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Author Topic: Student Sentences, Spring 2011 edition  (Read 162811 times)
tee_bee
I've really made it in academe, now that I am a
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« Reply #345 on: April 18, 2011, 10:04:42 PM »

"The world of hymnology can be tough and similar to Darwin’s Origin of Species, only the strongest, and sometimes the lucky, will survive."

The whole paper reads like this.

Oh, please tell, me what is a strong hymn? The sorrowful Easter ones? The glorious Christmas ones?

The student is writing--or rather, trying to write--about muscular Christianity. But he never defines it and has garbage like this everywhere. I told him countless times to go to the writing center, and even to drop, but oh no....

Is muscular Christianity something I should google or just go ahead and sympathize with you over?

Or perhaps a rousing rendition of "Onward Christian Soldiers" would help elucidate the concept?

For the rest of the curious souls - there is such a thing as muscular Christianity.

Indeed, and the Great Big Book of Everything describes it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscular_Christianity

Although the description is a bit thin, in my limited theological experience.
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bibliothecula
Academic ronin
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Posts: 5,168

like Bunnicula, only with books


« Reply #346 on: April 19, 2011, 10:21:49 AM »

Yes; in fact, the student discusses "Onward Christian Soldiers"in the paper, although not very well.
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I came. I saw. I cited.
bioteacher
chocolate loving
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Posts: 7,410

Confused and sad. Or happy. I'm not sure...


« Reply #347 on: April 20, 2011, 9:44:32 PM »

I guess there is probably a better home for this gem, but while we complain about students..... maybe we need to look at the examples they are given.

I was ticketed last week for parking my car in a different lot than normal even though it was for about 15 minutes to transport awkward items from car to building and thus permitted according to campus policy. I wrote a protest email. A snail mail decision came tonight.

"After careful consideration of the facts presented to the Appeals Office and the rules and regulations of the GREAT ORGANIZATION OF BLAH BLAH BLAH, your citation has been downgraded and the fine is due. You may further appeal to the parking panels board.....

Below that: Amount due: $0.00.
Appeal result: warning."


So the citation was "downgraded" but I have to pay the fine, except the amount due is not equal to the fine on the ticket. And I am welcome to appeal this decision (so I can pay more?) by jumping through more hoops. And I have now been given a warning (that following the rules results in parking tickets). WTF?

Bioson scratched his head when I showed him the letter. Bioette said I should pay them a dollar so I don't have to deal with the issue any more!

If the university cannot produce a document with even a pretense of clarity, why are we surprised by the writing of our students?

I'm calling tomorrow and hope to contact a live person who speaks in plain English. I'll probably be told to make an offering of cat hair and dog vomit by February 30th or face extradition to planet Vogon. I may just give them a stack of papers to grade as payment for my fine.

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Lifesaving dream crusher and member of the Real vs. Zeal club.
mystictechgal
Happy in my "full, rich adulthood", and as a
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One step at a time


« Reply #348 on: April 21, 2011, 12:02:34 AM »

Bioteacher,

It's a form letter. They've downgraded your fine to a warning, and they have rescinded the fine, altogether. You won. You don't owe them anything. You don't need to appeal anything. In other cases they might have downgraded someone's citation from, I dunno, reckless driving with a fine of $60, to speeding, with a fine of $20. They'd have sent the exact same letter, but showing they'd now been charged with speeding and they now owed $20. If that person still thought $20 was excessive or unwarranted, they could appeal it farther.
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Quote
You must realize that a university cannot educate you. You must do that for yourself, although a college or university is the place where it is likely that you can study most efficiently.
http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/chapman.htm

"Is all the same, only different" -- HL
chaosbydesign
"Are you alive?"
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Posts: 21,902

Whatever your problem is, it's probably my fault.


« Reply #349 on: April 21, 2011, 12:06:32 AM »

"After careful consideration of the facts presented to the Appeals Office and the rules and regulations of the GREAT ORGANIZATION OF BLAH BLAH BLAH, your citation has been downgraded and the fine is due. You may further appeal to the parking panels board.....

Below that: Amount due: $0.00.
Appeal result: warning."

Send them a cheque for $0.00.
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I am expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously sir. To which one are you referring? -- Spock
frogfactory
Totally Metal
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Posts: 10,600


« Reply #350 on: April 21, 2011, 7:17:05 AM »

"After careful consideration of the facts presented to the Appeals Office and the rules and regulations of the GREAT ORGANIZATION OF BLAH BLAH BLAH, your citation has been downgraded and the fine is due. You may further appeal to the parking panels board.....

Below that: Amount due: $0.00.
Appeal result: warning."

Send them a cheque for $0.00.

This might not be such a bad move, CYA-wise.  I've read stories in which people have been hounded for months by automatically generated letters demanding the £0.00 (all the ones I've read were in the UK, but still), so the point where bailiffs were even brought in to recover the money.  At this point, since bailiffs add a retrieval fee, the figure stops being £0 and can start getting you in real trouble.
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At the end of the day, sometimes you just have to masturbate in the bathroom.
chaosbydesign
"Are you alive?"
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Posts: 21,902

Whatever your problem is, it's probably my fault.


« Reply #351 on: April 21, 2011, 7:19:03 AM »

Oh, I wasn't kidding. I've been on the recieving end of repeated demands for £0.00 from two different companies.
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I am expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously sir. To which one are you referring? -- Spock
frogfactory
Totally Metal
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« Reply #352 on: April 21, 2011, 7:24:19 AM »

*to the point.

Missed the edit window, sorry.
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At the end of the day, sometimes you just have to masturbate in the bathroom.
zombie_librarian
Senior member
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Posts: 464


« Reply #353 on: April 24, 2011, 7:59:50 PM »

"There are high upstart costs associated with solar panels..."
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marigolds
looks far too young to be a
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i had fun once and it was awful


« Reply #354 on: April 25, 2011, 12:22:12 PM »

"The music in this movie is horrible and its use of sexuality, sexual fantasies and tight pants doesn't make it better."
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They are our servants.  They are like dogs.  Sometimes, they think they remember being wolves, but they are only dreaming.
westcoastgirl
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Posts: 2,380


« Reply #355 on: April 25, 2011, 1:39:26 PM »

A classic that my husband and I continue to laugh about:

(Question on a test) Who was the Prophet of Islam? (Answer): Umja.

Where do people get this nonsense and why not just leave the answer blank?
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Quote from: cgfunmathguy
We're just cyborgs standing in the way of their dreams.
mystictechgal
Happy in my "full, rich adulthood", and as a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 16,266

One step at a time


« Reply #356 on: April 25, 2011, 2:59:14 PM »

A classic that my husband and I continue to laugh about:

(Question on a test) Who was the Prophet of Islam? (Answer): Umja.

Where do people get this nonsense and why not just leave the answer blank?

The United Messianic Jewish Alliance created Islam? Is this another one of those conspiracy theories? <interthreadularity>
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Quote
You must realize that a university cannot educate you. You must do that for yourself, although a college or university is the place where it is likely that you can study most efficiently.
http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/chapman.htm

"Is all the same, only different" -- HL
onthefringe
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 1,548


« Reply #357 on: April 25, 2011, 3:26:14 PM »

"The music in this movie is horrible and its use of sexuality, sexual fantasies and tight pants doesn't make it better."

And now I want to know what movie we are talking about!

Labyrinth? Grease? This is Spinal Tap?
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0susanna
Junior member
**
Posts: 75


« Reply #358 on: April 25, 2011, 3:38:41 PM »

Concluding sentence of desperate research paper:

"The Tempest explains the understanding of the meaning of The Tempest, Prospero's actions and interaction with the other characters, and striving for freedom."
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llanfair
Still reading past her bedtime and Very
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Posts: 31,338

Whither Canada?


« Reply #359 on: April 25, 2011, 3:39:49 PM »

Concluding sentence of desperate research paper:

"The Tempest explains the understanding of the meaning of The Tempest, Prospero's actions and interaction with the other characters, and striving for freedom."


That word salad needs more dressing.
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Stop looking for zebras when the horse is already standing on your foot.
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