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Author Topic: Ask Mended Drum your nagging questions here; get a completely awesome answer.  (Read 147187 times)
mended_drum
Potnia theron and
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 9,477


« Reply #375 on: April 19, 2012, 11:17:55 AM »

When will this term be OVER?

Not until you've finished grading.
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"dr. mended_drum don't give a sh!t; she will chew me up like a cobra."
mended_drum
Potnia theron and
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 9,477


« Reply #376 on: April 19, 2012, 11:20:01 AM »

I recently noticed that when I pull up to the Drive-thru ATM, there is a set of instructions next to the ATM in Braille.  Am I to assume that this is for the all of the blind drivers who also have banking needs?

On that same note, why in all governmental offices in My State are there signs in English that say, in effect, "If you don't know English, follow this procedure"?!

Because everyone speaks English if you speak loud enough or use a sufficiently dignified font.  And if you disagree, you are probably a communist.
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"dr. mended_drum don't give a sh!t; she will chew me up like a cobra."
punchnpie
Have a great rabbit!
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 5,509


« Reply #377 on: April 19, 2012, 11:34:07 AM »

Why, after I've been gone for four days, is the sink full of dishes instead of in the EMPTY dishwasher?
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He's allergic to chocolate. I had to beat him.  -Tower Heist-
usukprof
Not sure he's been around long enough to really be a
Member-Moderator
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Posts: 10,607

.


« Reply #378 on: April 19, 2012, 11:47:38 AM »

Why do things hurt like the Dickens? Why not Poe, or Austen, or Woolf? Or (interthreaduality alert) Rowling?

Have you seen how long Dickens' novels are?!  It would hurt much worse to be smacked with a Dickens than an Austen, though I admit that one or two of the Rowlings would be painful as well.

I hope followup questions are permitted on this thread (I didn't see an Ask Mended Drum your nagging followup questions here thread).

Does this mean that hurt like the Tolstoy is an acceptable alternative?
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Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.  --Dean Vernon Wormer
biomancer
trying to be the person my dog thinks I am
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 11,095

CHE Fora Hazmat Team


« Reply #379 on: April 19, 2012, 12:11:49 PM »

Why do things hurt like the Dickens? Why not Poe, or Austen, or Woolf? Or (interthreaduality alert) Rowling?

Have you seen how long Dickens' novels are?!  It would hurt much worse to be smacked with a Dickens than an Austen, though I admit that one or two of the Rowlings would be painful as well.

I hope followup questions are permitted on this thread (I didn't see an Ask Mended Drum your nagging followup questions here thread).

Does this mean that hurt like the Tolstoy is an acceptable alternative?

I thought that the infliction of pain that hurts like the Tolstoy was explicitly banned under the Geneva Convention. 

<apologies to Mended_Drum if I've stepped on toes>
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Clueless people can be dangerous. The acidic environment they can spread often needs to be neutralized, and humor is basic.  - Dellaroux

I have realized that it is best to assume everyone is bonkers until they demonstrate otherwise. - ChaosByDesign
moodymoodie
Zeal vs. Real
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 2,585


« Reply #380 on: April 19, 2012, 12:20:43 PM »

Because everyone speaks English if you speak loud enough or use a sufficiently dignified font. 

This is a fabulous tagline, and I am stealing it for myself.

Will there be consequences? Will they hurt like a... Joyce?
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needfortweed
New member
*
Posts: 37


« Reply #381 on: April 19, 2012, 12:52:49 PM »

Very new here, and loving this thread.

At which point should you stop allitterating? Am I, as a professed lover of allitteration, allowed to be annoyed when I read about "mostly monumental monastic manuscripts" and how something is "built on the backs of baby bovines"?
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lohai0
Distinguished Senior Member
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Posts: 11,977


« Reply #382 on: April 19, 2012, 2:48:04 PM »

Why does the Peter Principle seem even more true in Academia than anywhere else?
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I hate helicopter zombie grandparents. They are the worst.
tinyzombie
She of the Badass Abs, and a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 15,137

elevate from this point on - chuck d


« Reply #383 on: April 19, 2012, 2:49:44 PM »

Very new here, and loving this thread.

At which point should you stop allitterating? Am I, as a professed lover of allitteration, allowed to be annoyed when I read about "mostly monumental monastic manuscripts" and how something is "built on the backs of baby bovines"?


Alliteration.

Sorry.

I too am ready to receive the reply.
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Quote from: usukprof
I think we have three of them, but the smallest one seems to be the leader.
Quote from: dolljepopp
Who needs real life when Sandra Bullock is around?
Quote from: systeme_d_
You are all my people, and I love you.
needfortweed
New member
*
Posts: 37


« Reply #384 on: April 19, 2012, 4:43:20 PM »


Alliteration.

Sorry.

I too am ready to receive the reply.

Argh, I never get that right! Maybe I should have used a more dignified font.
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dr_starbucks
Senior member
****
Posts: 487


« Reply #385 on: April 19, 2012, 4:45:10 PM »

My backyard hot tub is cold and heater is broken.   Should I use my lightsaber to heat it up, and if so, how long will it take to bring the tub to a nice warm temperature?
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formerly Lukeurig
mended_drum
Potnia theron and
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 9,477


« Reply #386 on: April 19, 2012, 7:30:02 PM »

Because everyone speaks English if you speak loud enough or use a sufficiently dignified font. 

This is a fabulous tagline, and I am stealing it for myself.

Will there be consequences? Will they hurt like a... Joyce?

You assume all consequences for the use and misuse of mended_drum's answers, including, but not limited to:  embarrassment, physical injury, mental abuse, seizure of answers or other property by the government or other agency, loss of employment, loss of privacy, loss of semi-colons, terrorist activity, acts of war, alien invasion, Mel Gibson sightings, death or dismemberment, banishment from the fora, and gout.
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"dr. mended_drum don't give a sh!t; she will chew me up like a cobra."
mended_drum
Potnia theron and
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 9,477


« Reply #387 on: April 19, 2012, 7:31:48 PM »

Why, after I've been gone for four days, is the sink full of dishes instead of in the EMPTY dishwasher?

Because a professor's elves are exactly the opposite of a shoemaker's elves.
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"dr. mended_drum don't give a sh!t; she will chew me up like a cobra."
tinyzombie
She of the Badass Abs, and a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 15,137

elevate from this point on - chuck d


« Reply #388 on: April 19, 2012, 7:37:23 PM »


Alliteration.

Sorry.

I too am ready to receive the reply.

Argh, I never get that right! Maybe I should have used a more dignified font.

Hee hee.

I like you!

I need some advice on how to clip a squirmy kitty's claws. The towel trick scares me, and ambushing her no longer works. Might mended_mom (or her esteemed offspring) have some thoughts?
Logged

Quote from: usukprof
I think we have three of them, but the smallest one seems to be the leader.
Quote from: dolljepopp
Who needs real life when Sandra Bullock is around?
Quote from: systeme_d_
You are all my people, and I love you.
malcha
Creepy Lit Critter, Undead Language Lover,
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 8,197

posting live from her FCFU


« Reply #389 on: April 19, 2012, 7:41:13 PM »

I need exactly the same advice as tinyzombie. Bookmarking in the confidence that mended_drum and _mom will solve this problem.
Logged

I mean, what's the point of killing a monster if you don't get to loot its corpse afterwards?
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