"favorite" student e-mails

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dagny:
I received an e-mail just today from a student that read: "I just did not expect the first test to be that hard. I did not even buy the book, so I hadn't read the chapters. I guess I am just trying to explain why I have gotten off on the wrong foot."

Where....to...begin......

dogstar:

  In response to a small glitch with an online quiz (at 8 AM on a Friday morning):

  "I had to leave an open keg for this!"

al_bundy:
"Ok, I understand what you mean.  It just said during the assignment that you had to find a value that did this.  Only no one value can reach all of these except infinity or a variable variant.  Even at two equals L few values do not include the full delta no matter what.  In other words, It seems that no matter the value there cannot be a solution because Delta varies.  I was going to try 2 Delta as an answer, but that wasn't a constant for e and I wasn't sure if it would work for this kind of problem."

If you can understand what he's talking about, please let me know.

"variable variant"... Bwahahahaha!!!

acrimone:
The most pathetic email I ever received:

Professor Garcia,

Can I please get some extra credit in light of the last test which didnt go so well?  I know I'm not doing as well as I could but I really love your class and think you're a great teacher and I just think I deserve the chance to do as well as I know I can.  Please please please let me know what sort of assignment I can do.

My reply:

Dear Josephine,

No.  If you could have done better, you should have.

Sincerely yours,

Professor Garcia

yatchie:
My favorite so far...

I do not like math much at all.... I am a liberal arts type of person. ;)  But I have been a 4.0 student all my life, and I want to contiue that way through college.  What I want to know is, what do I ahve to  do to get a "A"  or "B" in your class?

umm... study, do your homework, and read the directions?

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