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[egilson]

A couple of years ago, I watched a big, butch guy who was a senior in my freshman survey class (outside his field, and a requirement he was taking in his last semester) as he did his required five-minute presentation. The presentation was nicely prepared, and his delivery was clear, enthusiastic, and direct. As I looked at him from the side of the room, though, I could see that his hands were shaking so hard that he could barely hold his notes. Fortunately, he had practiced enough that he didn't need to read them much. Did he earn some brownie points for that presentation that the person in the class who said, "Oh, I would be too scared," and was allowed to do something else missed? You betcha.

[polly_mer]

As much as I love presentation (my elementary school plays were very helpful), I want to whine about my current Flakey Strikes Again moments.

I have a student taking a class with me for the third time and one for the second time.  I post the answers to the homework every term.  Googling for "answer key <our textbook>" brings up the publisher-supplied answer key in short order and I've seen print-outs in previous terms indicating that students found that key (that's why I only started grading homework upon arm-twisting by the chair).  Guess who is not doing all that well on the homework.  Guess who are the people who have missed the most class so far, despite bombing the quizzes and tests last time they took the class.  Go ahead, guess.

[bioteacher]

Guess who are the people who have missed the most class so far, despite bombing the quizzes and tests last time they took the class.  Go ahead, guess.

Um.... you. It must be you, Polly. You've had so many other commitments and volunteer opportunities to take advantage of, and you already know this stuff, having had the keys provided to you in past years, that you just can't yourself motivated to do the homework this term. It's far more fun to lie on your lounge chair and have the cabana boys serenade you.

[mended_drum]

What is a retroactive drop?  I've never heard of this.

[scienceprof]

We have retroactive drops, but forks for some catastrophe that kept a student from finishing, like a sudden major illness.  The idea is that sometime they can come back, and it is like they never took the class-no F or W on the transcript. However, this is a dean (or higher) decision, not up to the profs

[history_grrrl]

Oh, my god. Yes.

I'm teaching a small-group course for graduating fourth-year students. We meet once a week for 2 1/2 hours or so. Each week, two of them co-facilitate the discussion. They have to provide me with a polished overview and list of discussion questions ahead of time. I'm usually worried about the pair that signs up first, because if they're terrible, they set a bad precedent. To my everlasting joy, the first facilitators were amazing. Their overview was brilliant; they not only understood the readings but drew connections between them. Their questions were fabulous. I praised them to the skies and told the class they were a model to follow. I forwarded their prepared material to the whole class. I made sure everyone had my handout on tips for facilitating a discussion. Yay!

Fast forward a couple of weeks. The two worst students in the class are co-facilitating. One of them is this exchange student who failed a class with me last term because he went home for vacation instead of taking the final exam. The stuff they sent me ahead of time was total crap. They had no understanding of the articles they read. Their questions were randomly plucked out of their butts. After getting my feedback, they made things worse. Between the two of them, they probably said about 200 words during the entire discussion (after reading their "overview" in a droning monotone). They acted like they were on drugs. It was a stunning display of total incompetence.

The materials I got from this week's upcoming presenters are so filled with grammatical errors that they were practically unreadable. These are students who are supposed to be graduating. I'm ready to tear my hair out.

I am grading this group's first papers right now, and I am not being generous. I'm looking at these papers and thinking, "You're about to get a BA, and you can't put a f***ing sentence together?"

[bioteacher]

I am grading this group's first papers right now, and I am not being generous. I'm looking at these papers and thinking, "You're about to get a BA, and you can't put a f***ing sentence together?"

I sometimes console myself with this thought: If these creatures can get jobs, I will never have to worry about finding gainful employment.

The rest of the time, I just whimper and weep.

[zharkov]

I have a flake who is also charming, and probably was able to charm through a lot prior to grad school.   Over the last year or two.....

1. Dropped a course after add drop, "forget" to officially drop, had to use up some of my "cred points" to get the dean to allow the late drop.

2. Ran out of time to do a final paper, got a one term extension, still no paper, grade becomes an F and the requirement to re-take the course with a passing grade.  Flakes out about taking the course the next time it is offered.  Asks if the paper submitted now (more than a year late) will turn the grade from F to pass.   (Obviously does not get the concept of an extension.)  Nope, you really do need to take the course again.

3.  Interested in new curriculum, would need to take "Basketweaving 700" next term.  Asks about us counting a non-credit workshop from 2 or 3 years ago that we ran on Basketweaving in its place.  (Like I expect a lot of schools, we sometimes test out ideas in non-credit workshops, some of the content making its way into actual courses later on.) 

[prof_cj]

I am grading this group's first papers right now, and I am not being generous. I'm looking at these papers and thinking, "You're about to get a BA, and you can't put a f***ing sentence together?"

Story of my life sometimes.

[glowdart]

I am grading this group's first papers right now, and I am not being generous. I'm looking at these papers and thinking, "You're about to get a BA, and you can't put a f***ing sentence together?"

Story of my life sometimes.

The story that I tell myself to comfort myself is that they are trying to see how little work they can do and still pass; thus, when they fail their first paper with me, they will then display that they do know how to write a complete sentence on their next paper.

[itried]

egilson, your story warms me. How sweet, truly.

[rebelgirl]

I was going to post this on the "favorite emails" thread, but I think you folks will feel my pain with Miss Princess's second go-round.....

Here we go.  First, the student’s email:

“Dr Rebel – I turned in my Rough Draft with a note under the door to the English Depart. at 4:05 today. I would have been there before the 4pm deadline but my printer was freaking out and rearranging the format of my paper. I know this does you no good because you do not have this physical copy but it was finished on time and I am attatching it in a word.doc anyhow. [Staff person in another department down the hall] was still in her office at the time I came in and I borrowed a pen from her. I forgot to give her my name, but if you ask if a girl borrowed a pen from her around 4:05/10, it was me!  - Miss Princess”

Context:  Drafts of final papers due yesterday in Comp II.  Syllabus, draft guidelines, and CMS all said the same thing:  “hard copy only, 4 p.m., no exceptions, no excuses.”  [Long story short, we require a drop dead deadline on the draft so that we have time to comment adequately, given our CC’s very large class sizes, and because students who can’t commit to a draft by this point in the quarter typically don’t pass the course – better withdraw and try again than 0.0 on transcript. We don’t accept drafts on CMS b/c we all got sick of the games – students turning in unopenable files to buy time, etc.]

Last quarter, Miss Princess had to withdraw after missing the draft deadline.  Then she claimed she had a draft and emailed it to me despite the course rule; the file was unopenable and she never did produce a hard copy.  This quarter, Miss Princess re-enrolled.  Though she’s doing the same paper topic, she has so far earned only 53% of course points and missed almost half of class meetings.  I was locking the door to the composition office suite at 4:05, so she’s lying about her drop off time.   And I note that her email takes no responsibility for her screwing up – again.  This time, file is openable, though, and Miss P met the length minimum – barely.

If I give her a pass on this, it’s unfair to all the students in my two comp sections who got the draft in on time – and that’s every single one except Miss Princess.  One young mother had to take her kid to the doctor but showed up an hour before deadline with the paper – she’d printed out her earlier draft as a just in case.  Another student had a computer meltdown in the morning and rewrote the entire draft in time.  And on and on.  We’re in the 8th week of the quarter & students have been working in steps on their topics since almost the beginning.

Miss Princess needs this class to graduate and would have to retake it as an overload next quarter.  Her advisor is sick of dealing with her. I am sick of dealing with her.  I am already weary contemplating the fight that is coming, the appeal to admins, the “oh come on, just dock her paper and let her go on”s.  I’m thinking that I could accept the paper, dock it for lateness (at a grade off per day late, which is the course policy for late work on other assignments, it’s at best a 60%).  I did some quick calculations and realized that in the unlikely event that she earns all possible points (high stakes final paper, final presentation, assorted exercises) from here on out, she could still earn a 2.2 in the class. But given her track record, she almost certainly won’t earn a transferable grade.

What I’d love to do is have her address each of my class sections and explain why – though she’s taking the class the 2nd time and could have just printed out & handed in, on time this time, the draft she claimed she had a quarter ago - she should get a special break that none of them did, then let each section vote, and let the majority prevail.  I doubt she’d get much sympathy, particularly in the section she’s enrolled in – her group project classmates didn’t even put her name on their finished product since she didn’t do jack.  Of course, I can’t do this, I know. 

What would the forum do?  Hold the line and flunk her now, or avoid the b*tching, accept the draft with 4 grades off for lateness, and let her go on, as she will almost certainly do, to earn at best a non-transferable grade?  My inclination is to stick to the policy out of fairness to the others….just dreading the sequel.

[skeptical]

Stick to your guns--it's only fair to the other students. Isn't it time she learned that she isn't as special as she thinks she is?

[pedanterast]

A deadline is not a goal.

[ptarmigan]

To me (with my very limited teaching experience) it seems like more hassle than it's worth to refuse the paper. If you just apply the penalty and move on, she'll likely fail anyway, it sounds like.