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[argyle]

No, not sex.

Smoking marijuana? Drinking at the bar? Going to frat parties? Other?

Are there any qualities of the student that would make a difference, such as age, status (undergrad/grad), relationship with prof (RA, TA), etc?



-Argyle

[neutralname]

It's OK if they are wearing a nice sweater and matching socks. 

[bevo98]

Certainly not undergraduates, unless, of course, they are the age of your mom.  In some instances graduate students, but always in public and, if possible, in groups.  Probably not anything illegal either, no matter how cool you or they are....

[ex_mo]

Someone I know regularly buys pot from one of his (cc) students. 

[prof_smartypants]

We live in a very small college town, where students and faculty and grad students and staff all drink in the same 2-3 bars. Occasionally we go out as a group of faculty, and students will sometimes join us.

I see nothing wrong with this as long as the students are of age.

However, I have a colleague or two who will take their undergrad or grad students out for a beer on their own. I don't think this is necessarily wrong, but it invites speculation that I would rather not have focused on my department. A beer to thank a research assistant at the end of a semester, or submission of an honors thesis? Sure. A Tuesday lunchtime beer with your opposite-sex undergrad TA? Meh.

In such cases, sometimes the perception of what is going on is stronger than the reality. And if you live in a town like I do, everyone knows everyone, and everyone's talking.

Pot, no way. Nothing illegal. But I know colleagues who buy from their students, too. Dumb-asses.

[reener06]

We live in a very small college town, where students and faculty and grad students and staff all drink in the same 2-3 bars. Occasionally we go out as a group of faculty, and students will sometimes join us.

I see nothing wrong with this as long as the students are of age.

However, I have a colleague or two who will take their undergrad or grad students out for a beer on their own. I don't think this is necessarily wrong, but it invites speculation that I would rather not have focused on my department. A beer to thank a research assistant at the end of a semester, or submission of an honors thesis? Sure. A Tuesday lunchtime beer with your opposite-sex undergrad TA? Meh.

In such cases, sometimes the perception of what is going on is stronger than the reality. And if you live in a town like I do, everyone knows everyone, and everyone's talking.

Pot, no way. Nothing illegal. But I know colleagues who buy from their students, too. Dumb-asses.

I agree with prof_smartypants. When I was in college, a small town with only a handful of places to eat/drink, my prof (opposite sex) did occasionally take me to lunch, and occasionally, when I was of drinking age, we had beers. BUT, this was always with his wife, who was my other prof. I watched their kid and worked in their lab, and they were trying to groom me in a way for going to graduate school/becoming a professional. It made me feel more natural in grad school when I hung out with professors, b/c I could see they were human. And I learned valuable information from them about grad school.

But again, it was with both of them. I would have felt very uncomfortable just going with him at that age. Now, at conferences, we occasionally get a beer, but that's different. I'm 20 years older, married, a colleague now more than a student.

[mended_drum]

Once upon a time, a faculty member would invite a class, even an undergraduate class, over for dinner or a sedate party and serve wine and food, and it was a lovely way to end a semester.  I have extremely fond memories of being the undergraduate at a couple of such events, and when I first came to SLAC several older colleagues still held such end-of-term gatherings.

No more.

One student dying while driving on the way home, having had a couple of glasses of wine at what a lawyer can argue is a "college event" and the lawsuits will break us all.

What saddens me is that I never remember students misbehaving.  No one got drunk or loud; we were all trying to emulate the "grown-ups" in the room who demonstrated how to have a pleasant evening without getting trashed.  My students can't experience that anymore.

[arizona]

When I did a semester abroad, the profs would often join the class at a bar in the early evening, after class. This was in a country with a lower drinking age, so there were no legal issues at play. It was a great way for everyone to know each other and it never felt seedy--no one got drunk and everyone hung out in a big group.  

As an upperclassman, I also attended the occasional class dinner at a faculty home where wine was served. All my schooling took place in cities, though, so no one was driving.

[itried]

Colleagues who buy pot from students?! Oh my God. The human capacity for compartmentalization amazes me; i.e., being smart in some areas, and incredibly idiotic in others.

[oldfullprof]

I love compartmentalization.  It's why our grandparents went from farm to city.  Bring on the valley of the dolls, I say.  Hell is a small town. 

[prof_smartypants]

Colleagues who buy pot from students?! Oh my God. The human capacity for compartmentalization amazes me; i.e., being smart in some areas, and incredibly idiotic in others.

See for me, this type of behavior makes me question these colleagues in other aspects of their life, as well. If you are OK buying pot from a student, you're probably OK having sex with one, having parties at your place where students get drunk, etc.

This is why I mentioned the importance of perceptions in my previous post. We are supposed to be mentors, not buddies. Does the line get crossed? Sure, but we should at least TRY to maintain some kind of distance.

[bevo98]

Colleagues who buy pot from students?! Oh my God. The human capacity for compartmentalization amazes me; i.e., being smart in some areas, and incredibly idiotic in others.

See for me, this type of behavior makes me question these colleagues in other aspects of their life, as well. If you are OK buying pot from a student, you're probably OK having sex with one, having parties at your place where students get drunk, etc.

This is why I mentioned the importance of perceptions in my previous post. We are supposed to be mentors, not buddies. Does the line get crossed? Sure, but we should at least TRY to maintain some kind of distance.

Indeed.  Maybe the pot guy is committing professional suicide?  I agree, we are not their buddies. I often find myself alone when I say it is disingenuous for us to call them our colleagues (you know the whole leadership crap thing)

[plasmodesmata]

When I did a semester abroad, the profs would often join the class at a bar in the early evening, after class. This was in a country with a lower drinking age, so there were no legal issues at play. It was a great way for everyone to know each other and it never felt seedy--no one got drunk and everyone hung out in a big group.  

As an upperclassman, I also attended the occasional class dinner at a faculty home where wine was served. All my schooling took place in cities, though, so no one was driving.

A major PI at my doctorate institution held his weekly lab meetings at the on-campus bar. He bought the first pitcher. I was included because a large portion of my work was done on equipment in his lab. We looked forward to those Friday afternoon lab meetings all week!

[ex_mo]

Colleagues who buy pot from students?! Oh my God. The human capacity for compartmentalization amazes me; i.e., being smart in some areas, and incredibly idiotic in others.

See for me, this type of behavior makes me question these colleagues in other aspects of their life, as well. If you are OK buying pot from a student, you're probably OK having sex with one, having parties at your place where students get drunk, etc.

This is why I mentioned the importance of perceptions in my previous post. We are supposed to be mentors, not buddies. Does the line get crossed? Sure, but we should at least TRY to maintain some kind of distance.

Indeed.  Maybe the pot guy is committing professional suicide?  I agree, we are not their buddies. I often find myself alone when I say it is disingenuous for us to call them our colleagues (you know the whole leadership crap thing)

Just to be clear, my example is not of someone at my uni, but someone I know who lives thousands of miles away from me and is just a friend.  Hell, he's not even a sociologist.  That kind of crap is probably expected of us.  His rationale is that most of his students are adults (he works at an urban cc).  He has befriended several of his students who come to his house (which he shares with his wife and kids) for dinner or to help him nail up drywall or whatever project he has going on.

[macaroon]

Oh yeah - buying weed or other drugs from students is a never-ever.  IMO, that's worse than having sex with them.  The gray areas with relationships are a mile wide, but the drug purchases?  There's no gray area there.