First Person

The Case of the Missing Adviser

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By Gail Jacobson

My dissertation adviser has disappeared. I'm not the only one to have noticed this. Another of his graduate students, a friend of mine, has noticed it, too.

In fact, few of his graduate students have seen him recently. The department secretary hasn't seen him. And yet I know he is on the campus. Several clues have led me to that conclusion.

First, I've seen his car in the parking lot. Actually, a while ago, I saw the kind of car he used to have, and his new one has been pointed out to me. (Note to advisers: Always tell your students when you buy a new car. It makes stalking you much easier.)

His new car is frequently in the parking lot in front of his office building. It sits there, taunting me: "He's here. Go ahead, try to find him."

Second, the materials that I've placed in his office mailbox have been removed. In theory, of course, it's possible that someone else is removing the items and sending them to him somewhere in Bora-Bora, or maybe the Arctic (the fact that he is not responding via e-mail makes it unlikely that he is hiding out anywhere in the United States, Europe, or most of Asia).

But he's never had someone else check his box for him before. Why start now, especially when his car is in the parking lot?

Third, other graduate students -- just none of his own -- have seen him lurking in shadowy corners on the campus. He's also been spotted, quite recently, in the local grocery store.

It's possible that he allows himself to be seen only by students whose dissertation committees he does not chair, and wears a Harry-Potter-like invisibility cloak at all other times. Or it could be that it's us, his students, who are deficient, and our eyes simply lose the power to see him during the summer months. (Perhaps the invisibility cloak is awarded with tenure?)

But why wouldn't that have occurred in previous summers? No, he's here. The three clues above make it clear.

That means that he's avoiding me and his other doctoral students. I'd once heard, back in the very early stages of my graduate studies, that there comes a time when you stop avoiding your adviser, and your adviser starts avoiding you. I never believed it.

I never believed, first, that I would be so anxious to talk to him. And I certainly never believed that he would be so anxious not to talk to me.

Really, it's the timing of this particular avoidance that is so frustrating. I wouldn't have cared much if he had avoided me back last winter, when I was still trying to write my dissertation. But somehow, he found me much more frequently than I would've liked at that point.

But my dissertation, as far as I'm concerned, is done. All I need is feedback from my adviser so I can do my revisions and be done with this whole affair. But I can't very well make revisions that I don't yet have.

And there's another problem. Since my first year of graduate school, I've been hearing about how darn-near impossible it is to get a tenure-track job, let alone a good one in a place you would actually like to live. As I prepare to tackle just that task now, I find myself with precious little guidance. Hence my search for my adviser.

I'd like guidance on my cover letter. On what other materials I should place in my applications. On exactly which jobs I should be applying for. On what to expect during this whole process. And, if it isn't asking too much, maybe a reassurance that I'm likely to get a job this year.

Does it shock you that I'd like help dealing with all of that? Or that I expected my adviser to provide that help? As job deadlines loom, I find myself without revisions, without a dissertation defense date, and without feedback on my applications.

I suppose I could do this all alone; in fact, that's exactly what I expect I will do.

But, before giving in, I plan to conduct a bit more stalking. I've already tried knocking on his office door without an appointment (which I can't make, since he won't reply to my e-mails), but he doesn't answer. I'm thinking that he may have installed a small Web camera outside the office door, and is simply avoiding those whose dissertations he hasn't yet read.

If I don't hear from him soon, maybe I'll lay in wait outside his office door, or on the ground floor of the building. I could just casually lounge by his (new) car, and pretend to have been walking somewhere when (if?) I finally see him. Maybe I'll leave a note on the windshield.

His disappearance occurs at a time when, I think, I'm doing well otherwise. I recently received a large dissertation grant and a campus award, and had an article published.

None of that makes me a shoo-in for a tenure-track job, nor does it make me the top student in my department. But it does mean that, with the proper guidance, I ought to have a shot at a job this year. I have no real geographical constraints; my partner and I are both willing to live just about anywhere, at least for a while. I'm open to teaching at a variety of different types of institutions.

I'm also the only one of his students on the market this year, which would normally suggest that he ought to be concentrating on getting me a job.

I realize, of course, that people have lives outside the ivory tower (although it's been made clear to me that in graduate school this is frowned upon). But to disappear entirely? Now?

So, I will continue to hone my sleuthing skills. I am learning how to tail people (which could come in handy if the academic career doesn't work out, and would probably pay much better), and learning patience all at the same time. Perhaps that is his goal? (No, I don't think so, either.)

I'll let you know when, and if, I find him.