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Author Topic: Caring for Elderly Parents  (Read 344247 times)
llanfair
Still reading past her bedtime and Very
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Whither Canada?


« Reply #1005 on: April 08, 2012, 6:23:36 AM »

The debit card was in the pencil cup.

Mom's was in the bathroom drawer the other day.
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Stop looking for zebras when the horse is already standing on your foot.
compdoc
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« Reply #1006 on: April 10, 2012, 5:08:15 PM »

llanfair, I'm glad about the agency.

Both llanfair and seventhyear, I'm glad yall found them. I have occasionally put something in a safe place and never found it again.
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tinyzombie
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elevate from this point on - chuck d


« Reply #1007 on: April 10, 2012, 5:28:05 PM »

It's cancer. Operable cancer -- the doc thinks he can get the tumor out without chemo or radiation after. She might have to get some other (non-essential) parts taken out, too. Big thing now is whether it will happen all at once or not.

As always, Mom seems pretty fine -- proactive, getting things in order, etc. I am going to visit the weekend before her surgery, and will visit a lot during and after.

For a while I really thought it wouldn't be the big C. I'm relieved that it seems to have been caught early. I'm scared. I kind of want to keep busy, and I kind of want to hide. I wish I could hug my mom right now.

TZ
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Quote from: usukprof
I think we have three of them, but the smallest one seems to be the leader.
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Who needs real life when Sandra Bullock is around?
Quote from: systeme_d_
You are all my people, and I love you.
llanfair
Still reading past her bedtime and Very
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Posts: 31,349

Whither Canada?


« Reply #1008 on: April 10, 2012, 6:40:00 PM »

It's cancer. Operable cancer -- the doc thinks he can get the tumor out without chemo or radiation after. She might have to get some other (non-essential) parts taken out, too. Big thing now is whether it will happen all at once or not.

As always, Mom seems pretty fine -- proactive, getting things in order, etc. I am going to visit the weekend before her surgery, and will visit a lot during and after.

For a while I really thought it wouldn't be the big C. I'm relieved that it seems to have been caught early. I'm scared. I kind of want to keep busy, and I kind of want to hide. I wish I could hug my mom right now.

TZ

Call her and tell her just that, TZ.  Many, many healing vibes heading her way, and supportive ones for both of you.
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Stop looking for zebras when the horse is already standing on your foot.
annmarie
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« Reply #1009 on: April 10, 2012, 10:32:28 PM »

Yes,  tell her that TZ.  My mom also has cancer.  I wished for a time that I could have the cancer and have Mom be OK.
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anthroid
hyperdiffusionist wackaloonery!
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No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.


« Reply #1010 on: April 10, 2012, 10:48:24 PM »

Yes,  tell her that TZ.  My mom also has cancer.  I wished for a time that I could have the cancer and have Mom be OK.

This is a big deal.  My mom waited until it was too late.  Her cancer, as it turns out, killed her within 4 months of diagnosis.  Tell your mom that she can be CURED.  This is huge.

So much love and healing from here to you and to her!
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annmarie
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« Reply #1011 on: April 11, 2012, 11:35:37 AM »

Yes,  tell her that TZ.  My mom also has cancer.  I wished for a time that I could have the cancer and have Mom be OK.

This is a big deal.  My mom waited until it was too late.  Her cancer, as it turns out, killed her within 4 months of diagnosis.  Tell your mom that she can be CURED.  This is huge.

So much love and healing from here to you and to her!

Thank you for your kind words.  i am not sure whether we are too late this time. 
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tinyzombie
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elevate from this point on - chuck d


« Reply #1012 on: April 18, 2012, 12:33:42 PM »

annmarie, I am thinking of you and your mom, and sending love and energy.

My mom's surgery has finally been scheduled; it's next week. I am going home this weekend to hang out with her, and then I will go back the day of and the day after. The surgery is a couple of days later than it was originally supposed to be, which works out well, because my aunt will be there, and she will be able to stay for at least the next week.

She is going with her second opinion doc, about whom she feels really good. We are still hoping that she won't have to have chemo, although he did mention it.

TZ
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Quote from: usukprof
I think we have three of them, but the smallest one seems to be the leader.
Quote from: dolljepopp
Who needs real life when Sandra Bullock is around?
Quote from: systeme_d_
You are all my people, and I love you.
bibliothecula
Academic ronin
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like Bunnicula, only with books


« Reply #1013 on: April 18, 2012, 5:09:31 PM »

tz, I'm glad her surgery is scheduled and the timing works out well. Sometimes just having things on the docket can ease the anxiety. I wish her--and you--all the best.
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compdoc
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« Reply #1014 on: April 18, 2012, 10:11:14 PM »

tinyzombie, Sorry it's the big C. Glad it looks like they caught it early.

Blessings on you both.
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tinyzombie
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elevate from this point on - chuck d


« Reply #1015 on: April 20, 2012, 10:42:37 AM »

Thanks, compd and biblio. Much appreciated.

I think I am being selfish, but I don't know how to feel. I thought that family and I had said that I'd stay with Mom for day of surgery and day after, and then head back to my home and job for a couple of days before coming back to visit the next week. She just asked me about a day I didn't think we'd talked about, and I feel lousy for assuming that I'd not be there that day.

The scheduling of leave time is not that tough -- my boss is very supportive -- but it still feels weird. Basically, I feel like an a**hole, and I haven't even been able to be really supportive of mom yet. (I will this weekend.)

I'm confused and scared. I want my mommy.
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Quote from: usukprof
I think we have three of them, but the smallest one seems to be the leader.
Quote from: dolljepopp
Who needs real life when Sandra Bullock is around?
Quote from: systeme_d_
You are all my people, and I love you.
amlithist
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Posts: 7,257


« Reply #1016 on: April 20, 2012, 11:37:19 AM »

Thanks, compd and biblio. Much appreciated.

I think I am being selfish, but I don't know how to feel. I thought that family and I had said that I'd stay with Mom for day of surgery and day after, and then head back to my home and job for a couple of days before coming back to visit the next week. She just asked me about a day I didn't think we'd talked about, and I feel lousy for assuming that I'd not be there that day.

The scheduling of leave time is not that tough -- my boss is very supportive -- but it still feels weird. Basically, I feel like an a**hole, and I haven't even been able to be really supportive of mom yet. (I will this weekend.)

I'm confused and scared. I want my mommy.

Hugs, TZ.  You aren't doing anything wrong--you're just confronting this stuff for the first time.  Here's hoping all goes well and you never have to get to the point where you're an old pro at dealing with it, like some of us have been.  And don't worry about what you do looking wrong to other people, either family or at work--you do what's right for you and your mom.  It's easy to get so absorbed in everything that it feels like everyone's every thought is all about you, but it isn't, which is not only OK but a good thing.
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compdoc
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« Reply #1017 on: April 20, 2012, 5:57:31 PM »

{{{hugs}}}, tinyzombie.

You will see your mommy soon and hopefully you will be hugging each other, visiting, and hearing good news after the surgery.
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tinyzombie
She of the Badass Abs, and a
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 15,137

elevate from this point on - chuck d


« Reply #1018 on: April 20, 2012, 11:10:50 PM »

Thanks, compd and biblio. Much appreciated.

I think I am being selfish, but I don't know how to feel. I thought that family and I had said that I'd stay with Mom for day of surgery and day after, and then head back to my home and job for a couple of days before coming back to visit the next week. She just asked me about a day I didn't think we'd talked about, and I feel lousy for assuming that I'd not be there that day.

The scheduling of leave time is not that tough -- my boss is very supportive -- but it still feels weird. Basically, I feel like an a**hole, and I haven't even been able to be really supportive of mom yet. (I will this weekend.)

I'm confused and scared. I want my mommy.

Hugs, TZ.  You aren't doing anything wrong--you're just confronting this stuff for the first time.  Here's hoping all goes well and you never have to get to the point where you're an old pro at dealing with it, like some of us have been.  And don't worry about what you do looking wrong to other people, either family or at work--you do what's right for you and your mom.  It's easy to get so absorbed in everything that it feels like everyone's every thought is all about you, but it isn't, which is not only OK but a good thing.

I needed to hear this, ALH, especially that last sentence. I have to admit that I've been (quietly) getting a little sad/offended/whatever when certain people I'm close to don't seem to ask about Mom as much as I'd like, especially when they have been there for me in the past, and then I remember that I don't always know what to say when someone I love has a loved one in a bad spot.

You are right, compdoc - ten hours from now! Today is mom's birthday, so we are going to celebrate tomorrow. I am sure that we will cry (we are both criers), but my goal is to help us have as much fun as possible before the hospital time starts.
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Quote from: usukprof
I think we have three of them, but the smallest one seems to be the leader.
Quote from: dolljepopp
Who needs real life when Sandra Bullock is around?
Quote from: systeme_d_
You are all my people, and I love you.
annmarie
Finally a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 2,094


« Reply #1019 on: April 20, 2012, 11:36:12 PM »

TZ, it is very scary when your parents are not well.  Emotions come that you may not understand.  If you are young (and I suspect you are) many of your friends have never needed to worry about parents' health.  I expect that you will never regret your decision to spend much of the next week with Mom.  HUgs  & best wishes. 
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