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Author Topic: Is it an absolute no-no to accept an offer and then  (Read 21738 times)
browneyedgirl
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« Reply #135 on: January 10, 2012, 7:48:52 PM »

Again, thank you for the responses.  I will let you know what happens...

It's really great to hear all of your various experiences.
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browneyedgirl
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Posts: 301


« Reply #136 on: January 11, 2012, 4:45:05 PM »

Just wanted to update you guys:

They did want service, advising, being on campus right from the start (which I completely understand, they have their own obligations).

So I'm drafting a decline email right now.  I feel a HUGE sense of relief (so that tell's me something right there) and I hope they are not upset (I applied in good faith thinking I'd be further along and because my advisor encouraged me to).  I am responding right away so they can go on to their next candidate.  There is a teeny tiny part of me that feels sad BUT I think it would be too much too soon.  Now I can focus on finishing (I'm still waiting for IRB so I can collect data) while staying put (instead of working a full TT job, finishing, moving and DH getting a new job). 

I feel good about this decision.  Yes there are no guarantees in life, I have no crystal ball about what opportunities the future will bring but I am making the best one for me NOW.

Thanks everyone for all of your advice, questions, insight, complaints, etc...
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polly_mer
practice makes perfect
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Have you worked on that project today?


« Reply #137 on: January 11, 2012, 4:52:07 PM »

Thanks for updating us.  If it matters (and it shouldn't, but...), then I think you made the right decision at this particular point in your life.

Politely decline; don't over think this, just a simple "Thanks for the offer, but this isn't right for me at this time" is all you need to say.  No one cares about details, but people do want a timely response so they can go to the next person on the list.

For you (and the reading audience), keep in mind that turning down one offer doesn't mean that you can't apply for the next opening in a few years when your circumstances are different.  You negotiated in good faith this time and sometimes the timing just isn't right.

<stern look>
So write that email and get back to work on your research so you'll be in good shape if the SLAC calls.
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I've joined a bizarre cult called JordanCanonicalForm's Witnesses.  I have to go from door to door asking people things like, "Good evening, sir!  Do you have a moment to chat about Linear Transformations?"
browneyedgirl
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Posts: 301


« Reply #138 on: January 11, 2012, 5:08:16 PM »

Thanks for updating us.  If it matters (and it shouldn't, but...), then I think you made the right decision at this particular point in your life.

Politely decline; don't over think this, just a simple "Thanks for the offer, but this isn't right for me at this time" is all you need to say.  No one cares about details, but people do want a timely response so they can go to the next person on the list.

For you (and the reading audience), keep in mind that turning down one offer doesn't mean that you can't apply for the next opening in a few years when your circumstances are different.  You negotiated in good faith this time and sometimes the timing just isn't right.

<stern look>
So write that email and get back to work on your research so you'll be in good shape if the SLAC calls.

Yes, I just sent it! I didn't want to hold them up in anyway, I politely declined and thanked them for taking the time.  The Dean actually already wrote back to me saying he genuinely is disappointed but understands my concerns...I'm not going to lie, they all seemed like great people.  But like I said, for right now this was the best decision.

Yes, moving onward to finishing!
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browneyedgirl
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« Reply #139 on: January 11, 2012, 5:28:59 PM »

About that other SLAC nearby that I told I had an offer somewhere else...

Do I let them know I declined or just let it be?  My initial thought was to let them know that I'm still on the market but didn't know if that would hurt my chances...
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polly_mer
practice makes perfect
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Posts: 37,441

Have you worked on that project today?


« Reply #140 on: January 11, 2012, 6:13:09 PM »

About that other SLAC nearby that I told I had an offer somewhere else...

Do I let them know I declined or just let it be?  My initial thought was to let them know that I'm still on the market but didn't know if that would hurt my chances...

Let's do a bit of logic:

1) People think you have accepted another offer.  What are they going to do: call you again or sigh and go to the next choice?

2) Someone they want to interview calls and says, "I declined the other offer because it just wasn't me.  Please consider me in your search".  What are they going to do: sigh and skip someone whom they want and who wants to be there or check the list to see if they can wedge in another interview?

In short: yes, contact that other place and say, "I'm still on the market if you are still interested".  At worst they will say, "Sorry, we've already made the short list.  Please apply for the next open position".  However, possibly you are in the running for an interview.

Write that email now as well.

(Then, get back to work on your research).

P.S. If you come back here to ask what to do with that offer, should you get it, I will personally hunt you down and whap you with a mackerel.  Only contact the SLAC if you will take their job if offered because it doesn't have the problem that the other one did with location away from your current support group.  If the finishing while having a TT position and a kid remain daunting, tell these folks upfront that you would want a January start date.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2012, 6:16:10 PM by polly_mer » Logged

I've joined a bizarre cult called JordanCanonicalForm's Witnesses.  I have to go from door to door asking people things like, "Good evening, sir!  Do you have a moment to chat about Linear Transformations?"
browneyedgirl
Senior member
****
Posts: 301


« Reply #141 on: January 11, 2012, 6:28:54 PM »

About that other SLAC nearby that I told I had an offer somewhere else...

Do I let them know I declined or just let it be?  My initial thought was to let them know that I'm still on the market but didn't know if that would hurt my chances...

Let's do a bit of logic:

1) People think you have accepted another offer.  What are they going to do: call you again or sigh and go to the next choice?

2) Someone they want to interview calls and says, "I declined the other offer because it just wasn't me.  Please consider me in your search".  What are they going to do: sigh and skip someone whom they want and who wants to be there or check the list to see if they can wedge in another interview?

In short: yes, contact that other place and say, "I'm still on the market if you are still interested".  At worst they will say, "Sorry, we've already made the short list.  Please apply for the next open position".  However, possibly you are in the running for an interview.

Write that email now as well.

(Then, get back to work on your research).

P.S. If you come back here to ask what to do with that offer, should you get it, I will personally hunt you down and whap you with a mackerel.  Only contact the SLAC if you will take their job if offered because it doesn't have the problem that the other one did with location away from your current support group.  If the finishing while having a TT position and a kid remain daunting, tell these folks upfront that you would want a January start date.

Thank you and thanks for the laugh!  No, you won't hear me saying what should I do if this other one works out.  Take away the stressors of moving and husband leaving a good job (and this is one of my ideal places to live) make the task seem much more doable. 

Thank you!
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helpful
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Posts: 10,368


« Reply #142 on: January 11, 2012, 6:30:41 PM »

Sounds like you made the right decision. Too bad they weren't more flexible -- my institution protects ttrack hires from service the first term at least so that they can get settled in properly and get to know the culture of the department.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2012, 6:34:23 PM by helpful » Logged
browneyedgirl
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Posts: 301


« Reply #143 on: January 11, 2012, 6:33:51 PM »

I am so thankful now that I am at a place where January start dates are possible and ttrack profs are protected from service and advising at least the first term of work!

Yes, you're definitely in a good spot! That scenario reads they really want to help their new professors succeed. 
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drnobody
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Posts: 1,108


« Reply #144 on: January 11, 2012, 6:49:20 PM »

BEG, it's rare on here you get a congratulations for not taking a job, but I think you did the right thing and in the long run you will not regret it. I hope also that others who see this thread will learn from it. It's helpful to hear these things played out. Congratulations on choosing to finish and find peace in it all. A job will come again but now you can finish--and also cherish time with your daughter without trying to make it all happen at once.
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browneyedgirl
Senior member
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Posts: 301


« Reply #145 on: January 11, 2012, 6:52:17 PM »

BEG, it's rare on here you get a congratulations for not taking a job, but I think you did the right thing and in the long run you will not regret it. I hope also that others who see this thread will learn from it. It's helpful to hear these things played out. Congratulations on choosing to finish and find peace in it all. A job will come again but now you can finish--and also cherish time with your daughter without trying to make it all happen at once.

Thank you, I appreciate the sentiments.  It was a learning process for sure!
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msparticularity
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Posts: 18,502

Assistant Professor cum bricoleur


« Reply #146 on: January 11, 2012, 8:31:53 PM »

Declining an offer is always scary, but you are in a field where the situation is decent. Happy writing!
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"Once admit that the sole verifiable or fruitful object of knowledge is the particular set of changes that generate the object of study...and no intelligible question can be asked about what, by assumption, lies outside." John Dewey

"Be particular." Jill Conner Browne
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