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[biomancer]

A semi-serious prediction:  I bet that Jondalar's tiny cousin Joplaya, the one who carries the huge torch for him & on the rebound married the big tall part-Neanderthal (Brouhaha, wasn't he named?) will have to have Ayla invent the C-section to deliver their baby. 

Okay, if Ayla invents the C-section, I'm going to puke all over the book.  One of the least realistic aspects of this series is the lack of maternal and child and infant mortality. 

Agreed!  That said, I still wouldn't put it past Auel.

[anthroid]

A semi-serious prediction:  I bet that Jondalar's tiny cousin Joplaya, the one who carries the huge torch for him & on the rebound married the big tall part-Neanderthal (Brouhaha, wasn't he named?) will have to have Ayla invent the C-section to deliver their baby. 

Okay, if Ayla invents the C-section, I'm going to puke all over the book.  One of the least realistic aspects of this series is the lack of maternal and child and infant mortality. 

Agreed!  That said, I still wouldn't put it past Auel.

Actually, I'd lay even odds that Ayla--being the healer that she is--will invent the forceps first.  The c-section will need to be invented AFTER she comes up with the notion of surgery in general.  That will be in the second part of the book.  She'll use mammoth tusks.

[larryc]

So.  The 6th "and final" (doubt it) volume in Jean Auel's "Earth's Children"/Ayla series, The Land of the Painted Caves, is due March 2011.

Can nothing be done to prevent this? It is like the earth is about to be struck by a gaseous, poorly-written meteor or something, and we are all just standing around talking about it.

[rebelgirl]

So.  The 6th "and final" (doubt it) volume in Jean Auel's "Earth's Children"/Ayla series, The Land of the Painted Caves, is due March 2011.

Can nothing be done to prevent this? It is like the earth is about to be struck by a gaseous, poorly-written meteor or something, and we are all just standing around talking about it.

As Mark Twain wrote:  "Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it."  Unless you want to camp out with a picket sign in front of Borders, I'm afraid resistance is futile.  But cheer up . . . you can always dodge those huge smokin' chunks o' prose devoted to Paleolithic sexual positions & recapitulation of every character's life story & motivation! 

Anthroid . .  didn't Ayla take her shot at domesticating the cat with "Baby" the cave lion back in book 2?  I thought it was cool that she tamed a cave lion before she got around to taming the wolf. . . .

Maybe in this book she'll tame the hamster, put it in a wheel (which we've already established she'll invent), and hang it over the latrine pit to help dispel the smell. . . .

[sootgirl]

So.  The 6th "and final" (doubt it) volume in Jean Auel's "Earth's Children"/Ayla series, The Land of the Painted Caves, is due March 2011.

wait - i thought the last one was the final book. (and it was not that great) - i then doubt the 'last'-ness of this one too

[anthroid]

Anthroid . .  didn't Ayla take her shot at domesticating the cat with "Baby" the cave lion back in book 2?  I thought it was cool that she tamed a cave lion before she got around to taming the wolf. . . .

Maybe in this book she'll tame the hamster, put it in a wheel (which we've already established she'll invent), and hang it over the latrine pit to help dispel the smell. . . .

*slaps head*

Of course, you're right.  She discovered something those of us in the 21st century still haven't learned:  the cat owns us--it is not the other way around.

As for the latrine pit, I seem to recall pithy discussions about lime and latrines already, so she's conquered poo.  We know she knows what to do with urine (that's how her deerskins cling so provocatively to her sylvan form). 

What's left?  The Sham-wow?

[spork]

I'm guessing Auel will have to go out with a bang:  Ayla will domesticate the cat.


[. . .]

No, the cat will domesticate Ayla, providing a starting point for an Anne Rice-ish series about the cultural evolutionary effects of cats.  Book 1 will be about an Indo-European cat.  Book 2 will be about an ancient Egyptian cat.  In Book 3, the descendants of those cats meet and mate, something happens, and the Black Death results.

[mouseman]

I'm guessing Auel will have to go out with a bang:  Ayla will domesticate the cat.

Or, less fancifully, she will invent the automobile but, out of love for Jondalar's ecological sensibilities, she will drive it off the edge of a cliff after stuffing it with saber-toothed tigers, woolly mammoths, and Neanderthal children, perplexing later generations of anthropologists.

I admit that this is a guilty pleasure for me too even as I laugh at how silly the entire series is.  Auel does get many of the anthropological details correct (and recent evidence seems to indicate that homo sapiens sapiens [us] may indeed have mated extensively with Neanderthal in Europe and the Near East as the book series maps out) but ... it's completely unbelievable.  Enjoyable, yes, but we must all suspend credulity with the books.

I may wait for the paperback.

Seriously - her descriptions of the Neanderthals are so bad, based on 1950's paleontology and preconceived notions, such as Neanderthals being bow-legged, stooped, with crooked arms.
Of course, we should also mention the basic racism in the first books:  the tall, blond, "progressive" Cro-Magnon who know how to pleasure a woman, versus the dark-eyed, dark haired, Neanderthal who is against technological and social progress, who treats women badly, and only has sex in doggy-position.  Of course, the two blond, blue-eyed heroes also are responsible for every technological invention of the neolithic. 

[anthroid]

I'm guessing Auel will have to go out with a bang:  Ayla will domesticate the cat.

Or, less fancifully, she will invent the automobile but, out of love for Jondalar's ecological sensibilities, she will drive it off the edge of a cliff after stuffing it with saber-toothed tigers, woolly mammoths, and Neanderthal children, perplexing later generations of anthropologists.

I admit that this is a guilty pleasure for me too even as I laugh at how silly the entire series is.  Auel does get many of the anthropological details correct (and recent evidence seems to indicate that homo sapiens sapiens [us] may indeed have mated extensively with Neanderthal in Europe and the Near East as the book series maps out) but ... it's completely unbelievable.  Enjoyable, yes, but we must all suspend credulity with the books.

I may wait for the paperback.

Seriously - her descriptions of the Neanderthals are so bad, based on 1950's paleontology and preconceived notions, such as Neanderthals being bow-legged, stooped, with crooked arms.
Of course, we should also mention the basic racism in the first books:  the tall, blond, "progressive" Cro-Magnon who know how to pleasure a woman, versus the dark-eyed, dark haired, Neanderthal who is against technological and social progress, who treats women badly, and only has sex in doggy-position.  Of course, the two blond, blue-eyed heroes also are responsible for every technological invention of the neolithic. 

I don't know that she's all that far off the mark with regard to physical characteristics of European Neanderthal, though she starts out in what seems to be Turkey, and Neanderthal there may not have been quite so bulky.  But based on current evidence, Neanderthal were very heavy-boned.  I don't think Auel is quite as extreme as you're intimating, Mouseman.  There are a number of examples in her books of the Neanderthals having satisfying sexual relationships and intense pair-bonding with deep emotional ties (which may actually be incorrect...).

Plus she describes Neanderthal as clearly inventing the first psychedelic trip.  Dude.

[tenured_feminist]

Let's see, I am trying to remember what's left, though I like all the suggestions so far. Based on the extensive and careful foreshadowing thus far, here's how I see the plot developing.

The Wonder Twins grow up in the super day care center Ayla invents in the first third of the book. They share the toddler cave with Joplaya's miracle child whom Ayla delivers by C-section after inventing the obsidian scalpel and the epidural. Joplaya recovers to live happily ever after with Brouhaha, but her allergy to the birth control pill Ayla brought over from the Neanderthals creates Dramatic Tension. Ayla invents epiphedrine and saves Joplaya, but then has to invent the vasectomy. While she's at it, she gives a shout out to the fora by circumcising Brouhaha. His new and described-in-excruciatingly-boring-detail schlong becomes the big hit of all the Summer Gatherings for several years, and Ayla thereby becomes the first mohel in history.

But let's not forget that the Wonder Twin boy (Alydar? No, that's a horse. Jonayla? Can't recall.) must grow up to Confront Dramatically Ayla's Long Lost But Not Forgotten Mixed Spirits Son Durc.

Actually at this point I'm kind of hoping for an ultimate collision of trainwreck endings as Durc ends up running into and assimilating into his tribe the half-Cylon daughter of Athena and Helo. The two of them then have kids and die tragically but Ayla takes in the Cylon-human-Neanderthal grandchildren, who teach her the basics of Greek mythology so that she can pass it on by inventing writing as her deathbed contribution to the future of humanity.

[kiana]

Actually at this point I'm kind of hoping for an ultimate collision of trainwreck endings as Durc ends up running into and assimilating into his tribe the half-Cylon daughter of Athena and Helo. The two of them then have kids and die tragically but Ayla takes in the Cylon-human-Neanderthal grandchildren, who teach her the basics of Greek mythology so that she can pass it on by inventing writing as her deathbed contribution to the future of humanity.

hahahahaahahaahahahahahaha!  I'd pay for that one in hardback :D

[macaroon]

Oh, my - Tenured_feminist... I just saw your post and I'm laughing!

Someone PM me when the book really does come out.  I think we need to have a forum book club for this one.   I have to read it now, and I need someone to snark with me.

[anthroid]

Oh, my - Tenured_feminist... I just saw your post and I'm laughing!

Someone PM me when the book really does come out.  I think we need to have a forum book club for this one.   I have to read it now, and I need someone to snark with me.

I'll be part of that club, as long as we can also re-read the sex parts frequently.

[toothpaste]

I was in my friendly neighborhood independent bookstore today and saw a "reserve your copy now" for the 6th volume--end of March, folks.

I think I'm going to pass on it until a library copy is available...if I am up to it. I tried re-reading volume 4 about a year or two ago and found it so awful I couldn't get all the way through it. Too bad, since the first and second volumes were important to me as a kid.

[rebelgirl]

*sigh* I "caved" in [ducks missiles hurtling out of spear-throwers] and ordered the hardback for moi, the audiobook for my dad, who loves this series but is now legally blind.

I have to say that I love the idea of a forum book club to read this thing when it lurches its way onto the shelves.  The shared snark would be great fun.