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[csgirl]

OK, I see these posts every so often, and always read because there is usually good advice. Now, I am faced with my very own Difficult Student situation, and need advice. 

I have had difficult students in the past, ranging from the one who used to come to my office to show me his odd inventions, until I learned he committed suicide, to the autistic student who used to hand flap endlessly in class and could not deal with any assignment with even the slightest ambiguity.  I've managed with each of them. But now I am at a loss.

This student is in an advanced CS course. On the very first day, he burst into tears at the end, saying "I can't understand anything". I spoke with him a bit, and figured it was just a case of nerves. In the middle of the second class, he burst into tears again, and this time, ended up in the hall sobbing for 20 minutes while I tried to persuade him to go to student counseling (and the other students sat and waited).

The third class was kind of OK, but in the fourth class, we had a lab. They had to follow some directions to set up tables in a database. I gave them pretty detailed instructions, but because I worked out my directions on a Windows XP machine (my administration refuses to upgrade my machine) and the students all have Windows7, there were some slight differences. The other students had no issues and rapidly finished the lab. But, the Difficult Student completely lost it. He accused me of trying to mess him up, and repeated over and over that he couldn't possibly do the lab because I had given him bad instructions. Even when I sat with him and painstakingly went through all of the steps, he remained angry and belligerent. I asked him to come to my office to get extra help, but he refused, saying he had no time.

Every class now, I am petrified that he is either going to burst into tears and disrupt the class again, or start accusing me of derailing his ability to do the work. I also have a planned project in which they will work in pairs, and I can see already that he is going to be a problem for whoever gets him as a partner.  The counseling center won't help me - it is clear that they know him well, but they won't give me advice on how to work with him because of FERPA. The course is a difficult one, and the other students deserve to get my full attention on the material during the class.

What is your advice on defusing the tearful and/or belligerent outbursts in a way that doesn't appear unsympathetic?

[anon99]

Is this a first year class?  If student resource centre is aware of his, he's probably not a first year student dealign with the newness of university life and being away from home. 

Honestly, and this may sound harsh, I'd pull him aside after class when it is just the two of you and tell him that if he is having problems, he needs to get help from the student centre.  Don't ask if there are other things going on in his life.  Explain that this is a X level course and as such you expect students to be able to handle the material.  It is not your job to walk him through every assignment and hold his hand.
And if he is having repeated breakdowns, he is affecting the other students as well and it is not fair. 

[molli_sols]

Hi csgirl.  I don't have any advice but I'm bookmarking because I have a very similar case in one of my classes this term.  After spending the entire 1 hour lab period helping this kid (with the same kind of defeatist attitude) on two separate occasions, I finally told him that perhaps we should meet after class.  He got up and left the minute I started talking to another lab group.  The things he got frustrated over were middle school pre-algebra concepts and I am pretty sure he actually does know them (because I can't understand how someone could graduate high school not knowing this). He burst into flaming frustration so quickly that he couldn't see the algorithm anymore.  

I am not sure yet what I'll say to him if he comes back next week. The disabilities office here won't release any info but they gave me some tips at how I could suggest (without outright suggesting) that he go see them.  They said I could ask him if this was the only class he was feeling overwhelmed in and then regardless of his answer I could describe a number of resources on campus for him to check out like the tutoring center, counselling center, etc. under the guise that he is a freshman and might not know what each office does.  I don't know if that would help with your student since it sounds like he is not a freshman.  

[conjugate]

I believe that the disabilities office doesn't understand FERPA.  Information may be shared for a valid educational purpose, and if trying to figure out how to keep this student on task and in control of himself isn't a valid educational purpose I don't know what would be. 

However, that's beside the point.  Go to your supervisor (chair, dean, or whomever) and give them a heads-up that this may be something they'll hear about further.  Then, check out what to do if a student becomes disruptive; school policies differ.  At my institution, I could simply call the security office and have a disruptive student escorted away from class. 

You can't let the student's emotional meltdown keep you from working with the rest of the class.

Now, some suggestions besides telling the disabilities people to grow up and grow a pair (I really think they must know better but not know how to handle the student themselves): If another student is willing, when this guy begins to get upset, ask a student sitting nearby to help.  Both of them should be using Windows 7.  (I can sympathize on the XP as well; my institution uses it too). 

Also, consider suggesting to the student (whom you have, if I understood your post correctly, in four classes?) that dropping a class might be a solution if he has no time to get help.  If you can get the student to talk to you about what's going on in his life besides the classes, and what his sources of stress are, you might be able to make some constructive suggestions about how to improve his situation.

Good luck.

[ford_prefect]

I too am dealing with a similarly distressed student this semester. At my uni, disrupting the learning environment for other is a violation of the student code of conduct. After consulting with my department chair, I referred the case to the Dean of Students. Make sure you submit written documentation of everything that's happened up to this point and that describes the conversations you've already had with relevant offices (like counseling or disabilities support services).

The case with my difficult student is being dealt with, but once the Dean of Students got involved, other offices started taking it seriously.

[glowdart]

I believe that the disabilities office doesn't understand FERPA.  Information may be shared for a valid educational purpose, and if trying to figure out how to keep this student on task and in control of himself isn't a valid educational purpose I don't know what would be.

Absolutely, and even if they don't want to share the details, they should be able to give you advice on how to approach this particular student.  Even if they don't know the student, if you describe the conversations, then they should be able to give you some coping strategies.  Are you talking with the counseling center or the disabilities office?  (Or are they the same?) 

I would talk with whomever you have on campus that is closest to a psychologist, as well as the disabilities office (if this student is registered there), and the Dean of Students.  Talk to them all about how to approach this student. I've had to do this a few times on different campuses; the processes are different, but these conversations serve a lot of different purposes -- it gets the student on multiple radars; it gets you some techniques for how to talk with and teach him; and it covers your ass in case this blows up. 

The magic words for the Dean of Students here are, "I am worried about Stu Dent because [describe the meltdowns].  With whom should I be talking to better enable Stu Dent to succeed in this course and to whom can I refer Stu Dent for assistance with his emotional needs?" 

[ford_prefect]

The magic words for the Dean of Students here are, "I am worried about Stu Dent because [describe the meltdowns].  With whom should I be talking to better enable Stu Dent to succeed in this course and to whom can I refer Stu Dent for assistance with his emotional needs?" 

This.

Other magic words to use with the Dean of Students are, "Stu Dent's [behavior] is disrupting the learning environment for other students."

[dr_alcott]

The magic words for the Dean of Students here are, "I am worried about Stu Dent because [describe the meltdowns].  With whom should I be talking to better enable Stu Dent to succeed in this course and to whom can I refer Stu Dent for assistance with his emotional needs?" 

This.

Other magic words to use with the Dean of Students are, "Stu Dent's [behavior] is disrupting the learning environment for other students."

As well as "I'm concerned about what could happen if this behavior escalates."

[polly_mer]

The magic words for the Dean of Students here are, "I am worried about Stu Dent because [describe the meltdowns].  With whom should I be talking to better enable Stu Dent to succeed in this course and to whom can I refer Stu Dent for assistance with his emotional needs?"  

This.

Other magic words to use with the Dean of Students are, "Stu Dent's [behavior] is disrupting the learning environment for other students."

Yes.  For cases like this, we are encouraged to have a talk with the Dean of Students.  Our DoS has stated publicly multiple times in the recent past that he wants people to refer students when they are still in the worrying phase and are sending out signals that they need help.  The DoS has stated that he will sit in meetings with us with the students to discuss how we (student, faculty, and school) can get the student on the best track, have meetings himself with the student if necessary, or even sit in classes to get a good picture on what's going on to best help everyone involved.  From rumors that have gone around campus and my interactions with the DoS, he's not blowing smoke or just mouthing the right words.

Csgirl, get some help with this guy for your sake and his.

[whipkitty]

Having dealt with similar students (though not as bad in quite this way), I find it sometimes help to create firm boundaries.  For example, tell the student you care about their success and you want to reward their efforts.  Provide a window of time which you will offer in any given class (i.e. I am willing to spend five minutes to get you started, and if you are unable to continue without further assistance I will need you to work on what you can figure out during class, then come to my office hours to finish up).  Do not allow this student to dominate your time beyond this window.  If crying occurs, politely but firmly explain that if Student is too upset to continue talking, you will continue your conversation later, then be willing to walk away, or suggest student use the restroom to compose Student self.  You are not the therapist or Student's mother.  I suspect you are a compassionate professor, but do not mistake indulgence for compassion.  As long as you are pandering to Student, Student will continue to receive reinforcement for this very negative behavior. 

And, as other posters have suggested, document everything...including contact with student services regarding what advice they can give.  This student may have a legitimate issue, or they may be accustomed to manipulating people in this way, or both. 

[lizzy]

The magic words for the Dean of Students here are, "I am worried about Stu Dent because [describe the meltdowns].  With whom should I be talking to better enable Stu Dent to succeed in this course and to whom can I refer Stu Dent for assistance with his emotional needs?"  

This.

Other magic words to use with the Dean of Students are, "Stu Dent's [behavior] is disrupting the learning environment for other students."

Yes.  For cases like this, we are encouraged to have a talk with the Dean of Students.  Our DoS has stated publicly multiple times in the recent past that he wants people to refer students when they are still in the worrying phase and are sending out signals that they need help.  The DoS has stated that he will sit in meetings with us with the students to discuss how we (student, faculty, and school) can get the student on the best track, have meetings himself with the student if necessary, or even sit in classes to get a good picture on what's going on to best help everyone involved.  From rumors that have gone around campus and my interactions with the DoS, he's not blowing smoke or just mouthing the right words.

Csgirl, get some help with this guy for your sake and his.

Another chime to going up the chain of command with this, with a double chime for approaching the Dean of Students. I'd also be specific about what you can do for him in and out of class, with some discussion of what constitutes disrupting the learning environment. I'd look at whatever policies my uni publishes about this before talking to anyone, but it sounds like you need to act on this right away.

Good luck to you.

[spork]

Learned helplessness is not a disability.

This student does not belong in college.

[csgirl]

Thanks for all of the advice. I definitely should go to my chair, although I am a little hesitant because I don't trust my chair at all.  I am also going to ask around my dept to see if anyone else has had this student.

This is an upper level class, and the student is a junior, I believe. The counseling center clearly knew him well. They told me that I cannot get security to escort him out unless I ask him point blank "Are you going to harm yourself or someone else?" and he answers yes. I already used the strategy of sending him to the counseling center, but it didn't help.

[polly_mer]

Thanks for all of the advice. I definitely should go to my chair, although I am a little hesitant because I don't trust my chair at all.  I am also going to ask around my dept to see if anyone else has had this student.

So don't go to the chair.  Go to the Dean of Students' office and seek advice.  Ask someone in your college dean's office what you should do since your chair won't have your back.  Ask someone in the provost's office what they want done.

Go up the line as far as you have to go and skip that chair if you don't trust the chair; I routinely skip my chair for chain of command things that are time sensitive and all the higher ups know why that's the smart thing to do.

[zharkov]

The third class was kind of OK, but in the fourth class, we had a lab. They had to follow some directions to set up tables in a database. I gave them pretty detailed instructions, but because I worked out my directions on a Windows XP machine (my administration refuses to upgrade my machine) and the students all have Windows7, there were some slight differences. The other students had no issues and rapidly finished the lab. But, the Difficult Student completely lost it. He accused me of trying to mess him up, and repeated over and over that he couldn't possibly do the lab because I had given him bad instructions. Even when I sat with him and painstakingly went through all of the steps, he remained angry and belligerent. I asked him to come to my office to get extra help, but he refused, saying he had no time.

Chime about talking to the dean of students' office.

The part above strikes me as a serious red flag, the student not having mastered the ability to follow good but not perfect instructions.  Particularly since all the others did fine, it would seem he is over his head -- and knows it.  It is possible that he has some kind of mental health issues causing this self sabotage, but that is what the counselers need to work on, not us, of course.