once chose Richard Russo's Straight Man as their favorite academic novel, with David Lodge and Kingsley Amis as runner-up authors. Are there new contenders?

All letters to Ms. Mentor are confidential, and identifying details are discreetly disguised. She rarely answers letters personally but directs eager readers to The Chronicle's forums, as well as to her archive and her tome, Ms. Mentor's Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia. Her next collection, Ms. Mentor's New and Ever More Impeccable Advice for Women and Men in Academia, will appear in the fall.