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[merinoblue]

I understand the inclination to keep tabs on emails (both for content and tone) from someone who persists in sending unwanted messages.  I've felt this alarm with a few people in my life who have boundary problems.  What's happened to me is that after time, when nothing truly weird or alarming has arrived in my inbox (or my voice mail), I've felt safe enough to ignore the messages and eventually, lose my curiosity about the person altogether.  I think it's important to respect your feelings when you've essentially ended a relationship with someone who's off or mentally ill no matter how unproductive those efforts might seem in a rational calculus.  It might be about giving yourself the perception of control (even where these is none), but anything that makes you feel safe and less unsettled is a worthwhile investment of energy.  I really think you'll lose interest in this person eventually.

[username2]

I've gotten the gifts and hand-written cards in the mail ... but before the current chill-out.

It's funny ... when I was getting those cards early on, I didn't see them as creepy, I saw them as caring. That's probably because I needed to see them that way. I was in a bad way emotionally then w/o fully realizing it. But in retrospect it does look different.

eek! Well, hopefully you haven't gotten the unscheduled pop-ins. That's when I'd really start to worry.

[crowie]

There is a chapter in Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear that deals with the overly insistent caller/emailer.  I think the anecdote he shared was in a workplace context (someone who wanted a job and took "don't take no for an answer" too literally).  What that chapter (and some subsequent chapters) taught me is that even if someone doesn't meet the legal definition of a "stalker," the strategies that will work against a stalker are also pretty much the strategies that one can use on someone who is, say, heading in that direction, or just someone whose relationship with you feels not-right.  You could give it a read.  I can't remember his position on email, I think he suggested using a filter, but maybe holding onto the emails in a file of some kind.