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[death24xasecond]

Hello,

I'm an MA graduate from a top-5 program in my field. Throughout my MA, I did all the things exceptionally ambitious and driven people should do if they hope to get into a top doctoral program in their field. At the close of my program, I was able to obtain (I'm told) excellent recommendations from two of my professors. The third verbally expressed willingness to write for me contingent on my final course grade, which turned out to be an A. The reason I chose these three was because I had taken two courses with each of them.

Through summer and fall, I kept in touch with each of my referees, and at this point I have two letters in the bag. The third referee, who happens to be extremely prominent in the field and department chair at my graduate program, didn't respond to my initial LoR email (sent in October). Neither did they respond to repeated follow-up reminders sent at polite intervals through November.

Now, barely a week before the deadline for several of my main applications (including to my graduate school's department), they emailed claiming to be too busy to take on another letter, and expressed the usual niceties about wishing me the best and being sure I'll find another referee.

I believe him, although the "academic politics" skeptic in me is concerned this is their polite/implicit way of blocking my career/at least my entry to the top programs (I know that during my MA program, they developed a strong preference for another student who has similar goals as myself). However, even if I accept the innocent justification of his withdrawal, it leaves me in a near-impossible position. The last time we actually talked–which was months ago–they expressed perfect willingness. A ~week prior to deadlines, they withdraw. The term is over, and there is really nobody in the department I can approach at this incredibly late date except one member with whom I took one lecture course in the first term of my program.

Faculty members, what are your thoughts on all of this? I have an undergraduate backup (albeit an unknown and not in my field) who I know will write an exceptionally strong letter because he has followed my career closely, so I am presently in touch with them. Should I be worried that this graduate referee has an agenda against me? Is it sheer lousy time management? Although I'm more than aware that as a lowly MA student I'm not high on a department chair's priority list, is it really fair to myself as an individual that they provides this update so near the deadlines, leaving me high and dry? Certainly, they have no obligations to write for me. But in that case 1) they either should not have consented to it initially, or 2) should have updated me much earlier than this.

To all faculty members out there, please remember that we, at heart, want to do the same things you do. That is why we choose to throw away most of our lives chasing something that few of us will actually obtain, despite all your warnings. Please do us the courtesy of being upfront whenever possible, rather than pulling the rug out from under our feet.

[scampster]

Faculty members, what are your thoughts on all of this? I have an undergraduate backup (albeit an unknown and not in my field) who I know will write an exceptionally strong letter because he has followed my career closely, so I am presently in touch with them. Should I be worried that this graduate referee has an agenda against me? Is it sheer lousy time management? Although I'm more than aware that as a lowly MA student I'm not high on a department chair's priority list, is it really fair to myself as an individual that they provides this update so near the deadlines, leaving me high and dry? Certainly, they have no obligations to write for me. But in that case 1) they either should not have consented to it initially, or 2) should have updated me much earlier than this.

I think wise words I heard on this fora were "Don't attribute to malice what can be ascribed to incompetence."

I'm sure that ruining your career before it even starts was not on the mind on your flaky reference. Sure they should have told you earlier or not consented, but you are lucky they even gave you a week to scrape everything else together. Frankly, there were also a lot of red flags that he wouldn't be dependable: "Only if you get an A in my class", not responding to earlier e-mails etc. You have every right to be annoyed by the situation, but move on.

[tinyzombie]

I'm waiting for a late PhD recommendation myself, but OP, that last sentence in your post is bothering me. I don't think that one professor's flakiness justifies a POS to all professors.

[death24xasecond]

@tinyzombie: I apologize for what might be taken as a blanket-slam on all faculty. However, we all know that this sort of thing is something very frequently associated with faculty. In various forms, certainly, but lack of response, hedging speech, not communicating properly...social skills are just not something that academics excel at, in general.

@scampster: My MA program is a one-year program, although it is very highly regarded. I was only able to take two courses at best with the faculty of interest before the program ended. Do you really think the A-conditional was a red flag? I chose to see it as a fair standard, considering the compressed timeframe and his seniority. Plus, I know that he graded the final papers for those himself rather than having his TAs do it. As a result, I felt okay with that condition (moreso since I met his own condition). As far as his lack of response goes...yes, perhaps that indeed was a warning sign, but I should add that another referee, who has written a sound letter, also did not respond. Yet, when we ran into each other at an event on campus, he immediately remembered my letter and reassured me. I felt okay with giving the problem referee (considering his seniority) some leeway here.

I have an update to the situation. I emailed him -extremely- politely and respectfully, pointing out that I'd played by his rules and that his withdrawal now would effectively hurt my applications seriously. His reply has me worried, and I continue to be unsure of the situation. He says that if he indeed promised me the letter (which he says he does not remember, and asks me to excuse his memory...however I do know that he promised this), he will write it. That's all.

Am I really doing something wrong here? Should I trust the letter that he now says he'll write?

[sugaree]

OP, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. IOW, this situation is so completely NOT about you. And even if it were (which, again, it isn't), there's nothing you can do about it. Would it really make you feel better to believe that some well-known superstar in your field even cares about you so as to "ruin" your fledgling career before it even gets started? Just what do you expect to do with this knowledge? Seriously, not to be overly harsh, but you are just not that important.

It's an unfortunate situation, to be sure, but you've wisely created a backup plan for yourself. Good practice for the future when you will run into any number of flakey academics who promise to do any number of things that they will fail to do. Stop spinning paranoid fantasies, get the alternate letter, and move on with your life.

on preview: OP, really? Putting a superstar on the spot? Even if you were "wronged" how is this going to help your perceived-to-be-actively-undermined career? It is good that you were polite, but the impolitic message sent is likely to make far more of a (negative) impression on this prof than you apparently already made. Back away slowly from this mess. Use an alternate letter, apologize to flakely prof for the misunderstanding (even though it's not your fault) and MOVE ON.

[alleyoxenfree]

What sugaree said.  Now he's in a position to blackball you if the letters are confidential, or if they call him to follow up.

Since you have two letters from your current program, why would a third matter?  It's clear that you want the imprimatur of his reputation, but there were warning signs earlier that he wasn't dependable.  You didn't want to see them, and now you are defensive about that, rather than acknowledging, yes, they were there and I just didn't read them that way, lesson learned.

Learn your lesson, quit thinking about "fairness" if you hope to enter the profession, and start learning some of the subtler, passive-aggressive truths - as well as practical skills for protecting yourself.  Back-up plans are essential, and you should have had a third letter in the can and ready to go if he didn't come through.  After all, he might have had a sudden illness, as someone I know did, and all the letters went undone - force of nature.  Learn your lesson, get another letter, move on.  Quit thinking that when you do "all you're supposed to," that the universe always rewards that.

[death24xasecond]

sugaree and alleyoxenfree: Thank you for the feedback. I do appreciate it. No, I don't think I'm important enough for him to bother wrecking my future plans. I just know that often, faculty end up placing students in positions that are extremely unfair and unnecessarily difficult. And I know that things don't have to be this way, because for every problem professor, there are others who strive to make academia a better place.

sugaree: I do realize that I placed him on the spot. However, they invited such a situation. Everything could have been avoided if they had simply told me upfront that they feel uncomfortable writing me a letter, or something similar. I certainly don't mind!

alleyoxenfree: Yes, his position is a factor in my request. A third...well, it may not matter, but given how extremely competitive admissions are, it would certainly make a difference. It isn't so much that I didn't 'want' to see any warning signs. I honestly did not feel that there were problematic indications. Perhaps in that I was indeed naive; if so, it is a lesson learned. That being said, I don't feel that input == output all the time. I certainly know that this is often not the case. I just think (perhaps idealistically) that people can do a lot to make life simpler in every respect...and this certainly applies to a field as ensnared in politicking and drama as academia. Simply accepting the status quo and learning to navigate it doesn't do much to improve things.

But of course, as I said, I see and accept your points. I do know that this referee, whether out of reluctance to recommend me personally, or out of the consequences of his flakiness, will be a likely problem spot in my letters. I trust, for the moment, that the lack of any real academic reason to damn me will keep things on the level, and that my backup letter will work to assuage any damage that might occur.

[larryc]

OP, other people do not spend as much time thinking about you as you think they do, or should.

The letter will be fine. Stop worrying about it.

[lasquires]

You've received excellent advice here. I would also suggest that you may find yourself burning out quickly if your Outrage Meter tops 11 every time a setback like this occurs. Yes, it would be awesome if academic life wasn't shaped by the foibles of human beings. Sure, we could all do more to make the world a better place. But the answer in this situation is to take pro-active steps to solve your problem, not to bemoan the politics of the profession, which, in my opinion, actually have very little to do with your situation. You will find plenty of opportunities to observe and remark upon the problems that plague the profession if you continue with a PhD. Every once in a while, you will actually be able to change something for the better. This is not one of those situations. Pick your battles.

[death24xasecond]

Thank you for the advice/feedback, everyone. And I mean that.

[pigou]

I think having someone from your undergraduate program write a letter might be a good idea in general. It shows that your performance has been worthy of recommendation then, too. I wouldn't worry about it and definitely do not ask the superstar to write a letter now. There's a significant chance that it won't be good, which can ruin your chances of getting into the program. You're not going to win this battle.

That being said, I don't care how famous you are: when you promise to write a letter, that's what you do. One of my referees was barely at the university because of his outside obligations. He still managed to send all letters well in advance of deadlines. If you know you don't have the time to do it, you owe it to the applicant to say so from the beginning. Everyone remembers how stressful applications were, and if others hadn't taken the time to write letters back in the day, even superstars wouldn't be where they are today.

[polly_mer]

OP, other people do not spend as much time thinking about you as you think they do, or should.

The letter will be fine. Stop worrying about it.

This.  You took a class with this guy (aka were not in a formal mentor/protege relationship), asked for a letter, and then let months pass instead of following up?  

If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you in your life, then you will have led a charmed life.

Get over it and get on with it.

[msparticularity]

OP, other people do not spend as much time thinking about you as you think they do, or should.

The letter will be fine. Stop worrying about it.

This.  You took a class with this guy (aka were not in a formal mentor/protege relationship), asked for a letter, and then let months pass instead of following up?  

Polly, your interpretation does not match what the OP actually said:

Through summer and fall, I kept in touch with each of my referees, and at this point I have two letters in the bag. The third referee, who happens to be extremely prominent in the field and department chair at my graduate program, didn't respond to my initial LoR email (sent in October). Neither did they respond to repeated follow-up reminders sent at polite intervals through November.

While I agree that the OP's fear of some kind of a vendetta/grudge is overblown, and s/he is coming cross as a bit self-centered and hysterical, this is actually a pretty serious issue for a student to suddenly be faced with this late in the application process. The sequence of events reveals this prof to be inefficient and/or a flake--which is not the OP's fault.

[polly_mer]

OP, other people do not spend as much time thinking about you as you think they do, or should.

The letter will be fine. Stop worrying about it.

This.  You took a class with this guy (aka were not in a formal mentor/protege relationship), asked for a letter, and then let months pass instead of following up? 

Polly, your interpretation does not match what the OP actually said:

Through summer and fall, I kept in touch with each of my referees, and at this point I have two letters in the bag. The third referee, who happens to be extremely prominent in the field and department chair at my graduate program, didn't respond to my initial LoR email (sent in October). Neither did they respond to repeated follow-up reminders sent at polite intervals through November.

While I agree that the OP's fear of some kind of a vendetta/grudge is overblown, and s/he is coming cross as a bit self-centered and hysterical, this is actually a pretty serious issue for a student to suddenly be faced with this late in the application process. The sequence of events reveals this prof to be inefficient and/or a flake--which is not the OP's fault.

I stand corrected.  So, OP, when several reminders were ignored, why weren't you lining up the replacement so that you wouldn't be under the gun and in a crisis?

Yes, having someone pull out at the last minute is serious, but someone who is on top of the process enough to see a lemon should also be on top of the process to get around the lemon.  That's also a useful life lesson because people don't stop being lemons as one goes up the ladder.

[larryc]

I think the idea that the professor is now going to write a bad letter to punish the OP is ridiculous.