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[alohafromhere]

In my ten++ years of teaching, this semester I have the worst class I've ever had.  I'm a little desperate.  I need suggestions, help, strategies, anything to get through this.  Here's the skinny:
1 - It's a once a week night class, Thursdays.  Everyone seems half dead.  Including me.
2 - It's a required gateway course for our majors, but due to years of crappy administration, the course has never been listed as a prerequisite.  Therefore, students can take the damn class at any point in their coursework.  So I have a class that is half jaded seniors, part clueless freshmen, with a few oddball sophomores/juniors in between.
3 - In this particular class of about 20 students, there are the following characters, and I do not exaggerate: one active heroin addict who puts her head on the table and sleeps through class, or sits limp in her chair with a crazy happy smirk; one Autism spectrum student prone to non sequitur blurts or long stretches of time facing the wall and mumbling; a woman who believes whatever she writes will manifest itself in reality, so therefore she is clairvoyant and reminds us of this weekly; another woman, middle aged, who misses class because her new teeth hurt, and when she's in class declares with venom that every piece of literature she doesn't get on first read is "Stupid"; the kid who missed a couple weeks because of a DUI and now that he's back is just completely stoned and slack jawed (literally); the really smart kid who will not talk at all; and, the home-schooled kid who worships Ms. Manifest Destiny, and swears Ms. M.D. really *can* tell the future.
4 - This course is way out of my field, and I teach on a wing and a prayer every week.  I'm giving lectures and leading discussion on literary theory and interpretation and seriously have out of body experiences every week.  I hear myself talk, and think: oh yeah, really? 
5 - Because of the makeup of this class, half of the students completely stoned or bonkers, doing group work is tragically impossible.  Discussions are surreal.  I'm contemplating showing videos every week and hate myself for even thinking of that.
I really don't know what to do with this class.  I'd like to divide it -- crazy kids, first half; sane kids, second half.  The sane kids are getting a crap deal, honestly.  The crazy kids -- sorry to be so blunt about it -- really need IEPs and classroom aides, but oh this is college and we don't do that. 
Any suggestions really really welcome.

[icicles]

Wow--other than "keep writing about it because I'm intrigued and love a good crazy story" I don't have a lot of advice.

I have taught a similar class, and even with "normal" students, theory classes can feel surreal. Film clips can work well,especially when paired with a series of specific questions on a handout to keep the class on track during the film: "What is postmodern about X?" etc. I've noticed that my students are tempted to bring in outside anecdotes more in this kind of class ("why yes, I have had experiences with gender!"), so I let them talk for a little while, then steer things back.

In diverse classes like this, it can be helpful to have each student prepare something before or at the beginning of class, like a discussion question, and then make an effort to call on the non-weird students regularly.

With a theory class this long, I'd do short workshoppy activities and allow students the option of working independently or in groups. (Example: write a paragraph that takes a position on whether Y is a feminist poem). They get practice and you get a few solid answers to go on.

That's all I can think of for now...I think my own evening class just needs a lot of food.

[alohafromhere]

Theory is surreal, that's true.  I've been doing the discussion question thing, and it kind of works.  I have to do end runs around questions like: "Isn't this novel really nonfiction because the writer is saying "I" all the time?"  And the smart kids sit there just tired and fed up and I really don't blame them.

Workshopping may work -- I'm trying one tomorrow on a paper, and we shall see.

This is one of those semesters when I am just counting the weeks.  I hate that.  I'm usually a really good teacher and this is soul-crushingly awful.  But hey, only 11 weeks left.

[archman]

Are you allowed to flunk as many people as you want?

[snowbound]

Is it too late for students to drop the class?  If not, encourage those who are truly out  of it to consider dropping, to protect their GPA. Do you have a midterm coming up?  If so, make it tough, flunk a bunch of people, and make it clear that getting an overall passing grade will be unlikely.  The more you can trim the deadwood, the more you will be able to focus on those who are there to learn. 

[spectacle]

Oh, aloha, that sucks.  I have classes like this and sometimes I cancel a class period and hold one-on-one conferences with each student to talk about how they're doing so far.

I take that chance to let the stoners/drunks/people way out of their depth that they're probably not going to be able to pass for these reasons...

And I let the loonies know that their contributions need to have to do with the material at hand, not their telekinesis/that time they were abducted, etc.  I let them know that from now on, any time they're veering into the surreal, I'm going to cut them off.

I try to work with the students on the spectrum to help them assimilate better to the culture of the classroom ("If I hold up my pointer finger, that's our sign that you have to stop what you're doing or saying.  If you're not able to stop, you need to quietly go out into the hall and take as long a break as you need.")

And finally, it's my chance to have some one-on-one with the excellent students and to let them know: "You're ahead of some of the other folks in the class in terms of getting the hang of this material.  I might ask you to contribute more so that you can help your classmates along."

Checking in with each student individually could give you a better sense of what they're actually thinking - you can suss out some of the quieter students, too.

Also, I'm having a lot of luck with feeding my once-a-week night class. That might not be economically feasible for you, with 20 students, but you could check to see if there are any department funds available.  I bring mine sodas and cookies, or chips.  Basically I jack them up on sugar and salt to get more energy out of them.  YMMV. 

[jeffahall]

Any suggestions really really welcome.

Take careful notes.  This sounds like screenplay gold.

[zuzu_]

Actually, this class sounds like it has the potential to be pretty fun. Don't give up on the small group work, and I think it's perfectly fine to group the wackos with the wackos.

As you teach, just keep thinking about how fun it will be to tell the fora/your colleagues/your SO about what happened in class.

PM me with your email if you want some good exercises for introductory literary theory. I teach intro to lit at a CC, and I've got some good ideas that work well with "motley crews."

[alohafromhere]

Are you allowed to flunk as many people as you want?

No, unfortunately.  We are caught between these messages: "Too many A's" and "Too many C's, D's, and F's."  So, okay, everyone gets a B?  I have no idea.

Take careful notes.  This sounds like screenplay gold.

Angelina Jolie plays the clairvoyant, Brad Pitt the spectrum guy; the home schooled kid is so right for Kirsten Dunst; the stoner kids are South Park cartoons; new teeth woman is Margo Martindale.  And I'm played by, oh, either Gary Oldman or Meryl Streep.  I'm so seeing this.

Oh, aloha, that sucks.  I have classes like this and sometimes I cancel a class period and hold one-on-one conferences with each student to talk about how they're doing so far....I try to work with the students on the spectrum to help them assimilate better to the culture of the classroom ("If I hold up my pointer finger, that's our sign that you have to stop what you're doing or saying.  If you're not able to stop, you need to quietly go out into the hall and take as long a break as you need.")...And finally, it's my chance to have some one-on-one with the excellent students and to let them know: "You're ahead of some of the other folks in the class in terms of getting the hang of this material.  I might ask you to contribute more so that you can help your classmates along."

All really great advice -- thank you. the student on the spectrum is brilliant half the time, and it would be so great to find a way for him to reliably tap into that.  He's pretty aware of his issues when he's 'on' but when he's out there, not so much.  I do like the idea a lot of conferences.  Really good idea. I feel less bonkers already -- thank you all for the good suggestions.  Updates as the semester goes along...!

[brixton]

If it's just once a week, plan on self-medicating after the class, soldier through and brainstorm on what needs to change if you teach the class again.  One bonkers class due to administrative neglect is excuseable.  Teaching something with so many extraneous roadblocks more than once is an indication that you may not be totally sane, yourself.

[melba_frilkins]

Remember:

a) This will make you stronger and better.

b) Experiences like this make you appreciate, rather than get bored by, "normal" classes.

[prof_cj]

While I've never had a class THAT bad, I have had somewhat similar classes.

The only thing I've found to really get them focused has been to truly descend into madness. Chronic sleepers in class? Guess who gets a stack of books slammed down next their head? People like to publicly decry the readings as "stupid" when they don't want to do the work? Looks like someone is going to get singled out by the instructor to explain WHY to everyone. Every time.

[systeme_d_]

Any suggestions really really welcome.

Take careful notes.  This sounds like screenplay gold.

Unfortunately, in the screenplay, Aloha will have to teach the students to understand and love Beowulf - and one another - by encouraging them to create a rap version of the story that wins first prize at the state-wide "Rappin' the Classics" competition.

[mountainguy]

Unfortunately, in the screenplay, Aloha will have to teach the students to understand and love Beowulf - and one another - by encouraging them to create a rap version of the story that wins first prize at the state-wide "Rappin' the Classics" competition.

My 10th grade English teacher introduced Beowulf using a George Thorogood and the Destroyers parody ("B-b-b-beowulf bad---b-b-ad to to the bone"). That teacher was a jerk.

[systeme_d_]

Unfortunately, in the screenplay, Aloha will have to teach the students to understand and love Beowulf - and one another - by encouraging them to create a rap version of the story that wins first prize at the state-wide "Rappin' the Classics" competition.

My 10th grade English teacher introduced Beowulf using a George Thorogood and the Destroyers parody ("B-b-b-beowulf bad---b-b-ad to to the bone"). That teacher was a jerk.

What a shocker, MG.