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[hegemony]

I'm unclear on the prospects for the TT job.  (Maybe this is clear from another thread; if so, apologies.)  Are you in the middle of interviewing for a specific position?  Do you know for certain that that position starts in mid-August?  As others have said, most semesters start later.

Incidentally, I dutifully showed up for my new-faculty orientation, along with about 2/3 of the other new faculty, and it was clear that no one would have noticed if we hadn't been there.  We wouldn't have missed much, either.  It was mostly a lot of droning about insurance choices.

[msparticularity]

I'm unclear on the prospects for the TT job.  (Maybe this is clear from another thread; if so, apologies.)  Are you in the middle of interviewing for a specific position?  Do you know for certain that that position starts in mid-August?  As others have said, most semesters start later.

I think this is a dangerous generalization; an enormous number of semesters will begin on either the 20th or the 27th this year. This means that faculty obligations on campus will often begin a week earlier, and new faculty may be required to report for orientation a week before that. Often, the contract begins on August 15 and we are technically required to be available as of that date.

Merce, I feel your pain--truly. My only brother got married just after I began my current position in 2008, 2000 miles and a 19-hour trip (each way) away due to my current remote location. I was not there.

[hegemony]

A spot check: Indiana University begins August 20; U. of Michigan begins Sept. 4; Colorado State begins August 22; U. of Nevada at Reno August 27; Bowdoin, August 30; University of Arkansas, August 20; University of Central Florida, August 20; University of Minnesota Twin Cities, Sept. 4.

But you may have a particular university in mind, Merce.  Have you checked their schedule?

[merce]

My prospects for a new TT are extremely slim: I did a phone interview last week and it was their start dates that started me panicking. I am still applying for positions. I read a new ad that specified they expect the new faculty member to be on campus the 15th, the contract starts the 15th. This sort of language was probably in the ads for jobs before but now that I have reason for concern the dates are jumping out at me.

I'm in an MLA field so the bulk of the TT jobs have gone to others this year.

There is also a really amazing postdoc that would make me very happy and improve my CV inmeasurably. I sent in the application end January and hope to hear something beginning of March.  The chances of my getting it are slim but that campus starts later.

Maybe I should skip the Euro conference in order to save up for the wedding. I'll need to get them a gift too!
I think I'm going to start hyperventilating.
I broke down in tears more than once today.
Maybe this is about something deeper...
Perhaps I need to ask Spencer Tracy

[chickpea]

If you can even make it, showing up (costly plane ticket, accommodations, possible negotiation of your early semester) is your gift.   You can always give them something material later if you choose.

[glowdart]

If you can even make it, showing up (costly plane ticket, accommodations, possible negotiation of your early semester) is your gift.   You can always give them something material later if you choose.

Absolutely.

[spork]

If they refuse to change the date, I would visit the soon-to-be-newlyweds earlier in the summer, when you can combine the trip with archival research and not miss the beginning of the semester, regardless of where you might be working at the time.

I've been in similar positions when friends and relatives have gotten married -- thousands of miles away, little money. I did not go to the weddings and have not regretted it, mainly because I was able to see the couples prior to or after the wedding, and it was quality time. At weddings no one gets to spend much time with anyone else, unless the wedding party arrives several days before the ceremony. Plus there's a lot of stress.

Your brother should be thinking of a second wedding-type event in the USA. That's the norm for international marriages these days. I lucked out since my wife's immediate family was already in the USA. If her parents had not been present, we would have done a wedding in her native land. No big deal.

[larryc]

I don't see that you have a decision to make right now. If you land a TT job, you almost certainly cannot go to the wedding. And that is OK--you can plan a trip to France anytime within the next year and take the new couple out to a fancy dinner or something. Or you can go to his next wedding. (Sorry.) Really, given the circumstances it would be fine. And surely your brother and new bride will be stateside for some kind of reception event in the next year?

If you don't get a job offer, you can go to the wedding. If you can afford to, that is.

So the decision is out of your hands for now. Right?

[merce]

My contract has not been renewed for next year.

Well, my life has more twists than Downtown Abbey!

Guess I'll sit tight and see what happens.
My mother and I are the only family here in the US. Most of our family is in Colombia. So there is no plan for the bridal couple to do a reception here in the US. In fact, I doubt they will even come here any time soon. They were supposed to come to the US for Christmas but they backed out last minute. They will likely go to Colombia before coming to the US in August 2013.