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[zarathustra]

I've just found out, via email, that my dad is home from the hospital, 5 days after he was admitted with severe rectal bleeding.  He needed 2 pints of blood transfused.  No diagnosis after a colonoscopy (to check for ulcers) or bleed scan, just a bland diet for awhile.

Gah!  I turned to the fora for answers because I can't call anyone right now...

1.  Why didn't Mom call one of us?  I know she's hard of hearing, and we're scattered all over the country, and perhaps she was at the hospital day and night and couldn't email, but I think she could manage a phone call.  She must've called an ambulance.  They're reasoning for this type of thing before (Mom's scheduled triple bypass) was "Oh, we didn't want to worry you guys."  Grrrr!

2.  What the heck causes rectal bleeding like that?  My dad's father died from an aneurysm...is this similar? 

3.  They just went vegan a few months ago...surely that wouldn't cause this catastrophe, would it?

4.  GAhh! Just....GAHHHH!

Insights welcome. 


GAHHHHH!

[bread_pirate_naan]

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad.  Lots of people go into denial where health matters are concerned, and talking about it  acknowledges that there is suffering, risk, insecurity and a lack of control.  Dependent personalities are also challenging in health related situations.  Not that it helps, but few people are well adjusted where mortality is concerned.

The lack of a diagnosis is weird.  If it were a common cause of bleeding they would have seen it (colitis, diverticulosis, hemorrhoids, cancer).  You'll want to ask what sort of exams they did in the upper GI, which is more closely associated with rapid and severe bleeding.

This info based on 'experience' was fact checked via medicinenet.com

[zarathustra]

Thanks for these posts!  They're very helpful.

[prytania3]

Zara, I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I can't give you any medical advice, but I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.

[glowdart]

Another thought: If they are eating a lot more roughage and nuts, then might that set off diverticulitis?   (Would that get caught on a colonoscopy though?) 

[skinnymargarita]

So sorry about your news. Possibly cancer, probably not aneurysm (that would probably bleed internally). When our folks don't keep us posted on what is going on with their health it makes it doubly hard to guess what is going on with them. I have trouble following my parents health issues as well. My mom told me months after she had a heart problem while out of town and had to make an emergency stop. On my birthday she called me from the hospital (but didn't tell me that) to wish me happy birthday. She wasn't doing well and did not let me know so as to not worry me. I would be ok with the truth, it is the guessing games that makes me crazy!!

[gennimom]

Another thought: If they are eating a lot more roughage and nuts, then might that set off diverticulitis?   (Would that get caught on a colonoscopy though?) 

A colonoscopy would catch diverticulosis and -itis. I was told once, based on a CT scan, that I had diverticulosis. I've had a couple of colonoscopies since and both doctors have asserted that I do NOT have diverticulosis.

[post_functional]

I don't have answers, but I'm posting to extend my sympathy. My grandparents were like this--not wanting to "bother" anyone with their life-threatening health crises. My father was also like this, to an extent.

Mine too.  When he had a heart attack, I got on a plane immediately and flew from the west coast to my midwestern home state.  When I saw him in the hospital, he said, "You didn't have to come all that way for this."  It was a heart attack about which his doctors said it was miraculous he survived.

I also extend my sympathies.

[motherofgods]

No answers here, either, but I also extend my sympathies.  My grandfather passed away this fall.  We were all alerted after he was involved in a pretty serious car accident that fractured his spine in several places.  Little did we know that the spinal fractures were probably the result of the collision plus the massive malignant tumor in his chest that had metastasized into the bones.   Long (and emotionally exhausting) story short, he died of the cancer  11 days after the accident.  No one, not even my grandmother (his wife of 60 years,) knew that he had been diagnosed with cancer and refused treatment more than two years ago.

[zarathustra]

Thanks for all the empathy! It was really helpful and insightful.

Mom emailed and said that yes, Dad had been checked by a gastroenterologist, and that they had found some diverticulitis, but not enough to cause the amount of bleeding he had suffered.  It was probably the 8-10 aspirin he had taken over the week because of pain he had felt, maybe from the diverticulitis.  My dad has always been sensitive to aspirin and with low white blood cell counts (is that it?), he's supposed to avoid taking any.

What's more alarming is that my dad hadn't been feeling well for the past 6 months, which is partly what prompted my mom to taken them on a vegan diet, which is working great for her! But now Dad has to go a super-bland diet of no cruciferous veggies, no beans, no seeds, no whole grains and only cooked fruit.  Poor Mom--has always disliked cooking and now has to figure out TWO menus for each meal. 

[testingthewaters]

Zara, I just wanted to add my sympathies. My mom tried this several times on me; fortunately, my siblings live close to my parents and call when something serious is up.

BTW, that diet does not sound like fun at all. My sympathies both to your mother, who has to figure out what is left to cook, and your father, who has to eat it.

[lemonbar]

My Dad had prostate cancer several years ago and has just recently told us. He went through chemotherapy and everything and never mentioned it.

My parents have always been this way about their illnesses (don't want to tell us so we won't worry)...so, I've finally gotten to the point that, well, I don't worry. It sounds terrible, but what can I say or do about someone who refuses to tell me they have or had cancer? If that is the way they want to deal with it, there is not much I can do or say to help them. All I can say is that it has to be hard on them when one of them is sick...they have no support system, and must go through the crisis by themselves.

[racketsports]

I'm really sorry to hear about your father's health problems, zara. Also, it sucks that you had to find out the way that you did. Sadly, my parents' MO is quite similar, although in their case their reticence extends to the health prognoses/lives of friends and family members as well. My mother had BC and basically told us a few months after she found the lump. What makes the situation even more unfortunate is that I can't not worry (although I think you're smart to do so, lemonbar.) I am somehow able to pick up on the 'not quite right' vibes so of course not worrying isn't really an option.

Best of luck to your parents as they adjust to your father's new diet. I hope it helps him feel better, at least.

[cgfunmathguy]

Zara, you have my sympathies.

However, everyone whose parents are keeping their medical information quiet should know that they're not doing you any favors. A significant number of diseases---some of which don't appear until late adulthood---have a genetic component. My parents know that I expect to know about health problems, especially when they are newly diagnosed, so that I can take care of my own health with regard to screenings based on hereditary factors. If I didn't know about these, I would be less likely to visit a doctor and be screened, and I already don't like going. This is wrong, selfish, and detrimental to the health of people you supposedly love. Time for everyone to have a serious sit-down.

[post_functional]

I think that's a very good point.