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First PersonSurviving a Professional Slide
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My young sons love to play Chutes and Ladders, a simple game in which you flick a spinner and advance your player up a 100-square board. Land on spaces representing a good deed, and you get to climb a ladder, advancing rapidly toward the finish line. But spin badly and you land on a square with a picture showing what you've done wrong (perhaps broken a fragile vase or fallen off your bike because you were riding without holding on), and a chute sends you sliding down -- sometimes a row or two; other times, all the way back near where you began. Although I usually groan when the kids drag out the game, I have decided that Chutes and Ladders is an apt metaphor for career advancement in academe. While good deeds are often rewarded, promotion sometimes seems to depend on a lucky whirl of the plastic arrow. Setbacks come without warning, and there's often nothing to do but spin again. About two years ago, I had been climbing along nicely in my career -- moving from a Ph.D. in the humanities to a good administrative position in a top university -- and it looked as if a promotion I had hoped for would soon be mine. In an unguarded moment, however, I stepped (metaphorically) somewhere I shouldn't have and slipped down a chute. Picking myself up at the bottom, I was told that I was "not ready" for the promotion, which went to someone else. Undoubtedly I had made a decision or two that played a role in my fall, but the capricious hand of fate also intervened. The story is too complicated to narrate fully here, but the upshot was that I realized that if I wanted to advance professionally, I was going to need to start climbing back up -- somewhere else. It was hard, though. When the promotion was denied, I wanted only to fling down my keys and give my 30 days' notice. But with the financial obligations of midlife, I couldn't quit. I had to make my peace with the situation, at least long enough to find another job. About a year ago, I ascended a ladder to a new (and much better) administrative position at a different university. I haven't yet won the game, but things are going very well. How did I get from there to here? Looking back, I can see several crucial steps to recovering from a professional setback. Strong Bodies, Strong Minds It's fitness guru Denise Austin's overly chirpy truism, but it works: physical therapy, massage, a regular exercise routine, enough sleep. Whatever the means, physical strength is important to survival. My regular workouts allowed me to imagine that I could lift more, run harder, and swim farther than the people I was working for. The workouts eased my stress-induced back problems and gave me a feeling of power at a time when I felt small and powerless. And an hour spent exercising in the morning took the edge off my anger. Do the Work Although my heart was no longer in it, I forced myself to keep turning out my work at my old university -- to keep doing at least a "good enough" job so that I (and anyone else who was watching) would know I wasn't shirking. Quality work was a defense against any implication that I had been denied the promotion because of incompetence. Knowing I was capable was a source of mental strength, and the work itself continued to be intellectually stimulating and enjoyable. Mentally Divest Despite my whole stiff-upper-lip routine, going to the office was painful, and I had trouble believing that my career would ever amount to anything again. The identity and sense of self-worth I had drawn from that job were gone. My husband reminded me, however, during many an agonizing conversation in those days, of all the other good things in my life: We were all healthy and active. We had a great family life. The book I had worked many years to finish was almost done. And our home was a beautiful refuge. So while I continued to perform my duties, I increasingly shifted my intellectual and emotional energy off-site. The psychic distance imparted serenity and lowered my vulnerability to being upset any more. Driving to work, I reveled in singing with Jo Dee Messina, "My give-a-damn's busted!" Treasure Your Friends When things first turned sour, I would snarl, "That whole place is sick." But over time, I realized that although I worked for some difficult people, I still had many supporters and friends across the university. I confided in some of them and worked in as many lunches and coffees as I could to nurture old and new friendships. My friends made me feel less isolated and alone, while giving me practical and moral support for my continuing job search. Remember Helpful Clichés Two particularly helpful ones to keep in mind: "Don't burn your bridges" and "Take the high road." Hard as it was, I avoided lashing out at my superiors and tried to remain outwardly calm and professional. My slide down the chute had left me wiser, certainly, and maybe a bit quieter and more careful, but I tried not to be surly, whiny, or uncooperative. Among other benefits, that tactic allowed me to retain my self-respect and regain the support of some important superiors. When the time came to ask for references in job applications, I got crucial help from a supervisor whose trust I had cultivated over the year. Stop Raging at a Corrupt System My Ph.D. in the humanities taught me how to analyze power structures, and it was partly that tendency that got me into difficulty in the first place. Speaking truth to power definitely has its downside. My experience reminded me that despite often lofty rhetoric, universities are as likely as any other employer to harbor rigid hierarchies, elitism, pettiness, jealousy, unfairness, and gross abuses of power. While I still believe that academic power structures should be interrogated, challenged, and changed (after all, shouldn't universities somehow manage all of this better than the rest of the world?), I decided during that year to let much of that go. I just didn't have the mental energy. Take Advantage of the Benefits of the University Environment Awkward as my situation was, I continued to benefit from access to a top-flight library (which supported my ongoing research projects); relative freedom of movement and flexibility in my schedule; continuing participation in engaging scholarly events; an easy connectedness to people in other departments, institutes, and centers; and a comfortable private office. As the months passed, my fury subsided, the workplace camaraderie lifted my spirits, and the work itself held my interest and proceeded smoothly. Take Action It might have been easy just to remain in what was, in many respects, a fairly good gig, yet somewhere inside, I knew that was unhealthy. So I gave myself a year to get out. I submitted applications to two graduate programs I had long considered, and applied for five or six genuinely appealing jobs. When I was admitted to both programs and invited to several job interviews, my self-confidence rebounded. Taking those steps allowed me to regain a sense of control. After all, part of the message of Chutes and Ladders is that good decisions will be rewarded. The game board at least implies that the player has some agency, and I tried to seize it. Honor the Roles of Serendipity and Luck Winning the game ultimately comes down to the luck of the spinner. And, as in life, a shocking number of important things happen by accident. I spotted the ad for my new job in the classified section of a campus newspaper that, on most days, I never read at all. I picked it up only because I had 15 minutes to kill in the campus library between appointments, and I am still not sure why I read the classifieds. All I know is that the deliberate steps I had taken prepared me to respond quickly and effectively when my luck turned. I wrote the cover letter easily and breezed through the interviews. I could articulate (honestly) what I was looking for and why I was right for the job; I felt calm and resolved but no longer desperate. By that time, climbing the ladder seemed easy, and resting here, nearer the top, feels good. |
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