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[msparticularity]

The TT is an endurance contest; sooner or later pretty much all of the chinks in our armor get exposed. It's upsetting to us, of course, because we always want to see ourselves in the best possible light, right? And sure, something you said may have permanently annoyed or offended someone in your department--but remember, too, that something you've said when you were at your best may also have annoyed or offended someone in your department! There's simply no way to know or to control this all the time.

[tantalos]

Thanks for the good laugh, macaroon!!! :) You are right, msparticularity.

[macaroon]

It isn't that bad, tantalos!  If all you did was make a bunch of crazy, paranoid rants all over campus, you CAN recover from that.  It's gonna be okay, really, it is.  Paranoid rants don't actually hurt anyone, do they?  So they're going to forgive you if you calm the eff down.  If you ranted to everyone, then that's even better because nobody will be taking it personally. 

What have you done for damage control so far?  You could blame it on "bad medication".  As in, "Boy, did I ever find a medication that DOESN'T work!  Hahah!".   I recommend pointing the finger at Zoloft (sertraline), although Prozac wouldn't be a bad choice.  I have three colleagues that went cuckoo monkey bananas when put on Zoloft.  Or, at least, they claim it was the Zoloft. 

[niceday]

Ha, ha. Yeah, next time, you can laugh and say, "boy, I gotta cut down on caffeine. Makes me rant like a lunatic.:-)" Say it with a genuine smile and move on.

[tantalos]

Thank you all so much for the advice!

[crumpet]

Macaroon, unfortunately I said too much to all sorts of audiences. I was out of my mind...
I wish someone had reminded me that the tenure-track is a 5-year long interview.

Yeah, but all you did was "say things".  You didn't, for example, urinate on anyone's door (or did you? is this you?)
http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-cal-state-northridge-professor-pees-on-door,0,7516367.story

Or go joy riding in an ambulance:
http://www.dailytarheel.com/index.php/article/2011/04/unc_professor_arrested_charged_with_stealing_ambulance

It's crazy making, the tenure track, it really is. You got paranoid and had some "distorted thinking", and now, you're "catastrophizing" and "focusing on the negative", while "dismissing the positive".  You also sound like you're trapped in "black and white" thinking.  I hope you can break out of this, but the first step out of the bad thought patters is recognizing that you are in these bad thought patterns in the first place. And yeah, it might be over for you.  However, it might not be, and part of salvaging your career and your sanity HAS to be breaking out of the distorted thinking trap.

When I was a postdoc, I often had lunch with a young faculty member (who now has tenure) and heard all sorts of this crazy stuff come out of his mouth.  Now I have the same thoughts in my own head, too.  Even if they are accurate, they are completely unhelpful. 

I almost peed myself with the peeing professor story.

Ahem.

Everyone gets anxious and says some crazy stuff. I did this at work after two years of being the quiet, type A organized colleague. People looked a bit surprised and then almost relieved. Everyone wines and gets anxious. Sometimes its good to show you're vulnerable so they sympathize with you. Just don't do it too often. You have 4-5 more years afterall. Chill out, enjoy having a tenure track job and work towards making sure you feel stable.