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[academicjd]

I thought I'd post here and see if there are some other people who are going through or have gone through what I'm going through right now and who could maybe offer some advice/words of wisdom.

Basically, I'm currently in my first year as a VAP (last year I was an adjunct at another school), and though there is a chance I'll be able to stay at my current institution for another year, it is by no means certain.  I have been applying to both TT and non-TT jobs for the past few months and have gotten two interviews but no callbacks. 

I'm starting to feel panicked.  This is the first time in my life when my job is simply scheduled to end at a certain point (when I was adjuncting, I had another full-time job), and the insecurity is really starting to get to me.  I'm worried about everything with or without evidence - What if I can't finish my article?  What if my students give me horrible evaluations or even one disgruntled student makes a complaint?  What if my colleagues secretly hate me or think I'm not cut out for this line of work and therefore give me poor recommendations?  And, of course, what if I don't have a job next year?

Do other people feel like this?  What if all of the above fears somehow come true - am I just done with this line of work?  The only thing I feel like I have any control over is finishing the article, and even then, it could get rejected for publication.  I don't know what I'll do if things don't work out.  Thoughts?

[educator1]

We all feel like this at some point in time or another. When I switched from a full-time job into a non-TT position and started consulting while caring for a relative with cancer (the reason that I had to make the move), I had these fears all of the time. Initially, I was scared of the classroom and wondered if anyone would hire me as a consultant.
The only way I survived was to make sure that I got plenty of exercise and took time regularly to just relax and do something that I really enjoyed, if only for a brief time. When I concentrated solely on preparing for teaching or writing during all of my free time away from being a caregiver, I would just get tied into knots and paralyze myself.  This situation will resolve itself and worrying about it will only increase the probability that the resolution will be less than optimal.
Postscript: I have been doing this over twenty years now and consider it the best move that I ever made. Teaching is a wonderful profession and it is an invaluable contributor to my consulting business!

[corny]

Academicjd, I think many of us have had the kind of anxiety you describe - it's totally normal. I'm currently in a similar position - a 1-year VAP with a possibility but not a guarantee of renewal. I was previously in a multi-year postdoc, and last year's job search was definitely more anxiety-producing simply because it was my final postdoc year and I knew that, one way or another, the job was coming to an end in May.

That said - this is probably going to get worse before it gets better, so you need to find some strategies to cope and keep your stress levels down as best you can. I don't know when you were offered your current VAP, but I got mine in late May - a week after classes at postdoc U had ended. By then I had contingency plans involving adjunct work and a lead on a non-academic office job, but it was all a bit harrowing. And every year we hear stories here about people who get offers - even TT offers - late into the summer.

Educator1 has some good advice - take care of yourself physically (eat well, exercise, sleep), and make sure that you have something you can turn to for enjoyment and satisfaction that *isn't* your work. (The ability to control and complete SOMETHING can be especially soothing in the face of the uncertainty of the job search - "well, I don't know where I'll be next year, but I just made a delicious lasagna!" Or whatever.) Focus on doing the best job you can on the things you can control - the quality of the work you do, the job applications you send out - and simply disengaging from the things you can't. (Easier said than done, I know.) And then, you know, cross your fingers, have a drink/bowl of ice cream/nap, and try not to give yourself an ulcer.

[luckychance]

Your anxiety seems normal. I have a few points of advice.
A) Apply for as many jobs as possible. Last round I applied for about 95 and got 3 offers.
B) Get regular exercise and enough sleep.
C) Keep in mind that the later it gets (come January, then, February, etc. all the way to May and June), the more desperate employers will be and the weaker the applicant pools will be. It's way too early to panic. 

[watermarkup]

I wouldn't say that this anxiety is normal. It's one of the unique delights of being a VAP: At any moment, you can hear the quiet tick-tick-ticking of your academic career running out. While you're moving from one VAP job to another, you're spending 8 or 9 months out of the year on the market, with all that entrails. I don't know if you get used to it, but you learn to live with it.

Luckychance gives excellent advice. In addition, you should ask yourself: If your academic career ends in 9 months, what's the one thing you want to accomplish? That's what you should work on. Do you want to spend that time putting together a competent literature review, or do you want to swing for the fences? Are you saving anything for a hypothetical future day when you have a tenure-track job? Stop waiting. Do it now. This might be your only chance.

Hang in there. I've been hired in June, and May, and April.

[alleyoxenfree]

All good advice, and I would add: multitask.  Maybe volunteer for that AIDS or Alzheimer's walk, and while you're manning the registration table, talk to people about their work at non-profits.  Effectively, craft yourself a viable Plan B, like working at a local nonprofit, then get out and meet the people who could hire you or tell you about leads.  You'd be surprised how "normal" people look at you and your skills, if you present it as, "I'm currently doing X but also looking at other options.  Tell me more about the work you do with Y....."

Meanwhile, keep publishing and applying.  But nothing cuts dread, terror, and paralysis about the future like putting yourself in control of your Plan B.

[walkingtree]

I can't give you any advice. I am pretty much in the same situation as you are. I have been getting rejections every month and counting. This fall, I sort of stopped applying for academic jobs. I felt frozen. I couldn't go forward or get out. Got an article rejected and a book deal slowed down. I became hopeless and stopped writing for a while. I don't know where I will live next July. That's the scary part. I moved from coast to coast. I am afraid that I have to relocate again--what if to the other coast? I feel my ego shrinking everyday, feeling tired.

[harrapsempire]

Same here, VAP with possibility but no guarantee of renewal (and if it were renewed, I don't know if I'd stay). I haven't gotten any rejection yet, but will soon, most likely. I'm so tired and discouraged that I have a hard time working...

[walkingtree]

I can completely relate to the part on "hard time working." So true. I can't concentrate and move forward.

Same here, VAP with possibility but no guarantee of renewal (and if it were renewed, I don't know if I'd stay). I haven't gotten any rejection yet, but will soon, most likely. I'm so tired and discouraged that I have a hard time working...

[watermarkup]

Research and writing is an excellent way to take your mind off your crummy job and worse employment prospects. I'm not kidding. I highly recommend it.

[polly_mer]

Meanwhile, keep publishing and applying.  But nothing cuts dread, terror, and paralysis about the future like putting yourself in control of your Plan B.

This.  Make sure you have wonderful options.  Put out as many different kind of feelers as you can manage.  Get excited about something and let that excitement spill over into other parts of your life.

I'm serious about the excitement.  Having the confidence of "look at all these great choices" tends to lead to better applications and networking than the attitude of "I've gotta have something, anything.  Please, people, I'll do anything." 

Pick plans for next year for which you can get excited and do the things that you will have wanted to do even if you end up in Plan Q.  Something will come up as long as you have enough lines in the water and exude an aura that makes people want to work with you and help you. 

I've been hired in August for fall jobs as well as December for January jobs.  Contrary to the Movies of the Week, very, very few people end up homeless on the street without substance abuse or other problems.  Most people move in with friends or relatives and take less-than-desirable bill-paying jobs for a few months while continuing to look for better jobs.  You'll be ok.  Really.  Apply for everything that interests you, investigate Plans B-Q, and keep the faith.

[onwardandupward]

Can I ask please - what field are you in ?

I am about to begin PhD in accounting program and everyone says there will be plenty of TT jobs waiting for me when I'm done.

Does it all depend on your field ?

[academicjd]

Thanks everyone for the kind words.  And I'm sorry to everyone else going through this.  I've been having hard time working as well, which, is of course, the worse possible way to behave right now.

I like the solutions offered.  I do have a tendency to stay up too late working, then crash the next day, eat crap, not leave my apartment, etc.  I think I will just try and put myself on a schedule that includes both work and time to exercise and do fun things, and when I don't feel like doing something, like going for a walk, just force myself to do it anyway, and pretend I'm the kind of person who DOES feel like doing it.  Sounds silly, but it has worked for me in the past.

Working on a Plan B is also a good idea - I think it will take away some of the pressure.  I do have a sort of idea, but it is very low-paying; nonetheless, I'd be able to make rent with a roommate (already have a friend lined up who's in a somewhat similar position) so I'd survive so long as my student loans could be deferred.  And I'm glad people reminded me about the timing thing - I got my current job in March, and it sounds like a lot of people got their jobs much later than that, which makes me feel better. 

I also like the desperation of employers theory, ha ha.  I was kind of hoping for that.  I'm not a bad candidate, but because I'm new, their are A LOT of better people out there than me right now (in terms of # of publications, years of experience) so hopefully they will all get jobs soon and get out of the race!  Luckily, I'm not in one of those fields where there are only a dozen decent positions a year or something.

[educator1]

Does it all depend on your field ?

YES!

[hopeandfaith]

Does it all depend on your field ?

YES!

What are the most competitive and least competitive fields?