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Author Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!  (Read 2038196 times)
dr_alcott
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« Reply #5805 on: April 27, 2012, 9:02:40 AM »

Final exam question in Microbiology for Nurses. It's a case study where the student has to tell me how to treat the infection based on clinical presentation. This student recommends treating the bacterial infection with "Mersa"! I'll do my best to keep this one out of the clinics!

This reminds me of my last CPR class.  The instructor had, for whatever reason, also told us about tracheotomies.  On the day of the practical portion of the exam, the instructor started with each of us by saying "Annie is lying on the floor unconscious!  What should you do?"  When it was his turn, one of my classmates responded without hesitation and with complete seriousness, "Cut a hole in her throat!"  I sincerely hoped that if I was ever unconscious that he wasn't the one that found me.

Okay, so I don't want your clueless classmate to find me either, but every show that has a medical theme is apparently required to have an episode where someone does an emergency tracheotomy with a steak knife and a ball point pen.  It's right up there with a non-pilot landing a commercial jet and being locked in a safe with Mr. Mooney (or whomever). 

Maybe you should be worried about Clueless flying your jet.

Oh, yes. I'm still scarred from the Law & Order: SVU where Mariska Hargitay's character performed a ball-point tracheotomy. Bonus points if the person doing the "procedure" isn't an actual medical professional.

The first one I saw was performed by Father Mulcahy on MASH.
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You must be your own snow, Dr_Alcott.  You must lift, and sparkle, and then melt away.

I love everyone here!
biomancer
trying to be the person my dog thinks I am
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CHE Fora Hazmat Team


« Reply #5806 on: April 27, 2012, 11:16:08 AM »

Final exam question in Microbiology for Nurses. It's a case study where the student has to tell me how to treat the infection based on clinical presentation. This student recommends treating the bacterial infection with "Mersa"! I'll do my best to keep this one out of the clinics!

This reminds me of my last CPR class.  The instructor had, for whatever reason, also told us about tracheotomies.  On the day of the practical portion of the exam, the instructor started with each of us by saying "Annie is lying on the floor unconscious!  What should you do?"  When it was his turn, one of my classmates responded without hesitation and with complete seriousness, "Cut a hole in her throat!"  I sincerely hoped that if I was ever unconscious that he wasn't the one that found me.

Okay, so I don't want your clueless classmate to find me either, but every show that has a medical theme is apparently required to have an episode where someone does an emergency tracheotomy with a steak knife and a ball point pen.  It's right up there with a non-pilot landing a commercial jet and being locked in a safe with Mr. Mooney (or whomever). 

Maybe you should be worried about Clueless flying your jet.

Oh, yes. I'm still scarred from the Law & Order: SVU where Mariska Hargitay's character performed a ball-point tracheotomy. Bonus points if the person doing the "procedure" isn't an actual medical professional.

The first one I saw was performed by Father Mulcahy on MASH.

I'm reminded of the original "Police Academy" movie (the only one of the series that was actually funny), and how one recruit (Tackleberry?) really really wants to show that he knows how to perform an emergency tracheotomy with a steak knife.


But Mythbuster, I'm totally with you.  Last class of my micro-for-future-nurses class was today, and many of them are really struggling with the case studies.  Gods forbid that they should remember anything from the chapters we covered a month or two ago. 
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Clueless people can be dangerous. The acidic environment they can spread often needs to be neutralized, and humor is basic.  - Dellaroux

I have realized that it is best to assume everyone is bonkers until they demonstrate otherwise. - ChaosByDesign
geoteo
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« Reply #5807 on: April 27, 2012, 11:39:21 AM »

This is more of a whine than despair, but we don't have a professor whining in the classroom thread.

We're in the chemistry unit for science for teachers and I took a poll on what students wanted to see done.  I have dutifully bought the Mentos, diet Coke, and generic diet cola to do some tweaking to see what has the best effect. 

<least motivated voice ever>

Oh, boy.  It's soda that overflows if confined in the 16.X oz bottles or in a can.  Yippee. 

That was definitely worth the effort to figure out that a non-confined thing doesn't work (Mentos in a cup of diet Coke is a very slight fizzing, less exciting than the foam head caused by pouring the pop into the cup), so I have to have a collection of bottles or cans instead of just passing out cups and putting a slug into each one from the two liters that are on sale.

That was definitely worth the money blown on this.

Boy, howdy, won't that be fun to do in class, even if we go outside with a two-liter.

Yep, people who don't care enough to do that with their frat/sorority on Saturday night will certainly go to the trouble of making a genuine lesson so that the little kids could learn from this.
</voice>

I'm tempted to just show one of the YouTube videos of the spectacular fountains set to music in class next week and do the activity that uses the gallon of vinegar with the pounds of baking soda that I also bought today.  Just a spoonful of baking soda and a slug of vinegar in the empty 16.X oz bottles is pretty nifty and it's more interactive because I will convince people to put their hands into the bubbles, something no one will do with the sticky pop. 

Everyone has dealt with overflowing pop bottles, but I am frequently asked if I'm afraid of the baking soda and vinegar because people think it's hot (it's not, just as the fizzy pop is not hot).  It's also a lot cheaper for the classroom on a budget so my students may do it with their students.

Polly, we actually did this in Science Camp one summer--I forget whether the theme was air or water.  In any case, we used it with a device the students had to build, plus assorted numbers of Mentos, to discuss replication, collation of data, and what relationship of number-of-Mentos to angle-of-ascent produced the longest spew.

The kids loved it, but the porch of the building had to be hosed down.
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"Since the beginning of time, mankind has yearned for non-stick cookware."
citrine
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Beware the Annoying Bad Luck Snail


« Reply #5808 on: April 27, 2012, 11:55:29 AM »

One of the exercises that I had students in my first-year class do today was write the claim and reasons for their position papers on an index card and give them to me so that I could read them to the class and we could discuss them. Students have been working on these papers for about five weeks now, and I had the words "claim" and "reasons" with examples up on the overhead.

This is a transcription of the one which made me want to put my head down on the table and weep for the future: Claim smaller class size incress acidenic effecency
Resons: smaller class size incress the time that teacher Have with there student alowing more focus on individula studente needs


At least the student had a claim and reasons, I suppose?
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polly_mer
practice makes perfect
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Have you worked on that project today?


« Reply #5809 on: April 27, 2012, 12:03:10 PM »

Yes, Geoteo, a major project that includes lots of science skills would be a worthwhile use of the diet Coke and Mentos.  However, it's the end of semester and my time budget is about half an hour for a demo with a bit of participation.  

I can, though, start planning for when I teach this class again next spring to make it a weeklong project that would be worthwhile based on you nudging me to think bigger instead of small.
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sciencegrad
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« Reply #5810 on: April 28, 2012, 1:23:59 PM »

One of the exercises that I had students in my first-year class do today was write the claim and reasons for their position papers on an index card and give them to me so that I could read them to the class and we could discuss them. Students have been working on these papers for about five weeks now, and I had the words "claim" and "reasons" with examples up on the overhead.

This is a transcription of the one which made me want to put my head down on the table and weep for the future: Claim smaller class size incress acidenic effecency
Resons: smaller class size incress the time that teacher Have with there student alowing more focus on individula studente needs


At least the student had a claim and reasons, I suppose?

At least you were able to hold back the tears.  You're a stronger person than me.
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"Persons of good sense, I have since observed, seldom fall into [argument], except lawyers, university men, and men of all sorts that have been bred at Edinborough." -Benjamin Franklin
punchnpie
Have a great rabbit!
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« Reply #5811 on: April 28, 2012, 9:59:06 PM »

This is a transcription of the one which made me want to put my head down on the table and weep for the future: Claim smaller class size incress acidenic effecency
Resons: smaller class size incress the time that teacher Have with there student alowing more focus on individula studente needs


At least the student had a claim and reasons, I suppose?

Alas, my young friend writes like this. Sometimes I have to read his emails out loud to get what he's talking about. I'm always torn between correcting him and letting it go. He's told me he can't spell, but shoot, I couldn't play the piano until I tried. Sometimes you just have to work more at somethings than others.
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He's allergic to chocolate. I had to beat him.  -Tower Heist-
mountainguy
The no longer carbonated
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« Reply #5812 on: April 30, 2012, 7:30:17 PM »

If my each of my 100 students suddenly woke up in a concrete bunker containing nothing but a lamp, an empty bookcase, and a six-foot high sign with blinking neon lights that said "THERE IS AN EXIT BEHIND THE BOOKCASE. SLIDE THE BOOKCASE OUT OF THE WAY TO GET OUT," only 30 of my students would be able to get out. Of the remaining 70:

*40 would know what to do in theory but would stare blankly or collapse to the floor in tears because moving the bookcase is "haaaaaaard";
*20 would bang the lamp against the wall repeatedly until the lamp shattered and then yell at the neon sign for being unclear;
*10 would use their iPhones to find an entry on Yahoo! Answers that says "try sliding the bookcase out of the way," but would still have absolutely no idea what to do.





No, I'm not cranky or anything. Why do you ask?
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bioteacher
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Confused and sad. Or happy. I'm not sure...


« Reply #5813 on: April 30, 2012, 8:48:18 PM »

I see you've met my students, Mountainguy. This should help: <passes a pitcher of Awesome Beverage>
 
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Lifesaving dream crusher and member of the Real vs. Zeal club.
lohai0
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« Reply #5814 on: May 01, 2012, 6:20:56 PM »

So I gave the final for my "special" class today. I was super proud of them. 31/33 showed up, and everyone that showed up to take the final passed the class. Who didn't show up?

Exhibit A: The late add ghost student

Exhibit B: The one student who skipped class for a week because he "needed a break" and missed a test (20% of his grade)

A secured his F a long time ago.

B needs a 96% on the final to get a D (which is passing) in the class

The last student who showed finished the final at 3:15 (Final goes until 4:30). I figured the student took his F and left. Apparently he showed up at 3:30 and is now wandering around being a moron, because he is calling people and sending me emails. I emailed him back in three minutes telling him to come to my office and take the final. He hasn't shown up yet. I mean seriously, dude, just take your F and save me the trouble of grading something before failing you.
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I hate helicopter zombie grandparents. They are the worst.
burnie
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« Reply #5815 on: May 01, 2012, 10:54:10 PM »

Polly and other STEM profs, this made me giggle and think of you. http://imgur.com/MRhKb
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Corporate America wants people who seem like bold risk takers, but never actually do anything.  - Barney Stinson
cibolo
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« Reply #5816 on: May 02, 2012, 12:51:19 AM »

The last student who showed finished the final at 3:15 (Final goes until 4:30). I figured the student took his F and left. Apparently he showed up at 3:30 and is now wandering around being a moron...

My profs usually closed exams to late-comers once the first one has been turned in, to keep the late folks from chatting up the early-birds in the hall. It seemed reasonable. Maybe I'm just mean...
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monita
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« Reply #5817 on: May 02, 2012, 6:21:37 AM »

I'm not teaching this term, but I'm just had this maddening exchange on Facebook, and it seems to fit here.  At least you guys will understand:

Facebook Folks: Hippies shut down our mines!  They're taking our jobs!  EPA and socialism! Environmentalists hate coal miners!

Me: I'm an environmentalist, and I love coal miners - they're my family.  But I think we need to move away from coal.  It won't last forever, and there's good evidence that the environmental damage it causes is unhealthy.

FF:  Ignorant environmentalists always say that.  Where's your evidence that coal mines make you sick?  I'm not sick.

Me:  <post links to a pile of articles on Google Scholar>

FF:  These don't mean anything.  Everyone knows science changes, so therefore it's all wrong.

Me:  It does change, but that helps us avoid the wrong stuff.  Change makes science better, not worse.

FF:  That is stupid.  I know everyone in this county, and no one got sick from mining.

Me:  Anecdotes are not the same as data.  There's really strong evidence that this is bad, and we need to look for something better.

FF:  You hate coalminers! 

<bang bang bang>
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polly_mer
practice makes perfect
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Have you worked on that project today?


« Reply #5818 on: May 02, 2012, 7:51:24 AM »

Polly and other STEM profs, this made me giggle and think of you. http://imgur.com/MRhKb

I've read that paper more than once.  Thanks for sharing!

Oh, Monita.  I wish you could have dragged your FF's to the roundtable I hosted last week on the Marcellus Shale fracking.  We're in the middle of coal country and on top of the Marcellus Shale.  That was a good discussion with members from the public and the scientists interacting.  We even had county commissioners from the two counties within driving distance.
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I've joined a bizarre cult called JordanCanonicalForm's Witnesses.  I have to go from door to door asking people things like, "Good evening, sir!  Do you have a moment to chat about Linear Transformations?"
monita
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« Reply #5819 on: May 02, 2012, 10:06:12 AM »

That sounds interesting, Polly.  I'm glad to hear that you got a solid discussion going - that's exactly what is needed.  We still seem to be in argument mode back home.
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