next »

[saltaire]

The reason I find mingus' reply depressing is that it suggests that the situation is bad, cannot be improved and the only way to deal with it is medication. This isn't what mingus said, but this is how I read it, and this is why I find the advice depressing. It gives no encouragement, and no advice on dealing with the problem itself (rather than the symptoms).

rumble, it is easy to feel isolated in the UK. British people respect other people's privacy, and protect their own to the extent that makes it difficult for a newcomer to get to know people well, and - even more so - to make close friends. It may seem that people around you don't have problems, when in reality problems are simply kept private/confidential, and it may seem that there's no one to talk to, because discussing personal issues at work is not common and is not encouraged (with the exception of letting your direct boss know).

If you do go and visit GP, keep in mind that in the UK your options and how they will be presented to you depend significantly on your own preferences. (The logic being that any medical help is more effective when the patient has faith in the positive outcome). Very often GPs present medication and counseling as two available options to fight depression, and patients choose medication as an easier route (no waiting lists, no need to make the time etc), without properly exploring side-effects of medication and without comparing it sufficiently to the counseling option. I would advise to say that you're open to all suggestions, and listen carefully to all the options presented to you. (And then you can lean towards your preference later anyway, but you will be better informed).

Respect your body. If you can, exercise. Join a local club relating to your hobby. Watch your diet - there's a lot of crap sold in the UK which can have a direct impact on your well-being. Avoid processed foods, cheap meat with more chemicals than meat in it, MSG, and watch how much sugar you consume. Drink enough water.

[alleyoxenfree]

One of my friends dealt with a similar situation in a foreign culture where it was difficult to "break in" for several years - and finally found that hu's solution was to seek out expats, not only from the U.S. but from other countries.  They were similarly the new kids in town, even though some had been there many years.  They now constitute each other's "family" in the U.K.

[sandgrounder]

I think Scotia is spot on in emphasising that right now is a miserable time to be in UK  or English HE. Many previously happy departments have imploded under the stress of job losses and uncertainty and even if we are not directly threatened knowing that friends are in awful situations leaves everyone on edge about their own futures. It just doesn't ease the transition for new arrivals.
I think the advice early on about not seeing this as having to be a permanent move is good. I work in a dept with quite a lot of non-UK academics, some of whom had ludicrously high expectations of life in the UK, which were inevitably disappointed. I honestly think one at least would be better trying to return to the US, where s/he had been clearly much happier, but s/he feels trapped because s/he'd sold the move to acquaintances as permanent and feels to return would be to admit failure. If you're really not happy, then try to at least see life as offering different options. Depression can really make you feel as if you have none. If you've tried as hard as you can to make your current location work for you and it doesn't, there's no harm in admitting that. I speak as someone who stubbornly stuck it out in a negative environment for me far longer than I should have done for my health.

[august_leo]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I've talked to several Americans over here and most (all?) said it took at least 2 years to start liking it here. I'm American and have been here since Fall 2007. I've suffered from depression before too but it is just different here. Now that I've been here for almost 4 years I can now say that "4 out of 5 days I really like it here." But, there is still that 20% of the time that can be really hard.

These things worked for me:

SAD: like other said, SAD is a very real thing here. I bought this lamp for my office. It was totally worth it! I use it from when I get in until about 2-3pm. "They" say SAD lights should be used for about an hour/day but it can be weeks without real sun here. Once I started using this light I felt better in a couple of days. I only wish I had done it sooner. I also bought some full spectrum light bulbs for my home for a couple of rooms. Warning: do turn your SAD lights off by about 8pm or you will be wide awake at bed time!

I also tried to embrace things about the UK that are actually really cool/"better" than the US. Like being able to take a cheap airline to another very interesting place for a "mini-break" or long weekend. Sure, my TT friends in the US can go to Chicago or Minneapolis by car, but I can get to Paris or Vienna or any number of really interesting places just as quickly (or sometimes faster). I've also tried to enjoy what London has to offer and cultural events in my area.

It does seem to help to keep in touch with friends from grad school (I started my job straight from grad school). For example, one of my friends, let's call her A.B., landed what I thought was my dream R01 job the year after I started here (I don't think they advertised when I was on the market). It turns out, talking to A.B. that her university <gasp> isn't perfect and she has to deal with all sorts of crap too. Sure, it's not REF and external examiners rewriting exam questions that are perfectly fine, but she has things that would also drive me crazy in a different way. My point is: it isn't necessarily better in the US (even at "dream R01s") and knowing that helps a lot. The fora are good for that too. -- Also, sometimes I get to talk about the UK and it turns out some of my friends over there wish they had some of the perks we have (e.g., maternity leave, holiday time).

Other things that helped were taking care of a few minor household things. For example, there is no outlet (mains) in my bathroom. Most British people I have talked to are shocked when I complain about this because "it would be so dangerous to have electric mains in the bathroom." When I say it's standard in the US, I get told "but that's only 110 volts, here it's 220." Um, in the rest of the EU it's 220 and they have mains. Grr. We actually have a 10 meter extension cord (lead) going from our kitchen to the bathroom. When I want to curl my hair or do something like that I just turn it on at the wall in the kitchen, curl and turn off. I don't use it every day, but knowing I could use it if I wanted to makes me feel like I have that much more control over my life and the day-to-day in this land where there is no Target, none of the non-grocery stores are open after 7 and there is no place to get coffee on campus after 3pm.

Anyway, those are just some ideas off the top of my head of what has helped me. I hope they are helpful. At the very least, I hope it is comforting to know that you are not alone.

[taltalim]

I fifth or eighth the SAD advice.

I moved to the UK from a very sunny country (not the US) a while ago, in time for fall semester in October. By mid-November, I was ready to spend the rest of my days in bed with chocolate and to read trashy books. Before I got around buying a warm comforter and the books, I had a session with Occ Health and then talked to my GP (thank you, NHS!). Both suggested to look first into SAD instead of 'regular' depression.

Since I was sharing an office for the first months, I could not put up a light box, but I replaced the light bulb in my lamp with this <a href="http://www.prozoneuk.co.uk/ioniser-energy-saving-light-bulb-screw-p-410.html">one</a> and bought a <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Apollo-Health-goLITE-M2-Light/dp/B000JPJM5K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1305689138&sr=8-1">mobile light box</a> that I used at home in the morning and then took with me to the office where I had another quick 20 minutes session in one of the restrooms after lunch.

It took about four to six weeks for me to feel better, but then I published a lot, went to conferences, and networked again. I did not disclose any of this to my department, but my contract is fixed-term which is a different situation.

Make an appointment with your GP and/or the Occ Health Service of your university today--my experience was that they are used to depressed international academics.

Hope you feel better soon!

[mingus]

The reason I find mingus' reply depressing is that it suggests that the situation is bad, cannot be improved and the only way to deal with it is medication. This isn't what mingus said, but this is how I read it, and this is why I find the advice depressing. It gives no encouragement, and no advice on dealing with the problem itself (rather than the symptoms).

rumble, it is easy to feel isolated in the UK. British people respect other people's privacy, and protect their own to the extent that makes it difficult for a newcomer to get to know people well, and - even more so - to make close friends.
 

OK, a less "depressing" answer: Spend more time at the local pub.  You will get happily loaded.  Also, it is not that British people respect privacy.  They are simply very insular;  but they tend to loosen up once a few pints have flowed down the gullet.

[drspouse]

As one who has mainly grown up over here, but worked/have family in the US, I actually found that my US friends and colleagues were less friendly in rather odd ways. For example, I love having people over to dinner but when I was a postdoc not only did my US friends not reciprocate (though they would suggest eating out) but they seemed to actively think it odd I would invite someone into my house. 

I had come from student life in the UK (which is very drop-in-unannounced) and had in the interim also lived in a developing country for a period, so I have all kinds of reasons for culture shock, but I found my neighbours in London also more friendly than in the US - especially once I'd got involved as a volunteer in community things, which is always a good way in to an area if you are new.

And I intermittently compare those on the same level in the US and their jobs to mine, here. Oddly almost all my very good friend/colleagues now work in London (though I'm outside London), including two or three of the US citizens (some who were transplanted over to the US and came back). So many of us gave up on the tenure track and many really enjoy living over here, and it's often partly for work reasons. I really appreciate not having to deal with every whining student taking my lectures, but having a central point of call in the department and central regulations for the university for whiners.

I'm not particularly affected by daylight but have had reason to call on the GP referral to clinical psychologist and have found that is their preferred first port of call if not very serious, moving on to drugs for those who don't find an answer in CBT.

[expatinuk]

As one who has mainly grown up over here, but worked/have family in the US, I actually found that my US friends and colleagues were less friendly in rather odd ways. For example, I love having people over to dinner but when I was a postdoc not only did my US friends not reciprocate (though they would suggest eating out) but they seemed to actively think it odd I would invite someone into my house. 

Weird.... I've lived in many places in the US and I certainly didn't find this true in the South (where I'm from) or in NYC (where I lived for almost 20 years). During my Ph.D. years I lived in a very small apt complex (24 apts) that was inhabited almost exclusively by grad students. We used to get together a couple of times a week for shared pot luck dinners.

Here in the UK I've had numerous BBQ's and invited neighbors over for dinner and not once has anyone returned the invitation. For Christmas I bake (I'm Southern... and we're born with a baking gene) and I give cakes/cookies/etc to my neighbors. They thank me, and give me a Christmas card... but that's it.

Even my Brit husband agrees that Americans are much friendlier than Brits.

[drspouse]

Baked gifts at Christmas are not a very British thing, so that doesn't surprise me - but dinner parties, inviting people over to barbecues - definitely British.

I do know that it's also a stage-of-life issue - the grad student complex where I was a postdoc was somewhat as you describe (this is SoCal though so people did tend to live in a more scattered arrangement), but the complex of cottages I lived in could have had 10 foot walls round each cottage for all people talked to each other.

And I remember one very awkward moment when I called round the apartment of the grad student who lived down the block (close enough that I usually parked outside his apartment because there were spaces on the street there but not outside my house), without warning, and he had guests - I never called round anyone's without a pre-arrangement again, even just for administrative purposes (to save a phone call or hand something over) - we don't get a lot of invitations for dinner or whatever here, though we do get some, but I drop round to pass information or make arrangements quite a lot. Here, where my acquaintances are within a couple of minutes walking distance, it would seem really weird to call first. If they are out I leave a note or send a text.