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zharkov
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« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2011, 02:08:59 PM » |
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But I am nervous to even make that move.
I certainly should not send anything explicit in my emails, should I?
If she agrees, then it would still be difficult to gauge her interest...
I call DOOGIE. |
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« Last Edit: April 08, 2011, 02:10:25 PM by zharkov »
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__________ Zharkov's Razor: Adapting Zharkov a bit to this situation, ignorance and confusion can explain a lot.
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mafff
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« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2011, 02:19:05 PM » |
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Well, I might sound retarded because it has never occurred to me that I would be interested in a student. I might indeed be too early to ask for advice on this forum...
I am concerned because should I ask her out I will be using my official email address. That is going to be risky ...
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frogfactory
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« Reply #17 on: April 08, 2011, 02:20:54 PM » |
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Get a Gmail address, then.
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At the end of the day, sometimes you just have to masturbate in the bathroom.
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chaosbydesign
"I like to lyse bacteria. Did you know I'm utterly insane?"
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,371
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
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« Reply #18 on: April 08, 2011, 02:21:49 PM » |
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I am concerned because should I ask her out I will be using my official email address. That is going to be risky ...
Why? Is there a reason you could not use a personal email address? |
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Seriously, I tried to lick my own face. Ah. Typical ivory tower pedanticalness.
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mafff
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« Reply #19 on: April 08, 2011, 02:23:12 PM » |
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However, if all of a sudden I shifted to a personal email address then it would also look suspicious (before I could even tell if she is interested), if you know what I mean.
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chaosbydesign
"I like to lyse bacteria. Did you know I'm utterly insane?"
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 12,371
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
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« Reply #20 on: April 08, 2011, 02:26:24 PM » |
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I think you're over-thinking this.
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Seriously, I tried to lick my own face. Ah. Typical ivory tower pedanticalness.
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voxprincipalis
Foxaliciously Cinnamon-Scented (and Most Poetic)
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 17,444
Has potentially infinite removable wallets
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« Reply #21 on: April 08, 2011, 02:31:18 PM » |
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Well, I might sound retarded because it has never occurred to me that I would be interested in a student. I might indeed be too early to ask for advice on this forum...
You might sound what? Here's what I think: You were hoping to troll your way into a trainwreck, but since none is apparently forthcoming, you needed to up the ante by putting in things like how easy it will be for you to get tenure, the use of a school email account for a romantic email, and, just for good measure, let's throw in the word "retarded." Choo-choo! VP |
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If you need me, I'll be hiding under a rock until mid-August. Try not to need me, unless you come bearing Chinese food.
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87735501111
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« Reply #22 on: April 08, 2011, 02:39:24 PM » |
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To derail this misleadingly salacious thread - I personally think that use of the R-word is persisting because there isn't a good alternative yet. d-bg gets there partly, but it just doesn't have the same ring... a-hat again, close but no banana.
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reener06
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« Reply #23 on: April 08, 2011, 02:45:05 PM » |
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Wow, maff, you are overthinking this. Just ask her out. It's kinda like AFTDJ, but ask her out. The worse she could say is no. You won't lose your job, it won't risk your tenure, and you may have a pleasant time that could turn into something more. ASK THE DAMN GIRL OUT. With any old email. Or, on the phone, like the old-fashioned way. Or hell, send her a letter before the government shuts down. But, ATDGO.
Or spend another weekend reading journal articles and sighing.
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aprilmay
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« Reply #24 on: April 08, 2011, 02:55:28 PM » |
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Will she graduate soon? If so, I suggest waiting until she is no longer a student at your school at all. If she is still a student, especially one in your program, you will be on shaky ground even if she's not in your class as you could be involved in discussions or decisions about her (discipline committee, selecting students to meet with speakers, etc.).
Do NOT use work email to ask out a student. I find that inappropriate. If you don't know her well enough to use her personal email, you shouldn't be doing this at all. You implied that you don't know if she is interested or not. But you must think it is a possibility?
Read your university's policies. Some do not allow professor-student relationships even if she's not in your class. In some schools, it's just the current students that are forbidden.
The best case scenario is that she happily starts dating you, and that some professors and students are appalled and some jealous. The worst case scenario is that she says no and reports you for sexual harassment as a professor at her current school is hitting on her. I think the worst case scenario is unlikely. In all cases, it will get around campus that you asked out a student. I don't think your tenure or job would be on the line, depending your school's policies, but your reputation is. Only you can decide if she's worth the risks and what the risks are for your university. If you can befriend her for now and hold off until she's graduated to date her, that would avoid many of the potential pitfalls.
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mafff
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« Reply #25 on: April 08, 2011, 03:06:40 PM » |
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yes, she will graduate soon indeed.
Are you suggesting that there will be no pitfalls if everything starts after graduation?
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palla
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« Reply #26 on: April 08, 2011, 03:08:39 PM » |
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Good grief! If you are interested, ask her out. Playing the what-if game is getting you nowhere.
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oldfullprof
Not really retired...
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Representation is not reproduction!
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« Reply #27 on: April 08, 2011, 03:13:58 PM » |
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Never read university policies. I never do. Instead print the following on the cover of your copy:
"I have not read the policies contained herein, and I am not responsible for complying with any of them."
Then sign it directly below.
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Someone please tell me to start entering data, rather than screwing off here.
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anthroid
Annoying bad luck snails
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No happy socks because nobody gets Manitoba.
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« Reply #28 on: April 08, 2011, 03:15:39 PM » |
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yes, she will graduate soon indeed.
Are you suggesting that there will be no pitfalls if everything starts after graduation?
Don't date her. Ever. Upthread, Carebearstare advised you never to date anyone, since every person in the US, pretty much, has been or will be a student of someone's at some time historically, now, or in the future. That may be a little overblown, but my advice to you is not to date her at all, ever, and stop responding to her emails, because the pitfalls are many, there is a clear and present threat to your tenurability, people will hear about it and refuse to publish your journal articles, and your penis and/or breasts will fall off with no warning. The consequences, as you can see, are quite dire when professors ask students out. It's all in the handbook. |
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Do you hail from Planet Hello Kitty? It's like an action movie, but boring.
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tinyzombie
She of the Ass-Kicking Socks, and a
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Posts: 7,442
elevate from this point on - chuck d
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« Reply #29 on: April 08, 2011, 03:16:26 PM » |
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Are you suggesting that there will be no pitfalls if everything starts after graduation?
Of course not! We can see into the future, after all. <pulls up a lawnchair> On preview: I love anthroid. So much. |
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Correct, as usual, TZ. That's because you are not Dude. TZ, however, is Dude. TZ is my favorite. I wish YOU began with A. |
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