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[mindz]

So we found that we will be welcoming our 3rd baby this year. I just accepted (verbally) a TT position in a mid level R1 V High research. I had many offers this year and this one came last and we thought is the best for our family.

Any how, should I let my department chair know that I am pregnant? I had plans to visit the university before signing the offer. The baby will be due in the first semester of my appointment where I do not have to teach according to our pre-negotiated deal. However, I have plans to set up a large research laboratory and appoint many people. I am not feeling weak or anything. But I feel like people may not take me seriously (including people who would interview for postdoc positions with me) when I land there for my job with a huge belly and less energy than they seen me with.  I have many other worries also about time management and so on.

My husband will also be joining for a new job in that location.

I have been asked to visit soon to discuss lab space and other stuff. I worry it is not safe to fly during first trimester. I do not plan to tell many people untill at least 3 more months. I do plan to continue my ambitious research program, sumit grants... hoping that I will be in decent health.

So any words of wisdom? Will the new department feel sort of cheated? I hope not. Well I guess this one will be our last baby. We can't do TT and more than 3 kids..

[mended_drum]

Congratulations!  Tell your new supervisor once you have signed the contract.  You'll need to go over leave policies, tenure clock, etc. 

If you don't feel comfortable flying, you can always cite a doctor's recommendation that you don't fly at this particular time, and give a preferred date.  You don't have to explain why until you've signed the contract.

There is no way to tell how your new colleagues will react.   A few places or people may be annoyed; a few may be delighted; most will just accept it and deal with it like every other time a faculty member has a child. 

[sir_lancelot]

There will always be people who are disappointed or annoyed. But apparently, you have managed 2 pregnancies and raising 2 little kids while having a high powered research career. You just got a brand new job, better than the previous one I suppose, as a result of those achievements. You will deal with kid no. 3 as well and still be successful. Don't worry about it.

[mindz]

Thank youSir_Lancelot and Mended_drum. I know that we are excited about this news. Yes I have a done some good work before, but I will be starting somewhat new line of research soon (related to my previous) and I am worried that I can't travel and network like others.

For example there is a big conference next month that I planned to go mainly for networking and learning. But now I am thinking that not going may be safer ...

Qn. for those who have STEM field TT jobs: Did you travel soon after accepting your position to choose your lab space and so on? Or did you just show up weeks before your first day.

It just seems like we planned it all to be this way. But fact is we would have tried for this baby wethere or not I had accepted this job. I am worried as to how I will break this news..
 

[hegemony]

As far as I know flying during the first trimester is perfectly safe, unless you have other complications.  You should certainly ask your doctor, but I certainly did it. 

I would definitely get the contract signed before telling the folks at your new place, which you will want to do before too long.  (But perhaps after the first trimester has passed, given that early miscarriages are quite common, which of course I hope is irrelevant in your case, but still.)

[niceday]

Flying during the first trimester is safe. Are you worried about background radiation? It's safe even for cabin crew who fly a lot.

I'd wait till I'd signed the contract and then inform everyone. Don't assume people won't respect you with your pregnant belly! You've just gotten a great job; obviously, people respect your work. They might respect you even more when they realize that you've been able to do your research so well and parent multiple kids.

Congratulations!

[sea_and_ski]

Qn. for those who have STEM field TT jobs: Did you travel soon after accepting your position to choose your lab space and so on? Or did you just show up weeks before your first day.

To answer this question, yes, when choosing/specifying space, earlier is better.  If there are multiple hires you want to get the "best" (for you) choice of space and if there is any remodeling to be done it will always take longer than expected/promised.

For travel, your experiences with your first two pregnancies are the best indicator for this one.  If you traveled well during the first trimester of those, then you should be able to travel okay with this one.  However, if any concerns discuss them with your OB before traveling.

And, congratulations!

[adjunctprincipessa]

Wow!  Congratulations!  I'm sure it will be tough to start a new job with a newborn, but it is very impressive that you have been so successful with (almost) three children in academia!

[mystictechgal]

When I first read this post, a few minutes after you posted it, I had only one thing to offer--and it wasn't advice, so I figured you wouldn't want to hear it.

Now? Nothing has changed, except that you have received some good advice in the meantime, so I will offer what I can...

Congratulations! On the impending birth of your child, and on the new job. You've managed academia and gotten to where you are while giving birth to, and raising, two children? You'll do fine.

(As for flying? Check with your doctor, sure, but it should be fine. The cabin is pressurized, after all. Now, if you were diving? Different story. BTDT.)

[mindz]

Thanks everyone for the good wishes.

Like I said, I am no super star. I have done fine untill now. What happens next remains to be seen. So far my job was more flexible with little to no teaching. Teaching load in the new place is 1/1. In the first semester I will not be teaching. I am looking forward to teaching though.

Thankfully so far we are lucky that everyone is in good health. I worry that if in case something happens our health or kids health or if something unlucky happens, I will have harder time handling three kids and a TT job.
Okay, time to go back to being the optimistic self.

I feel horrile that now I can't lift my little ones. I am worried about miscarriage. I tell them I am feeling sick. When husband is not there, I had to help youngest climb into the crib. We stacked some plastic containers on a chair. She loved that experience though. I feel like pregnancy is so disabling.. Once they are out, it is mostly loads of fun.

It seems like my family makes me strong and weak at the same time.

[mccfan]

I don't understand why you can't lift your little ones. Unless you have a back problem, lifting a small child should not be a big deal.  Just lifting a small child will not cause a miscarriage. Are you sure you aren't believing some old wives tales. People have believed all sorts of untrue things that help them cope with the insecure feelings that come with being pregnant.

[mindz]

One of them is a big toddler weighing close to 30 lbs who stills likes to sleep in a big crib.

[mccfan]

Are you saying that you can normally lift your 30 lb child, but now you won't lift him/her because you fear it will cause you to miscarry?  If so, consider the following (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/20023745/ns/today-today_health/)

What about lifting heavy objects? Is it true a pregnant woman should not lift anything heavier than 25 pounds?
Not completely true….but not false! Late in pregnancy a woman’s ability to safely lift a load decreases, mostly because her center of gravity and balance have changed and additionally because the hormones of pregnancy have caused her connective tissue, ligaments and tendons to soften. So if she lifts a heavy load she can injure herself, but will probably do no harm to the pregnancy or the baby. There are no studies that show that lifting more than 25 pounds has an effect on birth weight or prematurity. 

The current recommendation is that the maximum load a pregnant woman should lift in late pregnancy should be reduced by 20 to 25 percent from that which she was able to lift in her pre-pregnancy state. 

Source: Dr. Judith Reichman (qualifications available at: http://judyreichman.com/?page_id=2)

[larryc]

Congratulations!  Tell your new supervisor once you have signed the contract. 

Exactly right.

Big week at your house, eh?

[onthefringe]

Depending on what you are doing now and various financial/family issues, you might consider seeing if you can defer your start date. R1 universities rarely need new hires to start on a specific date the way more teaching oriented places do. If you start at the beginning of Spring semester, and have Spring be your non-teaching semester rather than fall, the baby would be a bit older and you would probably get more out of your teaching leave (ie it might let you  actually get your lab set up, rather than allowing you to cope with a newborn). Depending on the university, a mid-year start may also shift your tenure clock, essentially allowing you to ramp up a bit more reasonably after the baby comes.

We recently had a hire who did just this, and it has been well received. We've also had new hires defer for a whole year, which could be another option.