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[bms2000]

I am a female engineering instructor (full time, non tenure track). My department is an excellent place to work. We have a department chair who is very supportive of all his people, and particularly supports and encourages female faculty (given that we are a serious minority in the department). 99% of my collegues are similar.

And then there's this guy. In meetings, he will talk over female faculty and dismiss their ideas and comments rudely. With male collegues, it is always "Sorry for interrupting" and "I can see why you think that but..." This has been noted by male and female faculty alike. He has yelled at me over the phone, sent very rude and unprofessional emails to me, etc. His boorish behavior has been noted by other faculty (male and female), but no one seems to know what to do with him. I've generally taken the high road - responded with overwhelming politeness in emails, refused to drag the department head in unnecessarily, etc. But it has truly gotten to the point where I would refuse to coordinate a multi section class with this man ever again. The last time I had to work with him in this way the stress of dealing with him was worse than the stress of 55 students.

So my question is: is there a professional way to say "I'm sorry, but I just cannot work closely with this individual because he does not treat me with respect."? Or is this just a case of needing to stock up on Advil prior to the next time I have to work with him? Can anything be done in cases like this?

[zharkov]

And then there's this guy. In meetings, he will talk over female faculty and dismiss their ideas and comments rudely. With male collegues, it is always "Sorry for interrupting" and "I can see why you think that but..." This has been noted by male and female faculty alike.

Before the next meeting, tell the chair that you expect him to actively chair the meeting, and not to let interruptions like this occur.  Next time it happens, stop and address the issue to the chair then and there. Label the behavior publicly.

[tuxedo_cat]

And then there's this guy. In meetings, he will talk over female faculty and dismiss their ideas and comments rudely. With male collegues, it is always "Sorry for interrupting" and "I can see why you think that but..." This has been noted by male and female faculty alike.

Before the next meeting, tell the chair that you expect him to actively chair the meeting, and not to let interruptions like this occur.  Next time it happens, stop and address the issue to the chair then and there. Label the behavior publicly.

I agree that it is the job of the Chair to be aware of this sort of problem and keep this guy in line.  But given that the OP has no job security, and really loves her job, I would suggest finding a tenured faculty member (male or female) with whom she has a good working relationship, and who clearly recognizes the problem and ask for that person's advice.  People other than the Chair can call out this kind of nonsense in a faculty meeting -- or in the hallway.

[bluezebracat]

Document the behavior.  Talk to other female professors.  Circulate his misdeeds. Build consensus and get people to talk to the Chair.  Talk to the Chair yourself.

I'm sorry, this really sucks.  In a ideal world, you'll get a better job at another university, and with that job in hand, you would call out this SOB in public.  But in real life, it's a bit more complex.  But his behavior is probably not acceptable (there weren't too many details in your posting) or perhaps not even legal.

[tuxedo_cat]

Document the behavior.  Talk to other female professors.  

Yes, but the OP has already indicated that there are very few of these in her department -- and one unfortunately cannot always assume that a female faculty member will want to sign on for all of this.  She probably has her own stuff to deal with in a male-dominated discipline. 

OP, you will need the support of other faculty regardless of gender.  And it doesn't need to be your goal -- or responsibility -- to reform this jackass (who may turn out to be incorrigible anyhow).  It sounds like for the moment, you simply want to protect your own sanity in the workplace by not being forced to work with this jerk again.  It is fine to address this problem according to your own professional needs.  That's why the "Trusted Senior Colleague" approach may be your best strategy for the moment.

[lizzy]

Document the behavior.  Talk to other female professors.  

Yes, but the OP has already indicated that there are very few of these in her department -- and one unfortunately cannot always assume that a female faculty member will want to sign on for all of this.  She probably has her own stuff to deal with in a male-dominated discipline. 

OP, you will need the support of other faculty regardless of gender.  And it doesn't need to be your goal -- or responsibility -- to reform this jackass (who may turn out to be incorrigible anyhow).  It sounds like for the moment, you simply want to protect your own sanity in the workplace by not being forced to work with this jerk again.  It is fine to address this problem according to your own professional needs.  That's why the "Trusted Senior Colleague" approach may be your best strategy for the moment.

I agree--go to someone who's been supportive and who's been around long enough to understand the dynamics of the place and what your options might be. I also agree that the OP should carefully document interactions with the rude colleague, and do everything in her power to keep her distance from him. If the possibility arises of having to coordinate the multiple sections with him again, can you just politely refuse? 

[bms2000]

Thank you for all the sound advice. I will definitely enlist some help from some trusted tenured folks - I've got a couple of good friends in that crowd.

This guy is like a big mole on the face of an otherwise atractive person. I feel valued by the department overall, and enjoy what I do. But try as I might, this guy raises my blood pressure to boiling every time I interact with him. And he arrived with tenure, so I can't even do human sacrifices and voodoo dolls to ensure that he gets denied. (Might do it for fun and stress relief though...)

I have definitely gotten the documentation message too. The last annoying email he sent happened to be copied (by him) to the department head and a few of my trusted tenured folks. The department head hasn't mentioned it, but several of the others were saying "What's his problem?". So I guess there is hope.

[tuxedo_cat]

Good luck, OP.  It's so unfortunate that one, obnoxious, entitled bully can make the entire environment of a department so unpleasant.  I hope you find someone who can help you continue the work you enjoy without being harassed by this guy.

I agree with others about the standard "document document document" advice, although I'm not sure how much you will want to fantasize about any sort of official action against this faculty member -- at least not initiated directly from you.  Other forumites with more comprehensive legal knowledge may give you more precise advice about this, but nothing that you've described so far sounds like it would provide a nice, sturdy portfolio of "actionable" conduct.  Unfortunately, it isn't illegal to be a jerk.

If I were in your shoes, I think I would enjoy the "psychological armor" of having that file of documents around, I guess!

[lizzy]

Good luck, OP.  It's so unfortunate that one, obnoxious, entitled bully can make the entire environment of a department so unpleasant.  I hope you find someone who can help you continue the work you enjoy without being harassed by this guy.

I agree with others about the standard "document document document" advice, although I'm not sure how much you will want to fantasize about any sort of official action against this faculty member -- at least not initiated directly from you.  Other forumites with more comprehensive legal knowledge may give you more precise advice about this, but nothing that you've described so far sounds like it would provide a nice, sturdy portfolio of "actionable" conduct.  Unfortunately, it isn't illegal to be a jerk.

If I were in your shoes, I think I would enjoy the "psychological armor" of having that file of documents around, I guess!

If I were the OP, I'd hang on to everything for two reasons:  1) somewhere down the line, maybe the Chair could be convinced to not make you work with him,  and 2) somewhere down the line, the rude colleague might try to move beyond rudeness to cause you more serious kinds of trouble.  In either case, you'd have something concrete to draw on to protect yourself.

Hang in there, OP. Why not have a relaxing lunch with your friends in the department?

[larryc]

So my question is: is there a professional way to say "I'm sorry, but I just cannot work closely with this individual because he does not treat me with respect."?

That is the professional way to say it.

I agree that your more senior colleagues and chair should be stepping up here. They likely do not see the full situation and you need to make them aware. You can play the naive victim here to good effect: "Hi Steve. Have a minute? I need some advice on how to deal with Dick." Move the conversation to position Steve to speak up on your behalf without actually asking that he does so. "Have you noticed how Dick always cuts off whatever I or any of the female faculty say at the meetings? No one ever calls him on it--is that just the way it is here?" Say this the day before the next meeting.

Then give Dick more opportunities to display his boorishness publicly. Speak up in the meeting and let Dick cut you off. If he shouts at you try to make it happen in the hallway. Put the phone on speaker and open the door.

[bms2000]

Thanks larryc.

Although given that I have two grade school boys with a love for the literary genius that is Captain Underpants, this guy's code name in my house is not Dick, but Professor Poopypants.

(Those of you with small boys are nodding right now. Those who do not have small boys probably think I have gone off my rocker. You'd be right.)

[drfitz]

Mine are grown, but still rather scatological. My eldest was famously popular as a child for his ability to break wind at will. He recently threatened to do so AT HIS OWN WEDDING if the ceremony dragged on too long.
I can only repeat the advice already given.  Men who like to bully women often have well-founded insecurities about their masculinity. When I worked with a tyrannical woman hating control freak, I used a rather sick making creative visualization to explain to myself why he was the way he was. Definitely not for the squeamish, but with two boys in grade school I'm betting you are over that.

[alleyoxenfree]

By "document," consider openly taping the meetings.  Just put the tape recorder on the table and start taping.  Let him imagine why.

Also, when he cuts you off, refuse to yield - force him to begin to shout in order to talk over you.  Watch a little talking-heads TV to get the hang of it.  You turn to him and as someone else suggested, call him out politely but firmly by saying something like, "Bob, I'm speaking here," and then turn back to the chair or whomever and continue with your point.  Make like a filibuster and continue speaking until he shuts up.  Do this every time.  Basically, everyone sees you're being bullied and they are doing nothing.  Fight back, pleasantly, but firmly.

[larryc]

. My eldest was famously popular as a child for his ability to break wind at will. He recently threatened to do so AT HIS OWN WEDDING if the ceremony dragged on too long.

I admire your son above all other men for his awesomeness.

[drfitz]

I admire my son enormously, though less for his peculiar gift than for his insight into humanity. When he was in H.S., and I was being abused by my own Dr. Doo-Doo Drawers, a Chair, I came home in tears after a faculty meeting in which Count Ca-ca Coulottes ridiculed me for having positive student evaluations-it was because I was too "Mommy-like" and had no standards. He also, I swear to God, made fun of my clothes. OK, I was wearing sack like things, because of stress related food comfort behavior, Birkenstocks, because of mysteriously swollen feet, and headscarves because my hair was falling out. I did actually resemble a potato famine refugee who was bearing an uncanny resemblance to a potato, but as it was all his fault he need not have pointed it out in just those terms.
He said I was a poor role model to female students who might want to be professionals.  No one at the faculty defended me at all, not even the other women.
This is common. Take her, not me. People are grateful not to be the victim themselves this time. Then he announced the department was taking us all to lunch. (Public humiliation followed by a lavish meal? Needless to say, I was later rebuked for my absence from the "mandatory party.")
 My beautiful son came out of his room, as I was wailing like Mother McCree in hope of someone's love and attention, and  he said that as an openly gay teen, he had taken his fair share of bullying too. He didn't tell us because it wasn't important. "The minute you let them inside your head is the minute they've won." He then said, "I f**t in his General Direction," and proceeded to let forth his Basso Profundo. This is the one he threatened us with at the wedding. He threatens his husband Ari with it too, but like me, my son-in-law has a taste for low comedy.
My son was absolutely right. In this case, Duke Dog Defecation had tangible power, and I, as an untenured year to year, did not. However, I was a good little workhorse, Birkenstocks and all, and the Dean liked me.  I calmly documented the many abuses of Chair Crapola, and told Dean Decent that I was leaving because I could not work with Feces Furher. In the meantime, I was determined to minimize all contact.
He reassigned me to another department, where I taught the same courses under a differing description, and made believe this was all part of Dean Decent's "Interdisciplinary Vision."
I am a semi-Chair now-as in Acting Chair until someone else is stupid enough to do it- at a different institution, and if the legacy of Professor Poopy Pants (he is dead now, and I am not-hee hee) is that I am hyper aware of the dynamics of academic workplace bullying, though short of my son's solution to anything he doesn't like, I am unsure what to do about it. 
He has a good job as a software engineer, otherwise I'd rent him out to departments with overlong faculty meetings.