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Author Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!  (Read 2493714 times)
citrine
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Beware the Annoying Bad Luck Snail


« Reply #5325 on: April 27, 2012, 11:55:29 am »

One of the exercises that I had students in my first-year class do today was write the claim and reasons for their position papers on an index card and give them to me so that I could read them to the class and we could discuss them. Students have been working on these papers for about five weeks now, and I had the words "claim" and "reasons" with examples up on the overhead.

This is a transcription of the one which made me want to put my head down on the table and weep for the future: Claim smaller class size incress acidenic effecency
Resons: smaller class size incress the time that teacher Have with there student alowing more focus on individula studente needs


At least the student had a claim and reasons, I suppose?
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sciencegrad
The youngest
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« Reply #5326 on: April 28, 2012, 1:23:59 pm »

One of the exercises that I had students in my first-year class do today was write the claim and reasons for their position papers on an index card and give them to me so that I could read them to the class and we could discuss them. Students have been working on these papers for about five weeks now, and I had the words "claim" and "reasons" with examples up on the overhead.

This is a transcription of the one which made me want to put my head down on the table and weep for the future: Claim smaller class size incress acidenic effecency
Resons: smaller class size incress the time that teacher Have with there student alowing more focus on individula studente needs


At least the student had a claim and reasons, I suppose?

At least you were able to hold back the tears.  You're a stronger person than me.
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"Persons of good sense, I have since observed, seldom fall into [argument], except lawyers, university men, and men of all sorts that have been bred at Edinborough." -Benjamin Franklin
punchnpie
Have a great rabbit!
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« Reply #5327 on: April 28, 2012, 9:59:06 pm »

This is a transcription of the one which made me want to put my head down on the table and weep for the future: Claim smaller class size incress acidenic effecency
Resons: smaller class size incress the time that teacher Have with there student alowing more focus on individula studente needs


At least the student had a claim and reasons, I suppose?

Alas, my young friend writes like this. Sometimes I have to read his emails out loud to get what he's talking about. I'm always torn between correcting him and letting it go. He's told me he can't spell, but shoot, I couldn't play the piano until I tried. Sometimes you just have to work more at somethings than others.
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He's allergic to chocolate. I had to beat him.  -Tower Heist-
mountainguy
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« Reply #5328 on: April 30, 2012, 7:30:17 pm »

If my each of my 100 students suddenly woke up in a concrete bunker containing nothing but a lamp, an empty bookcase, and a six-foot high sign with blinking neon lights that said "THERE IS AN EXIT BEHIND THE BOOKCASE. SLIDE THE BOOKCASE OUT OF THE WAY TO GET OUT," only 30 of my students would be able to get out. Of the remaining 70:

*40 would know what to do in theory but would stare blankly or collapse to the floor in tears because moving the bookcase is "haaaaaaard";
*20 would bang the lamp against the wall repeatedly until the lamp shattered and then yell at the neon sign for being unclear;
*10 would use their iPhones to find an entry on Yahoo! Answers that says "try sliding the bookcase out of the way," but would still have absolutely no idea what to do.





No, I'm not cranky or anything. Why do you ask?
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You may be manly, but you cannot handle all the mosquitoes.
bioteacher
chocolate loving
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Confused and sad. Or happy. I'm not sure...


« Reply #5329 on: April 30, 2012, 8:48:18 pm »

I see you've met my students, Mountainguy. This should help: <passes a pitcher of Awesome Beverage>
 
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Lifesaving dream crusher and member of the Real vs. Zeal club.
lohai0
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« Reply #5330 on: May 01, 2012, 6:20:56 pm »

So I gave the final for my "special" class today. I was super proud of them. 31/33 showed up, and everyone that showed up to take the final passed the class. Who didn't show up?

Exhibit A: The late add ghost student

Exhibit B: The one student who skipped class for a week because he "needed a break" and missed a test (20% of his grade)

A secured his F a long time ago.

B needs a 96% on the final to get a D (which is passing) in the class

The last student who showed finished the final at 3:15 (Final goes until 4:30). I figured the student took his F and left. Apparently he showed up at 3:30 and is now wandering around being a moron, because he is calling people and sending me emails. I emailed him back in three minutes telling him to come to my office and take the final. He hasn't shown up yet. I mean seriously, dude, just take your F and save me the trouble of grading something before failing you.
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I hate helicopter zombie grandparents. They are the worst.
burnie
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« Reply #5331 on: May 01, 2012, 10:54:10 pm »

Polly and other STEM profs, this made me giggle and think of you. http://imgur.com/MRhKb
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Corporate America wants people who seem like bold risk takers, but never actually do anything.  - Barney Stinson
cibolo
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« Reply #5332 on: May 02, 2012, 12:51:19 am »

The last student who showed finished the final at 3:15 (Final goes until 4:30). I figured the student took his F and left. Apparently he showed up at 3:30 and is now wandering around being a moron...

My profs usually closed exams to late-comers once the first one has been turned in, to keep the late folks from chatting up the early-birds in the hall. It seemed reasonable. Maybe I'm just mean...
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Touch not the four-thousand-year-old ceramic cat but a glove.
monita
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« Reply #5333 on: May 02, 2012, 6:21:37 am »

I'm not teaching this term, but I'm just had this maddening exchange on Facebook, and it seems to fit here.  At least you guys will understand:

Facebook Folks: Hippies shut down our mines!  They're taking our jobs!  EPA and socialism! Environmentalists hate coal miners!

Me: I'm an environmentalist, and I love coal miners - they're my family.  But I think we need to move away from coal.  It won't last forever, and there's good evidence that the environmental damage it causes is unhealthy.

FF:  Ignorant environmentalists always say that.  Where's your evidence that coal mines make you sick?  I'm not sick.

Me:  <post links to a pile of articles on Google Scholar>

FF:  These don't mean anything.  Everyone knows science changes, so therefore it's all wrong.

Me:  It does change, but that helps us avoid the wrong stuff.  Change makes science better, not worse.

FF:  That is stupid.  I know everyone in this county, and no one got sick from mining.

Me:  Anecdotes are not the same as data.  There's really strong evidence that this is bad, and we need to look for something better.

FF:  You hate coalminers! 

<bang bang bang>
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monita
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« Reply #5334 on: May 02, 2012, 10:06:12 am »

That sounds interesting, Polly.  I'm glad to hear that you got a solid discussion going - that's exactly what is needed.  We still seem to be in argument mode back home.
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llanfair
Still reading past her bedtime and Very
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Whither Canada?


« Reply #5335 on: May 02, 2012, 10:31:01 am »

The last student who showed finished the final at 3:15 (Final goes until 4:30). I figured the student took his F and left. Apparently he showed up at 3:30 and is now wandering around being a moron...

My profs usually closed exams to late-comers once the first one has been turned in, to keep the late folks from chatting up the early-birds in the hall. It seemed reasonable. Maybe I'm just mean...

That's uni policy here, for that very reason.  Ego absolvo te, Cibolo.
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Stop looking for zebras when the horse is already standing on your foot.
lohai0
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« Reply #5336 on: May 02, 2012, 10:35:21 am »

The last student who showed finished the final at 3:15 (Final goes until 4:30). I figured the student took his F and left. Apparently he showed up at 3:30 and is now wandering around being a moron...

My profs usually closed exams to late-comers once the first one has been turned in, to keep the late folks from chatting up the early-birds in the hall. It seemed reasonable. Maybe I'm just mean...

That's uni policy here, for that very reason.  Ego absolvo te, Cibolo.

Our university policy is apparently "If you ever show up during the final exam period, you get to take the final."
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I hate helicopter zombie grandparents. They are the worst.
mountainguy
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« Reply #5337 on: May 02, 2012, 2:12:44 pm »

Well, this is a new one to me . . .  I have multiple students who are not badgering me about the grades they earned, but instead are demanding that I post their semester grades RIGHT. THIS. INSTANT. So far, I've been replying to emails an in-person inquiries with a terse "grades will be posted before the university deadline next week," but I'm sorely tempted to tell the in-person inquiries that they need to knock it off.

WWTFD?
« Last Edit: May 02, 2012, 2:13:36 pm by mountainguy » Logged

You may be manly, but you cannot handle all the mosquitoes.
bioteacher
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Confused and sad. Or happy. I'm not sure...


« Reply #5338 on: May 02, 2012, 2:52:33 pm »

MG, one way I deal with this is asking them if they want a fast grade or an accurate grade. I add that quick calculations often result in errors that negatively affect outcomes.

That helps to shut them up.... at least some of them.
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Lifesaving dream crusher and member of the Real vs. Zeal club.
stanwyck
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« Reply #5339 on: May 02, 2012, 3:36:23 pm »

I cannot believe the student who received a failing grade for turning in an essay on Australian history in my American history class showed up at my office today TWICE to argue about his grade. Because he worked as hard as anyone else in the class, you see.
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