• October 5, 2015

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October 05, 2015, 5:50:36 pm *
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News: Talk about how to cope with chronic illness, disability, and other health issues in the academic workplace.
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 on: Today at 05:43:39 pm 
Started by drsyn - Last post by economizer

I woke up feeling, in essence, sort of expurgated, to some extent.

 on: Today at 05:38:48 pm 
Started by drgrieves - Last post by egilson
I presume the article is a variation on the other recent pieces Turkle has written to promote her new book,
e.g. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/27/opinion/sunday/stop-googling-lets-talk.html

The convocation speaker at the SLAC I taught at several years ago was promoting his book about how the Internet makes us stupid ("and here's some evidence I cherry-picked to back that up"). Mid-talk, I glanced over and saw that the faculty member to my right was texting. It was a more convincing demonstration than any the author offered in his talk. This looks to be a little bit better supported, but it's still fuzzy around the edges.

 on: Today at 05:36:38 pm 
Started by carebearstare - Last post by llanfair
I relearn this every day: I am so loved.

You are, and so you should be.

 on: Today at 05:35:40 pm 
Started by drsyn - Last post by llanfair
I am taking the night off and reading under the duvet.  Yes, people, I will be living the Hiding Thread, just for one evening.

 on: Today at 05:34:16 pm 
Started by tuxedo_cat - Last post by llanfair
Such great photos and video! PoC, the kittens have grown into very beautiful cats.  Henry is a big lovey-dove, and Milo! Oh, the cute! Scampster is quite right - that photo is perfection.

 on: Today at 05:33:34 pm 
Started by prytania3 - Last post by dragon_flower
Checking in.  I have a little time before yoga starts.

Today:   make doctor's appointment, grade extra credit, enter grades, prep something, yoga

Daily:  morning yoga, teach, office hours, research, meditation, exercise, read, make tomorrow's lunch

Class A:
Ch.8--determine learning objectives, revise lecture notes, revise PP, find supplemental readings, scan and post articles, create document

Class B:
Ch.22--determine learning objectives, revise lecture notes, revise PP, find supplemental readings, scan and post articles, create document

Search database
Begin revising chapter
Finish reading Book F
Email editor about submission
Start building bibliography for manuscript

Create annotated task list for summer and fall
Paperwork packet
Email DJB about questions

Write and mail cards; ask mama for list of addresses (again)
Request exam copies of textbooks for Spring

 on: Today at 05:33:04 pm 
Started by mountainguy - Last post by secundem_artem
You know that course in medical school where they teach you how to become a doctor a$$hole whose every need and desire must always and forevermore come first?  You lot must have all gotten an A+. 

 on: Today at 05:22:52 pm 
Started by prytania3 - Last post by paddington_bear
I don't know how sentences and whole paragraphs can apparently sound good one day, and then weeks later sound so terrible.

*email D
*call dentist, damn it
*work on NP

Sabbatical Goals
*complete projects
*keep exercising
*do fun reading
*go outside at least 1 day a week

Sabbatical Projects
*FC research
*revise NP and submit somewhere by Jan.
*convert WH conf paper into article; submit by April

 on: Today at 05:21:16 pm 
Started by pedanterast - Last post by dr_starbucks
Our campus sells boxed water (http://www.boxedwaterisbetter.com/).  I do not know if this is more sustainable than bottle waters. 

 on: Today at 05:20:53 pm 
Started by elsie - Last post by diffyq
Wow, thank you for the responses. I'm sorry other couples have similar struggles, but it's nice knowing we're not alone too.

I don't say this to minimize your concerns. I just wonder if there are any battles here than are worth letting go of.

I'm scared that if I let go of some battles now, I'll be doing most of the housework forever--especially if we have kids--and it will hurt my career and general enjoyment of life. It makes me sad that just because I can do many chores efficiently and am somewhat inured to them (thanks, socialization and childhood depression!), he gets a pass. He reads a novel a week, and I'm happy if I can get through three a year. But I'm obviously bringing much of this on myself: he would've been fine with entirely Ikea furniture, and I'm the one who spent a bazillion hours shopping for the right everything. (He has told me he really enjoys the space, which is great, but I don't think he knows how much time it took.)

He is a good guy. He is deeply committed to equality, and there may be some equitable arrangement where he takes the bulk of regular chores, and I assume responsibility for planning and handling anything that's not a recurring task on a calendar. Even if this means I have to scan and plan more often and manage contingencies, it's better than being knocked out periodically by conflict.

Another option is that I get more clever and do some kind of zone defense, like we trade off who's responsible for tidying a room periodically. I worry about adding anything more to his list, however. He's still not very good at managing his time, though maybe he'll be faster at chores, cooking, etc. with practice.

Oh, one more thought in addition to my TL/DR post above. In our immaturity, my ex and I each felt that the other's stance meant they didn't care about us: "If s/he really loved me, s/he'd see how much I need things my way and do that!" But truly, that wasn't the case. We did love each other, we just couldn't hear that through the arguments. Separating need for order/disorder from affection would have helped us reach a resolution, not a dissolution.

This is really important and hard for me to remember sometimes. Thank you.

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