First Person

Unsensational Revelations From the First Year

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By Esther Davis

I have made it through Year 1 -- and relatively unscathed.

After five years of visiting positions, I miraculously scored a tenure-track position at a small, liberal arts college in the South last spring and have both lived to tell of my first year and been invited to stay for another (essentially a formality, I realize, but a relief nonetheless).

Now that the lazy, hazy days of summer are upon us, I have had a chance to reflect on some of the not-very-surprising things I have learned so far. My first reflection is that having a job is good and far better than the alternative.

"Thanks for the wisdom of the ages, Esther," you are probably thinking. My point, before you get all sarcastic and bitter on me, is that I hope you can remain optimistic and take in stride all of the soul-crushing experiences involved in applying and interviewing for jobs.

If a five-time loser such as yours truly can find a position that still feels like a dream job even after a year, there's hope for pretty much anyone reading this. Know that it's worth it.

When you're going through difficult times -- say you forgot to pack your suit pants and have to spend the interview day in a midnight-run-to-Wal-Mart pair of leisure slacks -- think of the challenges as either something that will make you stronger or can serve as fodder for your jaded tales of life on the job market. The fantasy that kept me going: I would use my humiliations as source material for a thinly veiled, biting comic novel about the follies of academe and those who run the show.

Another important lesson I am taking away from this first year is that some of what you are told during an interview is not true.

Again, not a shocking revelation. But it's important to bear in mind -- no matter how genuine everyone seems during the interview process and as you settle in -- that you can't possibly be seeing the full picture.

As a newcomer, it's impossible to fully understand the nuances of 25-year-old turf battles, perceived snubs, and professional rivalries. Even if you go in, as I did, fully aware that the politics are both petty and rampant at most academic institutions no matter how lovey-dovey everyone seems during your interview, your understanding after a year is still only at the tip-of-the-iceberg level.

And just when you think you have finally figured out who is a "good guy" and who is not, a new piece of the puzzle is revealed.

What I have tried to do is sit back, observe, and withhold judgment. Or if withholding judgment is as out of character for you as it is for me, try to maintain a Kabuki-like facade of grace and detachment. It helps to view faculty meetings as you would bad reality television -- with less alcohol and fewer fake breasts. Just take it all in.

Despite how great it feels to finally be on the tenure track, I am experiencing a downside that I didn't anticipate. The downside I have had to get used to is just that: getting used to things.

When I was a visiting instructor, if a colleague was rude to me -- and, shockingly, that happened more than once at more than one institution -- I could shrug it off and know I would be out of there in a matter of months. If the students were disrespectful, lazy, or less than ideal in myriad other ways? Big deal. I would be gone before you could say, "Leave your summer address with HR."

But now that I am riding the train down the tenure track, I am hanging onto this job for dear life.

Colleagues a little unfriendly? Better find a way to warm them up. (I recommend homemade baked goods.) Lacking support from the department head? Find another senior colleague to back up your efforts. Students spending entire classes instant messaging their friends? Create a policy on the syllabus the following semester banning laptops in your classroom.

Someone applying pressure on you to join an alliance/cabal? Well, to be honest, I don't have years of experience about that one since no one bothers getting too attached to a hired gun.

What I'm learning, though, is to avoid committing to a side as long as possible, to be friendly to everyone, and to hope that the conspiratorial gazes shift to some other piece of fresh meat.

While it's a strain, albeit a relatively minor one, to recognize that the travails that we face on the tenure track are not really going away, at least when it comes to the more important aspects of what we do, there is absolutely something to be said for having time to nurture one's craft in situ.

I have taught at enough places to see that even though there are lots of universal truths about college students, each campus has a unique culture. It takes time to understand or infiltrate that culture.

No matter how much classroom experience you have, it's hard to know how your particular teaching style, testing approach, or one of the hundreds of things you bring to the table in a classroom will interact with your students' expectations and interests.

As a visiting instructor, you can do your best to be engaging and stimulating, but if you don't hit the target the first semester out, you have only one more semester to "get it right" before moving on and starting again on a new campus, where the previous feedback you received and the adjustments you made may not be very helpful.

Now that I'm here, of course, the pressure is much greater for me to "get it right" since my future depends on it (dramatic but true). But I can be a bit more relaxed about it now. Not relaxed in a devil-may-care kind of way, but in the sense that I have more time to experiment in the classroom, explore new avenues for my research agenda, and so on.

Instead of just closing my eyes and taking aim, I can be much more deliberate in my approach. And that, not surprisingly, is also a good thing.