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Author Topic: Posting while Plastered  (Read 952663 times)
acrimone
The Red Queen's Court Assassin
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Posts: 4,018

I am not a professor at all, despite what I say.


« on: October 07, 2006, 1:43:28 AM »

Greetings all!

I just helped -- well, considerably MORE than helped -- my wife polish off two bottles of magnificent white, both from Melville.  The first was one of their estate Viogners, which was fantastic.  The second was a super limited release Chardonnay -- unoaked -- that was simply fantabulous.

The point is that I'm drunk off my ass and I'm censoring myself in all the threads below, so I thought I'd start a thread where people could post whatever crossed their minds... so long as they were drunk.

THAT IS THE RULE: No posting unless you're plastered.  Or at least tipsy.

May this thread live long and thrive, just like a Kaiser commercial.  Or a Vulcan who forgot his lines.
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"All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
gennimom
Somewhat Southern (Have I really posted that much?)
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Let's get summer over with! Me want snow!


« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2006, 1:50:07 AM »

Does being doped up on lortab and phenergan count?
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...only after reading gm's post, my new mantra is "always listen to gennimom".
Monday reeks! - Garfield
The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person (or something like that).
acrimone
The Red Queen's Court Assassin
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 4,018

I am not a professor at all, despite what I say.


« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2006, 1:56:21 AM »

Nope.  Has to be alcohol.

Go away. :)
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"All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
gennimom
Somewhat Southern (Have I really posted that much?)
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 18,467

Let's get summer over with! Me want snow!


« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2006, 2:54:35 AM »

Oh well.
*sniff*
I don't drink, anyway. I don't get drunk, I just get sick, so it wouldn't work.
Bye
*sniff*
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...only after reading gm's post, my new mantra is "always listen to gennimom".
Monday reeks! - Garfield
The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person (or something like that).
voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
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Posts: 23,026

Has potentially infinite removable wallets


WWW
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2006, 2:50:15 PM »

Dang! I am some hours away from being able to participate in this thread.

In the interim I will offer one of my favorite nightcaps:

In a cordial glass, combine:
- 3 parts chocolate-flavored vodka, ice cold
- 2 parts Kahlua (Especial if you can get it)
- 1 part vanilla nut flavoring (I like vanilla hazelnut or vanilla macadamia nut)

Stir well with a swizzle stick.

VP
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science_expat
Science Expat. Just pretending to be a somewhat
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Posts: 6,021


« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2006, 7:16:44 PM »

It's midnight here in the UK and I've had a few beers, so marginally fit the criterion (I'm not "plastered" however).

We've had some news articles on equipping mobile phones with breath analyzers - primarily to deter drunk driving but with the additional benefit of deterring/preventing drunk texting.

Sometimes I think that a breath analyzer on my email would be a good thing...
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"Continue to speak truth to power and try to provoke evidence-based debate and decision-making. The holders of power will not like it and your career trajectory will not rise as high as you wish, but you will retain your professional integrity and the respect of those people whom you also respect."
ablewasi
Senior member
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Posts: 627


« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2006, 8:17:05 PM »

Acrimone, old pal.  Have I ever been waiting for this thread!  Ive been wanting to post here since this morning, but unlike some other people, I abide by your rule of being at least tipsy (I know that you reserve the right to dispense indulgences in suitable situations, but I would never ask for such from you, old pal.)  Actually, Im a bit more than tipsy right now, but far from plastered.  To show my commitment to your worthy solicitation, I will post ONLY from the back booth of a sleazy bar.  If the thread lives long and prospers enough, maybe I can introduce you to the bartender and some of the (other) drunks here, but right now, Ive to order another drink.   Hey, Mitzi
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- I have seen the future and the fix is in -
pedant
Member
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Posts: 167


« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2006, 9:13:18 PM »

Thanks to a previous thread which gladdens my heart, I am now sobering up.

Nevertheless, this is a most worthy thread, and I salute my fellow inebriates and all their intoxicants.

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Pedant
ablewasi
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Posts: 627


« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2006, 12:22:51 AM »

Could some one please settle an argument.  I say that you're plastered if you're leaning against a wall, and then you're lying on the floor without the transitional "sliding down the wall" part.  Mitzi says that if you can tell the difference between the wall and the floor, you're not plastered.
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- I have seen the future and the fix is in -
gennimom
Somewhat Southern (Have I really posted that much?)
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 18,467

Let's get summer over with! Me want snow!


« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2006, 1:59:49 AM »

I'm not drunk, but I'm feeling very good from my pain pills. Forgive me.

My husband has an acquaintance of the state of which you speak. He says:

If you can tell the difference between the wall and the floor, but don't care which one you're touching, you are "comfortably numb," and you are one good drink from being plastered. Plastered is that state when you are lying on the floor in a pool of your own drool (or puke, whichever you prefer).
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...only after reading gm's post, my new mantra is "always listen to gennimom".
Monday reeks! - Garfield
The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person (or something like that).
ablewasi
Senior member
****
Posts: 627


« Reply #10 on: October 09, 2006, 10:03:06 PM »

I dont know, some guy was talking about his friend who had a picture of Robert E. Lee or something in his office and then everybody started yelling and throwing stuff.  Next thing I know, Im picking broken glass out of my hair and someones asking me how many fingers theyre holding up.  You got an icepack or something.  Noan icepack not an ice pick.  Freshen this up for me, will ya hon?
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- I have seen the future and the fix is in -
voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 23,026

Has potentially infinite removable wallets


WWW
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2006, 11:10:25 PM »

OK, I am now ready to go. I have just had one martini and am about to make another, heh heh heh.

Vodka, of course. Gin martinis are for losers (and gerontophiles).

Is there anyone else who will post with me in my drunken state, or am I left to my own devices? Crazybatlady? Where are you when I need you?

VP
(Vodka Principalis)
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doctormommy
Senior member
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Posts: 251


« Reply #12 on: October 11, 2006, 11:31:51 PM »

Hey Vod Prince,

I just had a White Russian...or was it an Estonian?  after finishing up a 36 hour experiment.
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ablewasi
Senior member
****
Posts: 627


« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2006, 11:42:35 PM »

OK, I am now ready to go. I have just had one martini and am about to make another, heh heh heh.

Vodka, of course. Gin martinis are for losers (and gerontophiles).

Is there anyone else who will post with me in my drunken state, or am I left to my own devices? Crazybatlady? Where are you when I need you?

VP
(Vodka Principalis)




I tried to stay away.  I logged off.  I brushed my teeth. I checked the posts once more.  I saw the statement.  I logged on.  I took a drink. And, now...

Martinis are made with gin, not vodka.  Old people know this.  Young people know this.  Cute furry dogs hiding under cars in a cold and rainy night while a little girl cries softly in her mother's arms know this.

Vodka and vermouth is a fortified wine cooler.

A
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- I have seen the future and the fix is in -
voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
*****
Posts: 23,026

Has potentially infinite removable wallets


WWW
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2006, 6:09:01 AM »

Did I say vermouth was involved anywhere?

Vermouth is only for Real Martinis, whether of the gin or vodka variety. Unlike you, Ablewasi, I am open-minded enough to say that gin-martini-drinkers -- while being of course completely wrong-thinking and evidently having taste buds that need to be run over by a truck in order to register anything -- do have the right to call their concoctions martinis. The fact that historically the first martinis were made with gin means nothing; the first wheels were probably square, too, and look where that got Og and Krog -- nowhere, that's where. Maybe that's why they got eaten by dinosaurs.

Last night, however, I was in the mood for a defiantly (eggcorn on purpose) Girly Martini, which will probably make you shudder even more. Girly Martinis have no vermouth, as its nasty, tongue-numbing taste gets in the way of such delicate ingredients as Chambord, Grand Marnier, Apple Pucker, Godiva liqueur, Kahlua, creme de cacao, and other delicious delectables. (No, I did not have all of those in my drink at once.)

Also, vermouth gives me a headache the next day, which is not good when you have to be up at 5:30 the morning after.

I know, I am not a martini purist. But the glasses are such fun!

VP
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