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[mrs_jinx]

My partner and I (we are not married) did our PhDs at the same non-US university. My partner is a citizen of that country; I am American.

I got offered my dream job in the US this year, a TT at a great school in an ideal location -- I always thought I'd want to come back, but I didn't think it would be so soon. My partner, who is very accomplished, will be on the market next year (he currently has a great post-doc).

I was hoping some people might have some advice about what I can reasonably ask of my new institution. The job was so good I didn't want to ruffle any feathers by trying to negotiate, and they did mention that he could be a visiting scholar whenever we want. What I'm wondering is,

-What is reasonable to ask of my new university?
-How much does the fact that we are not married make a difference?

We would be very happy to have a permanent attachment to this university, but if we can't solve the two-body problem there, it might mean me taking a less-great position elsewhere (maybe even back in the country where we were graduate students). 

Any advice would be sincerely appreciated! (I do realize that this is a case of having cake ...)

[lurkergirl]

What does the institution define visiting scholar as? If it's basically library access and an affiliation, then that is good because it allows him to keep doing his work, but it isn't such a huge deal to the institution and I wouldn't worry about marital status (except for the whole visa issue -- for that reason alone it might make life easier to just get married if that is a possibility). If that means an actual paid position then that is hugely different.

If you have already signed a contract then you can ask for anything but you aren't likely to get anything added at this point. But if you haven't then you still have leverage.

[spyzowin]

My guess is that it's too much to ask for you to correctly spell the word "much".

[mrs_jinx]

Thanks lurkergirl. The contract is already signed; I didn't press because when I first mentioned that I'd like to defer for a year they told me (in a very nice way) that if I couldn't come this year they'd have to offer the position to someone else, so I panicked a bit and accepted the offer as-was. Anyway -- I would have taken this job under any circumstances, since it really was the dream one (and they both knew that and had a strong list of other candidates who'd been deemed appointable).

We're not so worried about a visa at this point; I think visiting scholars can get those any way. What I'm really wondering is how I raise this issue now, and with whom?

Many thanks again for the response :)

[mrs_jinx]

My guess is that it's too much to ask for you to correctly spell the word "much".

Alexi, I was wondering how long it would take for someone to comment on the typo.

But really, my mistake was obviously a typo. At least I know not to split my infinitives. If you're going to be a pedant, try to get your grammar straight when you do it!

[spyzowin]

My guess is that it's too much to ask for you to correctly spell the word "much".

Alexi, I was wondering how long it would take for someone to comment on the typo.

But really, my mistake was obviously a typo. At least I know not to split my infinitives. If you're going to be a pedant, try to get your grammar straight when you do it!

I never split infinitives in languages where it matters, eg French or Latin.

[obprof]

My guess is that they will happily give him library access / an affiliation, without too much hassle, as long as he is in your department (or as long as your department is on good terms with his department-to-be).

BUT: to get an offer for a tt position at your new school, he will probably have to get an offer for a comparable tt position somewhere else (rather than just the post-doc).

Even better would be for his new institution to offer you a position as well -- so that you can go to your school and say that unfortunately you will need to leave unless he can be accomodated.

[aprilmay]

Congratulations on your dream job. Based on my colleagues who have gone through this, if you are a same-sex couple the lack of a marriage will not make a difference. If you are not a same-sex couple the lack of a marriage will hurt chances of consideration for your spouse.