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[taltalim]

I received a rejection letter today which was signed by one of my regular recommendation letter writers, which is, though awkward, perhaps not unique in a small world like academia. How do I handle this situation gracefully?

The SCC is my former postdoc supervisor; neither of us is any longer at the institution where we met. I knew she was on the SC for this job, because she had told me that she could not write a letter in support of this particular application. I did not know, however, that she was actually the SCC. I refrained from any contact with her between then and now, but I am going to apply for a few more positions for which her recommendation would be very important.
I want to contact her tomorrow. Do I mention this unsuccessful application and the rejection letter at all? I would, of course, not ask about details re. the SC's decision, but perhaps a light hearted remark like 'I was sorry to learn that will not be working in the same department again any time soon... .'
Or do I just pretend it never happened?

I imagine the situation must be unpleasant for her, too.

[ruralguy]

I wouldn't bother mentioning it at all.

I've applied to my adviser's institution (the one of my PH.D.). I didn't expect anything special to happen, and it didn't. He wrote me good letters before, and I am sure he still would.

It would be different had you been a finalist. Were you?

[taltalim]

Nope, I did not even make it on the long list for first stage interviews.

[zyzzx]

Since you are planning to email her anyway, I would mention it, in a way that makes it clear that there are no hard feelings on your part. Lighthearted is good, maybe followed by a remark about how you understand that competition is fierce, or that you wish them luck in getting a good person (as long as you think you can say this and have it come across as sincere, and not bitter or sarcastic).

I think that ignoring it would be a bad idea - go ahead and kick the elephant out of the room.

Put in a line or two, then move on to your other business.

[offthemarket]

Don't pretend that it never happened.

Next time you are having a drink together at a conference, just ask, "How'd that search go?" and leave it at that. It's tacitly understood that there are a jazillion applicants for jobs, after all. It's not expected to get a reply from a rejection letter, and if you want to avoid awkward, then don't reply.

[aside]

I agree with ruralguy and offthemarket.  If you are contacting her about another matter tomorrow, there is no need to mention your unsuccessful application; doing so puts the ball in her court (though she can ignore it, of course).

[ruralguy]

There is no elephant in my view.

You got rejected. Its done. On with life.

[taltalim]

Thanks for your input so far.

I need to contact her tomorrow to ask if she is willing to write letters for two positions I am going to apply for, i.e., the email will be about jobs, searches etc. Doesn't that put a spot light on the proverbial elephant?

Re. offthemarket's suggestion: It is my understanding never to ask a SC member about a search in which I was unsuccessful. Wouldn't it be imprudent to ask her "How'd that search go?" when I see her next time? (By then I will of course already know who was hired...)

[fedscholar]

I wouldn't mention it.

I think that there is a clarity when you apply to a school where they know you well. They probably have a sense of what they want, and they know you well, so if they did not see a fit, you have to trust them on it. In most searches, it is not nearly so clear on either end. It was clear, and it is done.

If your former advisor mentions it, I would just listen, and try to set your ego aside. A great chance to get info, if you can deal with it without reacting.  That is, if you can listen to why you were passed over without blurting out....but, but, but..x,y.z, waaah!!!! 

As my Pop Warner coach would say, "walk it off kid...just walk it off"

[offthemarket]

There is no elephant, unless it's of your creation.

You contact this person asking for letters. No need to mention the job thing. It'll be awkward if you do, and normal if you don't.

[taltalim]

Thank you all!
I am very happy to hear there are no elephants around, and I will sent my email now w/o mentioning the rejection.

Btw, absolute no hard feelings on my side. I knew from the beginning that my chances were tiny (right sub-field but with a slightly different research focus).

[brixton]

If there were a lot of candidates, she might not even realize she just signed a rejection letter.  My office manager brings me the stack of rejections, and I sign them, rarely looking closely at the names.