next »

[mountainguy]

Not really sure where to post this, but I've been having a terrible time recently focusing/getting work done. I know I have things I need to be doing (like writing a dissertation and getting ready for a national conference), but I just can't seem to find the motivation to get work done. But I can't figure out if it's just a mental block on my part, or something biochemical is going on.

I'm already on Zoloft and Amitriptylline for moderate episodic depression and seem to have responded pretty well to it so far. The feelings of hopelessness and gloom are gone, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more productive. Any ideas?

[lizzy]

MG, If I were you, the first thing I would do would be to see my doctor about this to clear up any possible chemical/biological reason for your blockage. Are your meds or your diagnosis related to what you're feeling now? If so, what can be done about it? 

Beyond that, what strategies might help you to recharge your interest in your diss and the job search? Taking a break, working out, getting a hobby, etc...

But could it be that anxiety about ending grad school, entering the job market, and embarking upon your professional life might be causing you to stall a bit? This strikes me as a normal reaction. If this is the case, give yourself a break. Lots of people  find themselves in this situation. Can you talk to your advisor or DGS or some other trusted mentor?

Best, best, best of luck and all good thoughts to you, MG.

[prytania3]

Try Wellbutrin instead of Zoloft. Wellbutrin isn't in the same drug family as Zoloft. The SSRIs have always made me shun productivity.

[alleyoxenfree]

If it's not the drugs, one thing that strikes me is that both the things you're talking about are sort of large and formless.  In the case of the dissertation, it's also something you've been working on for a long time, so at this point, excitement may not be in the cards.  I would make a list of individual tasks you could accomplish on each score, literally tick them off in 15 minute increments - or what sometimes works for me, 45 minutes of work followed by 15 minutes of bad TV.  I can do that for a number of hours.  Then take a physical break and go do something enjoyable.

Jobhunting is a drain so treat yourself kindly in all possible ways.  Don't flog yourself into accomplishing these goals.  Take baby steps and a few more steps and acknowledge your incremental arrival at "ready" for the conference and "done" with the diss.  A few pages a day add up.  Setting a page goal works for me more than a time goal, because then I'm motivated to do it as soon as possible so I can go do something else I'm enjoying more.  Allow yourself not to have to enjoy the diss if you don't anymore; just stack those pages up, give it a light revision, and be done with it.

[merce]

I am so sorry MG. If you're good at remembering who is who on here then you know I've been there. It stinks.
It does seem like it takes time after the gloom lifts to actually realize it's lifted and you are free to move about and circulate and stretch your legs and ...then...finally...write.

I wouldn't push on the diss right now. Try to breathe for a bit and see if you don't fall back into work in a day or a week.  Pushing often makes me more anxious and so more miserable and shoves me back into the dark from whence I'd just emerged. 

On the other hand, sometimes if I do have to have to have to push for some reason, starting with a really small task or to do list can sometimes jump start my interest again.  So while I normally would go with the most difficult and unbearable task first and move towards pleasure, if things aren't going well I might pick the smallest on my list or the most pleasurable.  So, a good little paragraph to add to the diss about something I know all about and want to mention. Or preparation of syllabi for a job application.

[systeme_d_]

I don't have great productivity advice, MG, since I am an incredible procrastinator myself.  I need that last-minute adrenaline, evidently.  I am NOT a good role model in this area.

But I do know that sometimes you've just got to cut yourself a break.  I know you're hard on yourself, MG, so there it is.

And Alley has a great point: baby steps.  If you just aren't sufficiently motivated to get a lot done, make sure you do a little bit, but daily.

[embitteredhistorian]

This may not help, but my only advice would be to mix work and pleasure; do your reading in coffee shops. Plan essay structures while walking in the park. If you're in the humanities, try to reflect on how your current emotional state might shed some light on your research.

[patchouli]

MG,  I'm sorry you're not feeling up to your best.  I know how this goes.  Post graduate school, I went through a bit of this myself.  I know a friend who just took a small breather.  Maybe this is what you need to do for a bit--even a week.  The advice above about medications is helpful, as well. 

[scotia]

Mountainguy, not sure if this is your situation, but it sounds like something I have trouble with periodically and which I now recognize as mental exhaustion. My doctor likens it to a circuit in which the bits get hot periodically: the circuit needs to take a lower load or shut down entirely in order to cool down again and function effectively. Two things he has persuaded me to do when I recognize that I am struggling to do stuff:

(1) give myself permission to be tired and not do anything work-related for a few hours (if it happens during a day when I have to be at work for teaching or meetings), or preferably to have a whole weekend as a break if this is possible. During this break I should not feel guilty about not doing <insert job that I am putting off> but regard it as a way of preparing better for when I do have the mental energy to get on with it;
(2) have an agreed period (say 9 am - 5 pm) when I will accomplish what I can, and at that point stop even if I have not finished what I set out to do that day.

The other thing that I sometimes do is to substitute work that I regard as a chore (grading, sorting out admin stuff) with something that I regard as fun and for the longer term (e.g. reading a book that is interesting but not directly related to what I am working on for research just at this moment, but which may be relevant in the future).   

Many of our admin staff, in particular, are very resistant to the idea that a concentrated period of thinking and writing is tiring. A lot of people are able to recognize physical burnout as an issue, but fail to recognize that long concentration on a limited number of tasks (like writing a dissertation or preparing for a conference) is more tiring that turning up for a few meetings and changing tasks frequently) is also very hard work.

[infopri]

Hi, mountainguy.  I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.  You said that the Zoloft and Amitriptyline were working, and if your hopelessness and gloom are gone, then certainly they must be having an effect--but that doesn't mean that this particular combination/dosage is the best possible treatment for you.  There are all sorts of anti-depressants out there, and figuring out the right drug(s) and dosage is to some extent a trial-and-error process.  I would talk to your doctor and describe your lingering issues (the difficulty focusing, the lack of motivation, etc.).  Be honest about the possibility that it's just a mental block, but don't assume that that's all it is.  You might find that an adjustment in the meds helps.

Good luck, from someone who has been there.

[bioteacher]

Mountainguy, I'm sorry to hear you're a member of the club. No one ever wants to join this club, but here we are.

Do talk to your doctor about drugs. I was on Prozac for years and had side effects (that I didn't recognize as such until I was off it). Zoloft was worthless for me. Celebrex is the right drug for my body chemistry. Fewer side effects and actual help with the depression. I'm proof that slightly different formulations can have radically different effects for an individual.

Baby steps are key. And for me, baby steps with concrete rewards are even better. If I do X for 30 minutes, I get to do Y for fun RIGHT NOW. I have been at the point that that small task looked like Mt. Everest and the only way I was going to even make a dent was to have a tiny goal and a huge reward.

I'm also a convert to the value of physical activity. I've been sick a lot this fall and not able to get to the gym. It would be so easy for me to just let the gym go now that I'm finally feeling better. I'm busy. I'm tired. I'm under a lot of stress. I'm apathetic about some big tasks I absolutely must get done. I'm burned out. And so this week, I'm getting my butt back to the gym. Because I know from experience (last year) that I feel better, sleep better, and cope better when I get some exercise. I will never like going to the gym. I will never look forward to it. But going improves my overall quality of life, and so I will go. As a certified couch potato, this is huge.

Post a list on your wall:
1. Call doctor.
2. Small goals, big rewards. Plan them out.
3. Lower you standards overall. You're not going to be at 100% for a time. Forward progress is good enough.
4. Get active physically.

Good luck! You can do this. And use the fora to report successes whenever you can. I have found it helps me tremendously to check in with a few hundred cheerleaders for a bit of "atta girl" now and then.

Bioteacher

[msparticularity]

I  think it's also important to remember that intensive research processes cause their own special kind of mental exhaustion--and it's pretty easy to confuse that with lingering depressive symptoms. The first step, I would think, is to try to tease apart what is happening just a bit.

If it's mental exhaustion then a short break (no more than a few days) with some alternative and enjoyable activities (reading something completely different, getting out to cultural activities, etc.) should help. It's important that they be engaging, so the mind actually has something to do. Notably, too, if mental exhaustion is the problem then you'll be able to enjoy doing other things--although it may take a day or two to switch gears. Typically, then, one can return to the project re-energized--if it's mental exhaustion.

If this is lingering depression and/or side effects of the meds, then my experience was that I couldn't concentrate on anything--including fun activities, art exhibits, enjoyable reading, and so on. I couldn't get up enough energy, not only to work on my research, but to do much of anything else.

Which of these clusters is your experience falling into, MG?

[mountainguy]

Quick update . . . I think my conference trip last week was the break I needed to recharge my mental batteries. Scotia's circuit metaphor really makes sense here. I'm still not quite feeling 100% in terms productivity, but I'm now finding the motivation to get work done again.

[crumpet]

If it's not the drugs, one thing that strikes me is that both the things you're talking about are sort of large and formless.  In the case of the dissertation, it's also something you've been working on for a long time, so at this point, excitement may not be in the cards.  I would make a list of individual tasks you could accomplish on each score, literally tick them off in 15 minute increments - or what sometimes works for me, 45 minutes of work followed by 15 minutes of bad TV.  I can do that for a number of hours.  Then take a physical break and go do something enjoyable.

Jobhunting is a drain so treat yourself kindly in all possible ways.  Don't flog yourself into accomplishing these goals.  Take baby steps and a few more steps and acknowledge your incremental arrival at "ready" for the conference and "done" with the diss.  A few pages a day add up.  Setting a page goal works for me more than a time goal, because then I'm motivated to do it as soon as possible so I can go do something else I'm enjoying more.  Allow yourself not to have to enjoy the diss if you don't anymore; just stack those pages up, give it a light revision, and be done with it.

I also had problems with depression-related issues when I was writing up. I followed a plan similar to the one outlined above and it really worked for me. I still approach work through biting off small chunks and it works well for me.

I am glad to see that your conference break helped you Mountainguy. Hopefully the break and some of the suggestions posted here will help!

[dellaroux]

One writing support system is to have 5 friends with whom you email, leave messages on their machines, or speak to directly every working day of the week.

It's a 2-minute update: what you did yesterday, what you plan to do today, and what you think you'll do tomorrow.

They don't have to reply or respond in any detail, unless they want to or notice something to bring to your attention.

All good thoughts--glad things seem better, the attitude is gratitude.