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News: Talk online about your experiences as an adjunct, visiting assistant professor, postdoc, or other contract faculty member.
 
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Author Topic: Answers and questions  (Read 807528 times)
brixton
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 3,130


« Reply #8100 on: May 04, 2012, 10:40:35 AM »

What's the Koch brothers new motto?

A bird just hit my window.
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melba_frilkins
Doing laundry.
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 17,469


« Reply #8101 on: May 04, 2012, 7:18:37 PM »

Q: I'm not quite following, tell me again why you were not able to print your paper by the deadline?

A: Be ever cognizant that it is illegal to advocate the overthrow of the government by force.
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Light up the corners of your neighborhood with disco balls matched with dancing green and violet beams.
polly_mer
practice makes perfect
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 37,443

Have you worked on that project today?


« Reply #8102 on: May 04, 2012, 8:23:47 PM »

Q: What was your advice to the students on their topic selections for the final papers?

A: Hold your arms out and always trust your cape.
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I've joined a bizarre cult called JordanCanonicalForm's Witnesses.  I have to go from door to door asking people things like, "Good evening, sir!  Do you have a moment to chat about Linear Transformations?"
bevo98
Old but
Senior member
****
Posts: 725

Dr. Pepper


« Reply #8103 on: May 05, 2012, 1:58:29 PM »

Q:  How can I get rid of this terrible body odor?

A:  Indeed, there is nothing more exciting than a two day retreat with colleagues.
Logged

How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sportin' with puppies?  Omar Little
london1
Singin' Songs of the 70s in my Car, I'm Still a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 6,883

Just for a moment I was back at school...


« Reply #8104 on: May 05, 2012, 9:47:06 PM »

Q.  Bevo, you look harried and disgusted.  Does it have naything to to do with work?

A.  It's like a no-chip manicure, except for relationships.
Logged

"Years ago my mother used to say...in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.  Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant...."
   - Elwood P. Dowd
conjugate
Compulsive punster and insatiable reader, and
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 18,778

Tends to have warped sense of humor


« Reply #8105 on: May 06, 2012, 12:09:41 AM »

Q:  So your confused student wrote an interesting term paper about Obama's re-election strategy?  What did he compare it to?

A:  Sorry, I thought he said ships, and totally misunderstood.
Logged

Unfortunately, I think conjugate gives good advice.
∀ε>0∃δ>0∋|xa|<δ⇒|(x)-(a)|<ε
bevo98
Old but
Senior member
****
Posts: 725

Dr. Pepper


« Reply #8106 on: May 06, 2012, 7:19:20 AM »

Q:  Weren't you supposed to bring chips and dip?

A:  32, 78, 1975.
Logged

How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sportin' with puppies?  Omar Little
london1
Singin' Songs of the 70s in my Car, I'm Still a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 6,883

Just for a moment I was back at school...


« Reply #8107 on: May 06, 2012, 11:22:41 AM »

Q. How old were your mom and dad when you were born and what year were you  born?

A. Charlie Chaplin may have been your dad.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2012, 11:24:51 AM by london1 » Logged

"Years ago my mother used to say...in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.  Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant...."
   - Elwood P. Dowd
bevo98
Old but
Senior member
****
Posts: 725

Dr. Pepper


« Reply #8108 on: May 06, 2012, 1:24:13 PM »

Q:  Why am I always being asked if I am a communist?

A:  Concentrate and try again.
Logged

How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sportin' with puppies?  Omar Little
london1
Singin' Songs of the 70s in my Car, I'm Still a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 6,883

Just for a moment I was back at school...


« Reply #8109 on: May 06, 2012, 4:38:52 PM »

Q. What do you suggest I do for occasional irregularity?

A. We stopped calling them "TV Dinners" some time ago.
Logged

"Years ago my mother used to say...in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.  Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant...."
   - Elwood P. Dowd
biomancer
trying to be the person my dog thinks I am
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 11,095

CHE Fora Hazmat Team


« Reply #8110 on: May 06, 2012, 8:29:54 PM »

Q:  London, I understand that you and your family decided several years ago to get rid of the television.  How has that changed the way your kids deal with pop culture?

A:  There's a hornet in here somewhere but we've lost track of it.
Logged

Clueless people can be dangerous. The acidic environment they can spread often needs to be neutralized, and humor is basic.  - Dellaroux

I have realized that it is best to assume everyone is bonkers until they demonstrate otherwise. - ChaosByDesign
london1
Singin' Songs of the 70s in my Car, I'm Still a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 6,883

Just for a moment I was back at school...


« Reply #8111 on: May 06, 2012, 9:04:50 PM »

Q. So the dean is "embedding" himself in the department. How will you break the news to the faculty?

A.  I saw "Dark Shadows" this weekend.

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"Years ago my mother used to say...in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.  Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant...."
   - Elwood P. Dowd
melba_frilkins
Doing laundry.
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 17,469


« Reply #8112 on: May 07, 2012, 12:35:26 AM »

Q: Why have you still not graded these term papers?

A: Beer, Wine, Magazines
Logged

Light up the corners of your neighborhood with disco balls matched with dancing green and violet beams.
bevo98
Old but
Senior member
****
Posts: 725

Dr. Pepper


« Reply #8113 on: May 07, 2012, 7:23:32 AM »

Q;  How do you plan to spend your sabbatical?

A:  Why yes, that is what I said. 
Logged

How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sportin' with puppies?  Omar Little
london1
Singin' Songs of the 70s in my Car, I'm Still a
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 6,883

Just for a moment I was back at school...


« Reply #8114 on: May 07, 2012, 1:08:08 PM »

Q.  Do you really think these slacks make my butt look big?

A.  There are some fish sticks in the freezer, I think.
Logged

"Years ago my mother used to say...in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.  Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant...."
   - Elwood P. Dowd
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