anonynew
New member

Posts: 9
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« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2007, 09:49:54 AM » |
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Thanks, all, for your advice, comments and suggestions. It was not my intention to come across as "whiney" or entitled; I certainly do feel lucky to have this job, as the title of the post suggests in all sincerity.
Zharkov's point is well-taken, and I very much appreciate the opportunities for graduate education this institution is giving students who might otherwise not be admitted to graduate schools. That was my favorite part of the last job I had, in a terminal MA program. One of the things that is so painful about the current job is that we take some people who could make it, successfully, as something/somewhere, into a program where it's pretty clear from the beginning that they're not going to make it (because of lack of English language skills, for example) just to make admissions quotas, and then they're dismissed in a term or two for failing to maintain grades, but their psyches are a lot the worse for the wear. We haven't done them any favors, not only by taking their money in what I would call bad faith (we offer almost no financial aid) but by taking people who rightfully felt good about how far they'd come, and putting them through a preventable process that leaves them feeling like a failure, in many cases. I feel embarrassed, not because of my "background," as one poster put it, but because I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing; morally, this is very hard to live with.
When you couple that (the "good students done wrong" to by us) with the not-insignificant number of students who are behavior problems, the job feels worse to me. I am working with three students who are in the process of being kicked out, two of whom are threatening to sue (me, the president of the institution, everyone they've ever come in contact with at the school), and one student who failed a comprehensive exam, of whom I am genuinely scared. That student is furious, silent, threatening; when I heard the Va. Tech. story, that student instantly came to mind, although I had always pictured that the student would turn up at my house with a gun, rather than do it at school. I have two young kids, and a not-unlisted address; it feels insane to wonder if I should get a security system to protect me from students. I wish I were paranoid; yes, I'm documenting everything.
Anyhow, I do hope this doesn't come off as more "whining." I've tried to put in paragraph breaks, as the lack of same seemed also to annoy people. Yes, I'll keep applying. I did the hour and a half commute to a job for a year, but it meant leaving three hours ahead of time because one couldn't predict traffic, and in the end the person on leave came back anyway. As for another part of the country, my spouse has a niche job which, for all practical purposes, is unduplicatable- they created it for hu because they already knew and liked hu, and wanted to find a way to keep hu; but hu's income contributes much more than mine to the aforementioned, shoes, food, etc., which makes relocating to improve my job satisfaction unlikely. I may face the non-academic market soon; I've done such jobs intermittently, and it turns out I miss the classroom contact- I like teaching, and as it turns out, I get decent evaluations, so I'd like to keep teaching if I can.
I appreciate everyone's feedback. For whatever it's worth, I don't feel like I'm preemptively ruling out all suggestions/possibilities; if the answer were easy or obvious, I hope I would have found it and run with it long ago. This may be depression but it's not entitlement.
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