• Tuesday, May 29, 2012
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Author Topic: "I can no longer be friends with you..."  (Read 13524 times)
bartislartfast
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« Reply #60 on: January 29, 2012, 10:52:51 PM »

I hesitate to jump into the middle of a thread for my first post, but since this thread seems to be resurrected from time-to-time, perhaps I may be able to help some people feel a bit better about being in this situation.

I graduated with my doctorate this past year, and conducted a pre-graduation job search.  As chance had it, there was a position open at a small regional engineering school.  After submitting my application materials, I sent my sister -- an Associate Prof. in a cousin field, so to speak -- a heads-up note to ask if she'd keep her ear to the ground about the job just to let me know anything she heard.

I found out that, due to the size of the department, they had enlisted some professors from other departments to assist with their search -- including my sister.

I didn't get the job.  Not even on the long short-list (to borrow from several other threads' terminology).  I did get a nice note from the SCC about the rejection, but never really talked about it with my sister.  It would've just made an uncomfortable situation even more awkward -- more for her than for me, I imagine.

This is all to say that if acquaintances or friends wind up on separate ends of the search committee, it could be far, far worse.
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xckrx
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Posts: 45


« Reply #61 on: January 30, 2012, 11:01:20 AM »

Ugh, I think the OP dodged a bullet! That does not sound like a genuine "friend" at all. If I stopped talking to every friend of mine who was at a department that declined to hire me, it would get very lonely around here... lol

Edited to add that I see this is an old thread. Still a relevant one, though, especially as this is a time of the year when lots of folks are getting or giving bad news.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2012, 11:02:25 AM by xckrx » Logged
fedscholar
Hey, life's all good now that I am a
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Posts: 1,113


« Reply #62 on: January 31, 2012, 06:20:02 PM »

Maybe it is just me, but I would have been pesky in another way. I would have wanted to know all the scuttlebutt on the selection, what the average qualifications of the candidates were, who rose high, who was otherwise qualified but a turnoff,etc.,etc. 

It is all very cloak and dagger to me at this point.
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gbrown
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Posts: 320

Always very nearly hired


« Reply #63 on: February 01, 2012, 06:45:39 PM »

This isn't nearly as serious, but I have a friend who published a good mainstream writing textbook. I proposed it at my college; it lost out to another text. I'm not sure how much my friend would have made, but she e-mailed me about the "progress" and I had to tell her that my college did not choose her book.

Fortunately she was kind about it and we remain friends. But I could see how it could have gone the other way...

In this case, I was able to share that I championed her book so I could see how it softened the blow.
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Whatever happened to taking ownership of one's own education?
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