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[testingthewaters]

I'm moving this conversation away from the TTC thread so that I can angst elsewhere without monopolizing that thread.

I'm finding the first trimester a very strange place to be. Aside from the mental adjustment of moving from trying to conceive to pregnancy, I've been spotting.... first in week 6, and now that I've just gotten over that scare, again at the end of week 7. After having taken nearly a year and a half to get pregnant, I'm really afraid of a miscarriage- I probably would be even if it hadn't taken this long, but the prospect of going through the TTC process again is not a happy thought.

Of course the spotting started when I got back from a week-long conference elsewhere on a Friday evening after office hours, so I can't call my doc until Monday to see if we can move up the ultrasound (now scheduled for week 10).

I was cool as a cucumber, but then this spotting started again and now.... not so much.

Just needed to vent.

[prytania3]

Testing, wishing you all the best.

[littlefred]

Hi testing, I can totally relate.

Hang in there, relax as much as you can. Is Friday already over where you are? Its still early afternoon here....

anyway, please come and join us on the pregnancy thread,  for this or anything else. We're all in various stages, but we've been chatting about lots of stuff.
http://chronicle.com/forums/index.php/topic,75817.420.html

Hang in there!

[testingthewaters]

Thanks for the thoughts, pry.

Littlefred, I appreciate the invitation, but I'm staying off of the pregnacy thread for now.... I'm put off by the thought of having that thread appear in my replies forever more if this does turn out badly.

I'm now going to take a very long nap.

[msparticularity]

Testing, I'm totally identifying with you; I, too, had two rounds of spotting after finally becoming pregnant with my daughter after two years of concentrated effort. The anxiety around the whole process is truly extraordinary, and I don't think anyone who hasn't been through it can even guess at how consuming it is.

My daughter is 23 now, BTW. I'm sending you nurturing thoughts!

[quotiazelda]

Testing, I'm thinking of you.

With Eldest Zelda (who is now almost 14), I had spotting at 6 weeks, then bright red bleeding at 13 weeks. It was terrifying! I will hope that your outcome is a good as mine was.

[littlefred]

testing, I can understand that.

I'll keep my fingers and legs crossed for you, and do the coonhound-hair-dance* (based on llanfair's patented cat-hair-dance)

[slinger]

I too, took over a year to get pregnant.  Testing, I know how terrifying spotting is. 

So do nearly every one of my friends who has been pregnant and many other women on the fora, as they have said in the ttc thread and the pregnancy thread.  It's totally, completely normal!

[emblem]

Wishing you the best, testing.

[palla]

Good luck, testing.  Please keep us posted on everything!

[testingthewaters]

You remember the joke about how you can't be "a little bit pregnant"? Funny, this feels just like being a little bit pregnant.

Still spotting daily, and wishing it would go away. But, the pregnancy test is still strongly positive and I've still got symptoms, so I've decided not to try to get in a scan earlier. If my reaction to the tests is any indication, it would reassure me for all of about a minute and won't change the outcome either way. I think I won't feel OK about this until the d@mned spotting goes away, but I'm going to give it my all to be zen until the scan in exactly 2 weeks.

{testing assumes lotus position and chants "Ohm....."}

[littlefred]

I see you are up at this early hour as well testing, and crusing the fora.

Thanks for the update. I had to smile because I've been similarily neurotic for most of the past 35 weeks.  First it was the spotting, then it was the heartbeat, then its something else.

I bought a hear-monitor so I could hear her heartbeat anytime I wanted. Best 20 bucks I spent the whole pregnancy.

If you have one of those kids consignment stores, they may have one cheaper. I've seen them there for less than 10.

I'll think good thoughts for you, and you can just try to be zen.

[prytania3]

Testing, still sending my best zen thoughts to you.

[shrimp]

If you can get your ultrasound done earlier, I'd say go for it.  If they can detect the heartbeat then your risk of miscarriage goes down dramatically.  That would give you more peace of mind and hopefully help you relax (a bit).  I was also worried throughout my pregnancy: first it was miscarriage, then some genetic defect, then early labor, then breech position, etc.  There was no basis for any of my fears, just knowing too much about all the risks.  Fortunately I went full term with no problems.
Sending you positive vibes!

[testingthewaters]

Zen didn't work out so well.

I've now gone from spotting to bleeding, with some cramping. I'm waiting for the call back from my OB to see if I can be squeezed in for a sonogram, but I'm not hopeful.