Ms. Mentor

They're Just Not That Into You

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Question (from "Kelly"): I got my Ph.D. from Hometown U, taught elsewhere for two years, but had to return to the Hometown area for my husband and children. Whenever I apply for jobs advertised at Hometown U., I'm always rejected. One senior professor told me there are some people who hate me even after all these years. This year I informed the Hometown provost that I've been discriminated against, but I don't have the money to pursue a lawsuit. Should I complain to the new president at Hometown, or forget about working in academe?

Question (from "Lloyd"): I'm an A.B.D. grad student at Loony U., where our department faculty members are abusive and out of control, with tantrums, swollen egos, theft, and more. I've been through grievances, backroom deals, interventions by deans, and a private chat with a senior professor who says he doesn't understand why I don't hire a lawyer, since "we're waiting for a student to take care of the problem." What happens if a grad student sues his or her own department?

Question ("Millie"): I've been turned down three times for job advancement (I'm in student services). I recently completed my doctorate and now have another uncomfortable interview scheduled with the same panel that previously turned me down. If I do not get the job, is it time to move on?

Question ("Norbert"): My colleagues don't expect students to write papers or read the textbooks, and class attendance counts for 50 percent of the students' grades. That doesn't strike me as education, or even credentialing, but my department head (to whom I've complained several times) says I'm the one who's out of place. What should I do?

Question ("Olivia"): As an undergraduate, I tangled with Professor Mighty, who had been something of a mentor to me, about his interpretation of my work. That soured our relationship, but I went on for a Ph.D., got on the right meds, and now want the job in my field at Mid College, where Professor Mighty now teaches. Should I contact him to heal the rift, and explain that I'm fine now? Our quarrel happened six years ago.

Answer: The times seemed less turbulent six years ago, when Ms. Mentor began vouchsafing her perfect wisdom to eager readers, many of whom now have tenure. Back then, most did not make enemies during their most vulnerable years -- unlike today's correspondents. Ms. Mentor urges her audience to reread the questions and ponder: Who is on the right path? Who is racing in the wrong direction? And who is flailing wildly?

Olivia's case seems simplest. She may e-mail Professor Mighty to express appreciation for his work, and she should smile broadly if she sees him. If she gets an interview with his college, she should praise his contributions to her career. She should be sunny and upbeat, as if she's forgotten their contretemps -- which he probably has.

Kelly, though, still has living, seething enemies -- besides an obstacle she does not mention. If her university has a policy against "inbreeding" (hiring its own graduates), hers is a lost cause, and Kelly must give up her dream of teaching at Hometown U.

If she cannot win over her past foes, and if she persists in wanting to sue -- for what? -- Kelly may also have to give up her dream of an academic post anywhere. If a college simply chooses to interview others, that is the academic equivalent of "He's just not that into you." If they don't call, they don't want to hire you. You cannot clobber them with a lawsuit into hiring you, but you can make them hate you forever -- and incite them to say so to any future employer who asks about you. Word gets around.

Kelly's situation -- immovable family -- may mean she cannot have an academic career. But Ms. Mentor believes that there are many other pleasures in life besides being a professor. It is a far, far better thing to be contented than to be continually at war.

"They're just not that into you" also seems to apply to Millie. Unless the committee members have just been shuddering for years about her lack of a degree, it does seem that they do not want to promote her. Ms. Mentor reminds readers that there are always people in power who will not admit that they've been wrong. They must be "strong"; they cannot be "flip floppers." Millie should try to escape working with such silly, narrow people. So should we all, Ms. Mentor believes.

Norbert also needs to move on, because he can't fit into the laissez-faire culture of his department. Ms. Mentor agrees that what's promulgated at his college is not education, but he has no power to change it. If he stays and somehow manages to get tenure, then he can hit his head against the wall for some 30 years. Ms. Mentor thinks he'll be much better off teaching the way he wants to, at another college, or working outside academe.

Most academic villains are misguided -- but poor Lloyd's professors, Ms. Mentor believes, are moral maggots. Why should Lloyd be expected to bear the burdens of a lawsuit, for a mess than his professors won't clean up? Graduate students, contrary to some popular beliefs, are not put on earth to be slaves, toadies, or martyrs.

That said, Lloyd will seem to be a troublemaker if he sues. Ms. Mentor advises Lloyd to do what it takes to get out with decent recommendations, get a good job, bide time until tenure, and then write a scathing memoir.

That is one of the most soul-satisfying things that academics can do.

Question: Asked at a recent on-campus interview in the Northeast: "How d'ya like the Red Sox?" I was perfectly honest, and said I think sports are boring and infantile. I haven't heard back from the school. Did I err?

Answer: Well....

SAGE READERS: As always, Ms. Mentor enjoys hecklings and invites rants, queries, and gossip, especially on such subjects as feeding picky eaters (can vegans dine with Atkinses?) and deciding what grad students do not owe their dissertation directors.

Ms. Mentor rarely answers letters personally, will not be rushed, likes subject headings, directs readers to her tome (below) and her archive, and encourages the use of mysterious and entertaining screen names. Anonymity is guaranteed, and you may purport to be anyone you like.