A Cure for the Summertime Blues

By Mark J. Drozdowski

I'd heard the hackneyed old joke a few million times, but nonetheless had to endure it once again at a year-end soiree for faculty and staff members.

"What are the three best things about being a professor?" a tipsy colleague asked.

"What?" I replied, pretending not to know the punch line.

"June, July, and August!" he concluded, expecting to reduce me to a giggling glob of goo.

"Ha, that's a good one!" I said, walking off in search of a more gratifying conversation, or at least another bacon-wrapped scallop.

But as I settled on a crab-stuffed button mushroom, I felt the familiar wave of melancholy I experience every year about now. It's summertime and the livin' is easy for many in academe, but life marches on as usual for fund raisers.

That is, we're still here every day, even though there isn't much to do. We try hard to look busy by rearranging our desks, flipping through unread stacks of magazines, and holding meetings to reflect on recent accomplishments, but the truth is not much gets done during the summer. Donors, for some odd reason, like to vacation this time of year, and they're not usually in the mood to transact business.

Want to conduct a campaign-feasibility study, write a grant proposal for an academic program, or form a search committee to fill that nagging vacancy? Better wait until after Labor Day.

Faculty members, on the other hand, have it made, and they know it. They may profess to love teaching and the challenge of research, but what they really cherish, I'm convinced, is freedom. They treasure it, celebrate it, harness it, defend it like William Wallace, minus the sword and steed.

I'm not referring to something as banal as academic freedom, a noble idea with a checkered past and an uncertain future. I'm talking about time off, autonomy, flexibility -- the liberty to come in late, leave early, or, heck, not show up at all. And summers are all about freedom.

We administrators, naturally, grind our teeth with envy. At least I do. Some administrators began their careers as faculty members, tasted freedom, and for some silly reason gave it up. Perhaps those misguided folks will realize their foolish mistake and attempt to reacquire it in the future. But for fund raisers, most of whom haven't experienced the good life, it's a distant dream.

Well, it shouldn't be. We, too, should enjoy this freedom. We should, at any rate, have the option. So I'm starting a petition to give fund raisers the summer off. I suppose other administrators, for whom that schedule makes sense, can join us. Simply print this column, sign at the bottom, and forward it to your president. Who's in the mood for a revolution? Let me hear ya!

Wait, you're thinking, what about the end-of-June fiscal-year flurry? That mad scramble to close gifts and reach goals, that final push to end our nine-month labor?

It's true that many colleges conclude their fiscal year on June 30, but some end in May and some even coincide with the calendar year. I prefer the latter because it doesn't confuse donors, who typically give in November and December anyway. Imagine operating on the same timeframe as donors and not asking for "year-end" gifts in April.

Yet for those institutions working on a July 1 fiscal year, pushing the start to January 1 may seem too disruptive. But why not June 1? Can't we end the fiscal year a month earlier to accommodate our revolution?

Maybe some traditionalists can't fathom the idea, and fund raisers working at such rigid institutions, or at public ones bound by law, will have to sacrifice a summer month for the greater glory. Or maybe they can rotate service with colleagues year to year. In any case, before you sign and submit our petition, be sure to highlight "June 1 fiscal year" in yellow.

Never mind that talk about administrative sabbaticals similar to the seven-year faculty itch. Give us the real thing. Give us hot fun in the summertime, and we'll work even harder knowing we have to compress our activities into a shorter cycle. We won't spend three months feeling guilty for collecting a paycheck as we while away the dog days and raise a relative pittance. And just think about the savings colleges would realize in salaries, supplies, and overhead. The amount saved on air conditioning alone could finance three scholarships.

In turn, we'll use the time off to pursue other interests, to perhaps do some volunteer work, or to lie on a beach and think about nothing except the best place to get fried dough. We'll spend time with family we've neglected while we were on the road every other week.

Sure, we'll make less money, but I bet many current fund raisers would choose freedom and would work at three-quarters salary. Let's face it -- we don't get into development for the money. Those for whom money is that much of an issue could choose the 12-month contract, at least for now, or find temporary work.

Would talented people flock in great numbers to fund raising -- and stay -- were they offered the option of summers off? Maybe. Would we suffer less burnout and turnover? Probably. Would the "he's a faculty member and she's a development officer" marriage be even more convenient? Certainly.

But as things stand, the three best things about being a fund raiser aren't June, July, and August, except for those who prize empty parking lots and short lines in the cafeteria. You can see it in our faces, read it in our body language. We line up at the gates after commencement, wave a fond farewell to students and faculty members, and shuffle back to our lives of confinement. It's not that we don't want you to leave; we just want to join you.

It's time for a change. It's time to turn off the AC, whip open the windows, and shout "We're not taking it anymore!" to anyone still around to hear us. We need to band together to cure our summertime blues.

So let's declare this July 1 "Fund Raisers' Freedom Day." Gather with your colleagues in the quad, form a circle, hold hands, and chant, "Nine's enough, nine's enough!" Invite the local press to cover your demonstration. People need to hear our message and support our cause.

And above all, don't forget to print, highlight, sign, and deliver. Become part of the solution and join the revolution.