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atlchemist
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« on: January 30, 2012, 01:26:56 PM » |
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I have three campus interviews coming up. All are local, so the fact that my H has a local job might be a good thing. But I also worry that the SC will see a young married woman and think that I will be on maternity leave/leaving academia to stay at home before long. Should I wear my wedding ring to my interviews or leave it at home
Edit: Ok, I just found a thread from 2009 where regulars absolutely railed on the OP for asking this question. But I have definitely heard that leaving the wedding rings at home for job interviews is common in other fields. I guess not in academia?
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« Last Edit: January 30, 2012, 01:29:15 PM by atlchemist »
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msparticularity
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« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2012, 01:49:53 PM » |
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No, it's common in academia, too--and I think some Forumites (or at least some former ones) have done it, too. The thing is, there are just so many random things for SCs to fixate on, I think getting all weird about one's marital/partnership status is really more a matter of displacement of stress than an actual intelligent strategy. I encourage worrying about attire instead; it's potentially far more fun, and infinitely more complex as a distraction.
Want to talk about accessories for your new interview dress instead? I definitely think you should go for some color for your sweater, or perhaps a fun but tasteful necklace if the sweater is subdued. ;)
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"Once admit that the sole verifiable or fruitful object of knowledge is the particular set of changes that generate the object of study...and no intelligible question can be asked about what, by assumption, lies outside." John Dewey
"Be particular." Jill Conner Browne
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atlchemist
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« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2012, 01:53:47 PM » |
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No, it's common in academia, too--and I think some Forumites (or at least some former ones) have done it, too. The thing is, there are just so many random things for SCs to fixate on, I think getting all weird about one's marital/partnership status is really more a matter of displacement of stress than an actual intelligent strategy. I encourage worrying about attire instead; it's potentially far more fun, and infinitely more complex as a distraction.
Want to talk about accessories for your new interview dress instead? I definitely think you should go for some color for your sweater, or perhaps a fun but tasteful necklace if the sweater is subdued. ;)
Obsessing about attire is old hat for me. LOL. I will say that I am a novice at accessorizing. Much to my dismay, I just don't really bother with it for the most part. For the dress, I was thinking a colored (pink?) cardigan and a pearl necklace. Pearls are my go-to jewelry; you could call them a crutch since I wear them in most dressy situations. As for the wedding ring, I will wear it if that's not a faux pas. I wasn't worried about my H so much as being a woman of childbearing age, but most women who are looking for their first academic position are of childbearing age, no? |
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aprilmay
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« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2012, 02:20:25 PM » |
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Most people will not notice or care either way.
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fayefaye
number one
Junior member
Posts: 92
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« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2012, 02:33:14 PM » |
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I know someone (a woman) who did this. Though I will say, based on hanging out on CHE for some years, my field is somewhat odd in its norms, and even given that the woman in question is odd. So I don't think it's at all typical to do. I would wear it and not worry about it.
Are you a two-body problem or are you married to a 'civilian'?
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I am only guessing that you've gotten back from an interview because of the subtext of desperation in your questions
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fraggles
Junior member
Posts: 66
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« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2012, 03:04:14 PM » |
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I'm in an MLA field and surveyed a few female professors (at my private R1), all of whom said that young, married women cause SCs some anxiety (mostly because of the two body problem). I opted not to wear my ring to my MLA interviews and left it off for my recent campus interview as well. It was difficult not to mention my family in friendly conversations, but I managed. My husband can work from home wherever we move, and I have no plans to give baby fraggles a younger sibling, but I figured better safe than sorry.
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macaroon
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« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2012, 03:12:24 PM » |
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Yes to Pearls. Yes to wedding ring - I agree with msparticularity that it is displacement of stress.
AND, while you are obsessing about this, before you freak out about any questions about your personal life, ask yourself first, "Is it possible that this person asked in order to try to figure out how to sell me on the area?" If you don't freak out, the person will most likely follow up with something like, "James has school aged children - talk to him about school issues. Magda is a lesbian and found a neighborhood where she's really comfortable. Etc.
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atlchemist
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« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2012, 03:58:33 PM » |
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I know someone (a woman) who did this. Though I will say, based on hanging out on CHE for some years, my field is somewhat odd in its norms, and even given that the woman in question is odd. So I don't think it's at all typical to do. I would wear it and not worry about it.
Are you a two-body problem or are you married to a 'civilian'?
My husband is not an academic. |
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leobloom
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« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2012, 04:57:50 PM » |
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You must be doing something right since you got three campus interviews. I assume your area is Atlanta, where I also applied for some jobs I have yet to hear from.
About the wedding ring, I have no clear opinions one way or another, other than to behave naturally. Just make sure there is no ring-shaped lack of suntan on your finger once you take it off, in which case you should probably keep it on.
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drnobody
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« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2012, 05:45:49 PM » |
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I'm not married and have almost wanted to wear a ring because the last thing I want them thinking is I may decide to get married and leave. There are two sides to it. Your address is local, as you have mentioned, so if you're married and they know that, it might be helpful--not that it would really be a deciding factor--because they'd probably rather have someone who might take a bit of time off to have a baby but plans to stick around. Married may mean stable and long term too. So what everyone said--be you--there are pros and cons to everything and you can't read an SC's collective mind, so sweat the cardigan, not the ring.
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atlchemist
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« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2012, 05:49:24 PM » |
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You guys--I sweat everything. LOL
Anyway, thanks for letting me know that the wedding ring thing is a non-issue.
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larryc
Hu hatin'
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 18,287
Eschew the hu.
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« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2012, 05:52:36 PM » |
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Wear the ring. Be yourself. Knock 'em dead.
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totoro
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« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2012, 06:08:41 PM » |
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At least around here, wedding rings would have little predictive power about having children... My wife and I only wear our rings when we "dress up". So we wear them to job interviews. But so many people are "partnered" but not married. And women who aren't traditionally partnered also have children... Maybe none of these things are happening in Atlanta :)
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atlchemist
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« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2012, 06:16:35 PM » |
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Apparently I don't know how to de-italicize. I think I put the marker in the wrong spot. My previous post looks really weird.
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anisogamy
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« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2012, 09:15:02 PM » |
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I'm planning on wearing my wedding ring to my own upcoming interview. I don't have a two-body problem (at least not in the conventional sense) and I get the feeling the the institution is fairly family-friendly, but I'd still keep my ring on even if it were a more high-powered, separation-of-work-and-life sort of place.
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A little compassion is better than kicking people when they are down, regardless of who has suffered more and longer or whose bad job market has the biggest dick.
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