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[macaroon]

Agree on this. My parents just kept telling me to save for college, and gave me very little idea of how much they could or would pay. The summer before my senior year, they announced they were done paying for it. The thing is, they made too much money for me to get a loan (nor did they give me enough advance time to apply for one). I had anticipated this (long history of dysfunction) and had applied for and got two scholarships to cover tuition.

I was in a similar situation.  My parents had told me they were going to pay for my college, but then backed out my junior year of high school.  The claim was that I was just going to go to do drugs and have sex, so why waste the money?  (I did both, of course, but I also made it to all my classes and graduated with a 3.8.)   They had a huge house and I qualified for nothing, not even low-interest loans.  Fortunately, I was able to land a full-tuition scholarship, and I had some  marketable odd skills that paid almost as well as the pole.  Well, probably better than the pole for me because I'm flat.  Then, to save money,  I moved out of the dorms and lived in a hippie commune, which cut my living expenses drastically.
 
I had no idea I was eligible for food stamps until the summer before grad school.

I'll be honest - I got a lot of help in learning about finances from my wealthy roommate!  Her parents taught her to use quicken, and she taught me. 

[brixton]

I'm sort of surprised you're all treating this as if it were unique.  The parent email thread is full of examples where parents are stepping in to keep students children.  I've taught a fair number, as an administrator deal with these folks and their parents on a regular basis, and I occasionally see the university hire them.  It's not something the OP will be able to fix in a casual conversation, unfortunately. 

[obprof]

Yep, same here. My parents always said that they were going to pay for college, and I believed them. They did have some funds set aside, but I don't think they realized how much it would actually cost. So it was entirely inadequate.

Meanwhile, they had prohibited me from taking any part-time jobs in high school, so I didn't have much in the way of savings when I started.

I didn't qualify for financial aid, because of their income. Fortunately I was able to work full-time during the summers and then part-time during the school year. I also had some scholarships.

To this day, I don't think they realize how much it all cost; they paid for some of it, but they think that they paid for almost all of it.

[clean]

Is this an ONLY child situation?

Not much more that I can add.  The parents made a mistake long ago by forgetting the Magic word, "no".  

IF she CHOOSES to eat food other than they paid for, let her earn the money.

There are lots of social opportunities in the campus cafeteria.  I got through my dissertation eating at one for seven meals a week.  If it were not for the social opportunities that I had there at lunch I would have gone (further) insane.  

But it is too late for the OP to tell anyone anything.

As for the Wedding Industrial Complex, I will quote Mr. T: "I Pity The Fool" that wants to marry this one.  Isnt there a show about demanding brides?

Of course, when she graduates, is she going to work or will her parents continue to provide what they called Economic Outpatient Care in their book The Millionaire Next Door?  It wont be a problem, as at the rate they are going, they will never be millionairs anyway.

[username2]

I don't have much to add to this, other than being concerned with the parents' role in this.

I also think you are worrying too much, and wonder if these parents are oversharing with you, instead of having real conversations with the daughter. Maybe they're the too-chummy Millennial's parents that we've heard about.

Another reason not to worry about it - I'm sure this girl is going to be guilt-tripped to death by the parents once she gets a job, or might end up needing to help the parents out in retirement. So it all evens out, one way or another.