Career Talk

Coping With Chronic Depression II

Article tools

Printer friendly	E-mail article	Subscribe	Order reprints
	Discuss any Chronicle article in our forums
Latest Headlines An Academic in America On Stupidity, Part 2 Exactly how should we teach the 'digital natives'? First Person Polished Applications Nothing stunts civility like graduate-student insecurities and competition. gift. Career News Fish in the Shallows Stanley Fish would like professors to impart knowledge without viewpoint. Even if that were possible, it would be undesirable. gift. First Person The Welcome Mat On his first day on the job, an assistant professor is handed an unusual gift. Resource Salaries: Faculty | Administrative Presidential pay: Private | Public Financial resources: Salary and cost-of-living calculators Career resources: Academic | Nonacademic Library: Previous articles by topic | by date | by column Career Talk, Ms. Mentor, and more... Landing your first job On the tenure track Mid-career and on Administrative careers Nonacademic careers for Ph.D.'s Talk about your career Blogs

By Name Withheld

A couple of years ago I went on the job market while being treated for depression. Actually, I had become depressed because of my experience on the market. My story, I suppose, is more about how the job market made me ill than about being ill while I was on the market.

Although my first job search was unsuccessful, it was not stressful. In the fall of my second year on the market, however, I found myself hyperventilating, having anxiety attacks and going through long stretches where I couldn't eat. The market initially went well for me -- there were, unusually, a number of jobs advertising for someone with my exact combination of expertise and I had many requests for dossiers and four interviews lined up for my national conference.

But by January it started to seem hopeless. The dates for which I had been told that I would hear something went past without any contact, and I became convinced that I would never be able to get a job because I was fundamentally a bad candidate. I became obsessed with figuring out exactly where I had gone wrong. I found teaching and research an exhausting chore, I couldn't sleep without sleeping pills, and I routinely broke down in tears.

Fortunately, I was seeing a psychiatrist who recognized what I was going through and we were able to find a combination of medications that allowed me to return to a fairly normal life again. Also fortunately, even at my worst stages I was able to continue to work.

I was very concerned that some of my colleagues and former advisers would discover that I was depressed and would then feel awkward about writing recommendations for me. I don't think, however, that anyone ever knew and I told only my family and a very close friend what was happening. Because of this, I never had to deal with disclosing my depression to any of my colleagues. I was still on medication for the next year's market, and although I was worried about how I would handle it, it went pretty well (considering that once again it failed to lead to callbacks or a job offer!).

Two years later, I'm on the market again. I'm no longer on medication and feel pretty good about things. A lot has changed in my life, but I still keep an eye out for signs of another depression.

If I were to make any suggestions about depression and the job market, it would be to find yourself a good psychiatrist at the first signs of problems. It's very important to nip depression in the bud before it becomes more difficult to treat and seriously interferes with your life. One of the reasons that my depression was brought under control fairly easily is that we caught it early on.

It's also important that you see a psychiatrist, or a psychologist in practice with a physician, who can prescribe drugs, and not simply an internist who will give you Prozac. Different people need different medications, and it can take some experimenting to find the combination that will work best for you; people often need some talk therapy along with the medication in order to recover from their depression and to learn how to avoid future episodes.

I found a psychiatrist who had treated many other graduate students and professors, which made things easier when trying to explain the vagaries of how academic careers work. If you're at a large university, there will undoubtedly be similar psychiatrists near you, and it is worth searching them out.

I would also avoid telling anyone in your profession about your illness. Despite Tipper Gore's efforts, mental illness is still something that people find frightening. And unless someone confronts you about problems with your work (in which case you might want to assure them that you haven't been well but that you're seeing a doctor and should soon be up to speed again) there's no need to add this to your profile.

There is a very strong correlation between anxiety and depression -- that is, it is not unusual for someone who is suffering from anxiety to then become depressed. If I had known that then, I certainly would have treated my anxiety more vigorously. In any case, it might be worth mentioning that if someone is suffering from even a mild anxiety disorder they should consult with a therapist just to be on the safe side.

Of course, why we aren't all suffering anxiety from the market is beyond me.