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Academe or Government?

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By Ellen Fitzsimmons

Naïve tunnel vision. That's what I had before I jumped into a postdoc at a federal research facility.

I remember the moment in graduate school when I first learned that, in the hierarchy of scientific research, government researchers were the stooges at the bottom.

It was during my second big scientific meeting at a session covering the application of knowledge to risk assessment. The academics were philosophical and eloquent. The industry scientists were slick and had fancy graphics. The lone government scientist was rumpled, needed a haircut, and gave what can best be described as a "defensive" presentation.

And thus the hierarchy unfolded -- academe, industry, government. During the Q&A period, the government scientist actually whined. Internally, I rolled my eyes and checked "overworked, wrinkly, beaten government scientist" off my list of career possibilities.

So how did I end up in a government research lab?

I will admit that I'm a bit rumpled and overworked, but the biggest reason was that I wanted a change of scenery. Before coming to this facility, I had never done research outside of academe. I figured I had to walk a mile in a government scientist's shoes before I decided that they were too unstylish for me to wear.

Additionally, I wanted to see my research applied to an immediate problem. A government lab is a great place to do applied research. Believe it or not, we actually have to make the connection between our research and the goals of the facility. Try doing that at a university.

Since I've been at my postdoc, I have seen a few wrinkled suits and some suits with sandals, but, for the most part, I have been thoroughly impressed with the quality of science coming out of the facility. Our research is of sufficiently high quality to warrant publication in top research journals, and many of our scientists are household names, at least in dorky, sciencey households.

So much for my perception that only academic scientists can be highfalutin and eloquent.

Sure, the creativity of government scientists is sometimes stifled by a lack of money available for anything but research that serves the facility's mission. And yes, a few of my colleagues have been beaten down by "the man" and expect their research to do more for the paper trail than for policy guidance.

Regardless, I love my research project here, and I find myself breathing a sigh of thanks every time I enter the building. My tunnel vision has almost disappeared.

Or has it? When I dream about my future career, I still dream about cavernous libraries, discussions about the undergraduate curriculum, and watching students learn how to use pipettes. I don't know if the picture of myself as a government researcher, waving the facility flag and gulping back my frustration over buried data, fits my dreams.

For all I know, my leap from the ivory tower into the lower echelons of government research may imperil my climb back to the tower. Have my romantic notions about professorial life overshadowed the reality?

For the past two years, the reality of my work life in the federal lab has been close to nirvana. My mentor and my colleagues are supportive and engaged. We have technical support, which is rare in an academic setting unless you're a grant-writing machine. We usually have enough money to get the job done, and I've never had to worry about running out of paper for the copier. As a research environment, this facility is top-notch.

But for me, there is something missing, and I think that something is a feeling. Those of you in a university lab know that feeling, that drive, that sense of doing science simply for the joy of discovery. I have had a taste of that in my postdoc, but the impetus to get things done seems driven more by the need to satisfy some higher-up than by the pleasure of uncovering the unknown.

I was a first-generation college student and the first in my immediate and extended family to receive a Ph.D. Now that I have the degree, I want to be free to chase down a burning question; and I mean chase it, not just answer it to the satisfaction of my lab director.

I want to write grants that are imaginative, creative, and fun. I want to be around students who are genuinely excited to be attending college and faculty members who want to teach. I want to be that professor conjured by my mind when I think of the word professorial.

Yeah, I know that seasoned academics are laughing at my infantile yearnings here, but part of me wants to live the academic dream, even if it means waking up to the nightmare of reality.

A friend of mine has a Ph.D. in history and could probably find countless cool jobs working for the government. But she is only interested in making her future in academe. When I asked her why, she said, "A university is the only place where I know I can do well."

I think she meant that academe is the only place where she can pursue a research direction that she sets herself. Sure, there are constraints in the academic world -- curricular requirements, progress reports for grants, departmental missions, etc., but in the government world (and I assume industry), someone else determines the plot, and the researchers just fill in the words.

So that's my conundrum as I begin my search for my first real job. Do I pursue a career at a government research facility or at a university? Should I even consider other options? Consulting? Industry? Teaching at a community college? Asking customers if they want fries with that soda?

Each alternative has it own set of advantages and constraints. I guess it comes down to deciding which package holds the greatest appeal (well, and which package wants me).

Part of me really wants to follow the government-research path. No grant pressure and few or no teaching obligations would allow me to focus on my research. I would have the freedom to apply a fairly broad set of research tools as long as those tools produced the requisite data required by the facility bigwigs.

But I wouldn't always be able to chase down those fun little questions that inevitably pop up in research. I think the real crux of the issue is control. The spoiled child in me says, "mine, mine, all mine" and the scared child says, "Ask Mommy." Do I want to control the direction of my research or do I want to give up that control to pursue what some would say is a greater good?