rebelgirl
"The only and thoroughbred lady" --Joe Hill said so.
Senior member
Posts: 692
"A hardened English teacher"--Disgruntled Student
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« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2011, 02:52:23 PM » |
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Hi, MTG: I didn't mean "evil" in a bad way! But I'm going to take your suggestion to send his essay to his coach. I hadn't quite thought about how insulting what he turned in really is. I doubt he'll have any life changing epiphany . . .
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I blame all of our problems on that frikkin' Timmy. Lassie should have left his lazy @$$ in the well.
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mystictechgal
Happy in my "full, rich adulthood", and as a
Member-Moderator
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 9,940
One step at a time
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« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2011, 03:14:26 PM » |
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Hi, MTG: I didn't mean "evil" in a bad way! But I'm going to take your suggestion to send his essay to his coach. I hadn't quite thought about how insulting what he turned in really is. I doubt he'll have any life changing epiphany . . .
Oh, we're good. I knew what you meant. Don't discount the possibility of his having an epiphany, though. Pissed off coaches have means at their disposal, not available to "mere" professors, that can quite effectively trigger them. |
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If a pouting pluot ploughman planted pluots in a plot, and the plot were ploughed on Pluto, would his pluot ploy play out?
"Is all the same, only different" -- Dr. H. L. |
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tstone07
New member
Posts: 43
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« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2011, 01:14:03 PM » |
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Dear Baseball Player Jackass:
You know how you feel when the other pitcher hangs a big, juicy fastball out over the fat part of the plate, and you take a mighty swing at it, corkscrewing yourself into the ground as you hear the "thwack" of ball hitting leather, and just for a flash see, out of the corner of your eye, the umpire winding up to call "strike three"? You know how that feels when you're down a run, it's the ninth inning, and you were the last at bat with two outs? Do you?
If you do, you must now feel exactly the same way. Because you whiffed on this juicy pitch too. Unlike in baseball, however, I don't grade on a curve.
F
+10000000000 That was....phenomenal!!!! I haven't laughed that hard in a loooooooooooong time! |
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gbrown
Senior member
Posts: 320
Always very nearly hired
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« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2011, 01:19:02 PM » |
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That's amazing. And he is one of many who will be responsible for my care as I grow older.
Sob.
I once taught existentialism through several texts in a literature course. One student was frowning, leaning over his paper the whole class time, and then turned in an absolutely blank sheet of paper.
Genius? Or rip-off? After we talked about his reasons for doing this, I allowed him a 2nd topic to actually show he could write. This was done in a testing area so that other students were not aware of my allowing him a redo.
So yeah, I get where you're student is going (nowhere) and hope that my student was being honest and thoughtful when he did what he did. We'll never know...
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Whatever happened to taking ownership of one's own education?
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rebelgirl
"The only and thoroughbred lady" --Joe Hill said so.
Senior member
Posts: 692
"A hardened English teacher"--Disgruntled Student
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« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2011, 08:10:11 PM » |
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Tee_bee's extended baseball metaphor is a thing of beauty.
And now I bring you--the sequel!
I sent the essay to both my dean and the coach. My dean had some colorful observations about the magnitude of b.s. From the coach, so far, crickets.
BS Ballplayer showed up in my office to ask why he failed the course. I told him to look at the grade breakdown (which was pretty simple). Our conversation:
BSBP: I don't understand why I failed. I tried really hard . . . and I never missed a class. {no kidding--he actually said this}
RG: OK, if you're going to waste my time lying, I'm going to ask you to get out of my office right now. You know d@mn well that you missed plenty of classes, and you know I know.
BSBP: OK. I'm sorry. I guess I did miss some. But . . . why did I fail the final exam essay?
RG (recalling CHE comments & biting tongue to avoid laughing): Because it had nothing to do with the question.
BSBP (widens his eyes): The exam had special questions? Where?
RG: On our [course website] . . . covered in class . . . when you skip classes, you actually miss important things.
BSBP: Yeah . . . I guess I did. So . . . can I redo the exam? Since I didn't know the question.
RG: No. The quarter is over.
BSBP: I can't fail this class. I need to keep a 2.0 for financial aid and to play.
RG: My math says one class won't wreck your GPA unless you act the same way in all your other classes.
BSBP(pauses & looks sheepish) Um . . . I got a 2.0 in my other classes. So this is going to drop me.
RG: You dropped yourself. Of course, if you'd like to appeal, I will give you my supervisor's phone #.
BSBP: No . . . that's ok. I guess it's done. Thanks for talking. I guess I'd better go tell my coach.
RG [(bites tongue; decides to let coach surprise BSBP): Goodbye.
At least he was at least polite in the end. But wow, I wonder what coach will say?
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I blame all of our problems on that frikkin' Timmy. Lassie should have left his lazy @$$ in the well.
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dr_alcott
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« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2011, 08:27:24 AM » |
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Well done, RebelGirl.
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I am an insanely elegant, super classy poor white, for the record.
I love everyone here!
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cathwen
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« Reply #21 on: March 25, 2011, 10:56:45 AM » |
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Way to go, Rebelgirl!
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john_proctor
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« Reply #22 on: March 25, 2011, 12:18:26 PM » |
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What am I to say in response to this? Ah forumites, what would you say?[/i]
I'd not say or write anything; I'd merely photocopy the paper, file it, and enter an F for his final grade. But, then, I have tenure. |
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"Look upon me! I'll show you the 'life of the mind.'"
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rebelgirl
"The only and thoroughbred lady" --Joe Hill said so.
Senior member
Posts: 692
"A hardened English teacher"--Disgruntled Student
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« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2011, 05:47:40 PM » |
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Hi Forumites,
My phone rang on Friday during office hours. Guess who? Yup, Mr. BS Ballplayer. . . .
BSBP: Hi, Mrs. Rebel. This is BSBP. I found out how we can fix my grade in [literature class I failed epically last quarter].
RG [loving the idea that "we" are now a "team" out to "fix" his grade]: Really?
BSBP: Yeah! All I have to do is give you a rewritten exam about the actual question.
RG [wondering who on God's green earth told him this at the end of the 2nd week of the next quarter & remembering the coach never got back to me]: And who told you this?
BSBP: [crickets]
RG: Unfortunately, whoever told you that was misinformed. If I give you a do-over, I have to offer the same option to anyone in the class who'd like a chance to raise the grade.
BSBP: But if it's special circumstances?
RG: Not reading directions and skipping review sessions don't constitute special circumstances. It's a new quarter, and I have to focus on the classes I'm taking now. I suggest you do the same.
BSBP: OK bye.
RG: [big sigh]
And on we trudge, toward summer break.....
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I blame all of our problems on that frikkin' Timmy. Lassie should have left his lazy @$$ in the well.
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dr_alcott
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« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2011, 05:54:10 PM » |
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Not reading directions and skipping review sessions don't constitute special circumstances.
Sounds like syllabus language to me! Good work, RebelGirl. |
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I am an insanely elegant, super classy poor white, for the record.
I love everyone here!
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llanfair
Village idiot and Very
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 23,199
Whither Canada?
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« Reply #26 on: April 10, 2011, 06:28:43 PM » |
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Hoo boy, RebelGirl! D'you suppose the coach was behind that brilliant suggestion of a do-over?
<making feverish notes to self, so can use all RG's best lines in similar situations>
Well done you!
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This place stinks like a pair of armoured trousers after the Hundred Years' War.
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mountainguy
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« Reply #27 on: April 10, 2011, 06:55:52 PM » |
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Thank you for holding the line, Rebelgirl, and for demonstrating professionalism in the process.
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dr_evil
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« Reply #28 on: April 10, 2011, 09:09:20 PM » |
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Hi, MTG: I didn't mean "evil" in a bad way!
Evil is never bad. :) Rebelgirl, I am amazed at your restraint when Big BSer called about "fixing" his grade. I don't know how I would have kept from laughing out loud at such absurdity...but my fuse is running short right now. |
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Drinking a lot always helps.
Wheeeeee! You go, oh evilicious one.
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geonerd
Creator of the award for heroic avoidance of dangling prepositions AND a
Distinguished Senior Member
Posts: 5,577
Do not take the bait
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« Reply #29 on: April 10, 2011, 09:35:23 PM » |
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This thread reminds me of a graduate student who withdrew from my class due to 1. failing and 2. I was about to report him for academic misconduct. The next semester he came to see me to tell me "The registrar said you never entered my grade, and need to enter a new one." He sat patiently while I looked up his record and verified that the withdraw-failing was, in fact, correctly recorded. The only way I could enter the new one was if he repeated the course and earned a better grade. I never heard from him again.
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"Is this the water?"
"Yes."
Traffic doesn't care what I think of it. |
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