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[mathspice]

Niceday - I just started researching play areas over the weekend. Where did you get your foam playmat? I've seen numerous ones online and I'm not really sure which one is the "best" of the bunch. We don't have big stores in our region (i.e. no Babies R Us), so I buy everything online. And thank you SO much for the "toy lot" Ebay suggestion. That is a treasure trove I just discovered thanks to you!

Here's what we bought from Target and still have 6 years later. It appears they have a wider array of colors now:

interlocking foam mats

We still love them!

[niceday]

Niceday - I just started researching play areas over the weekend. Where did you get your foam playmat? I've seen numerous ones online and I'm not really sure which one is the "best" of the bunch. We don't have big stores in our region (i.e. no Babies R Us), so I buy everything online. And thank you SO much for the "toy lot" Ebay suggestion. That is a treasure trove I just discovered thanks to you!

thenewyorker - Man, does your life sound familiar. I am always behind. I missed a grant deadline because I was just too swamped this week to make it. I have a book chapter due this Friday. I have a book manuscript due to a publisher (I have an advance contract) in December, which I haven't even begun to work on yet....sounds like we are in a very similar boat. I would love to be a member of a googlegroup on tenure track mommying if there is one that exists. Please send me a message if someone starts one!

msparticularity - I agree that I am going through a sophomore slump. My first year was exhausting and I am way more jaded about academia than when I started this job. I'd like a year off!

Foams: I got these: http://www.americanfloormats.com/softfloors-interlocking-tiles/. As of yesterday, FEBSALE10 coupon got you an extra 10 percent off. I'd call and ask them if I could still get the discount. I'm sure the Target one is just as good too. Pick whichever you can get fastest for less money.

Another thing I urge you (and myself) to do is to stop trying to figure out "best" of the bunch for most products. Too many choices, not enough difference. Huge time and energy suck that seems not to pay off.

Few months ago, I was comparing all sorts of umbrella strollers and wondering which one was best, blah, blah, blah. Then I really had it and thought, screw this, I'm not going to spend my life trying to navigate the baby-industrial complex. I bought the cheapest one at $19.99 and thought I'll just throw it out if he hates it. He's just fine. Same with lots of other stuff. Don't agonize, just pick. Nowadays I give myself 15 min research time and I just click on buy.

The week after he started crawling and before we had the play area was really tough. I remember when it was all set up and I put him down for the first time. And went and made some coffee. Without carrying a baby. I just slumped into the kitchen chair and sat there for a long time.

Also remember they are supposed to play by themselves. Currently, he's hanging out with a shape sorter while I read student papers (and sneak into the Fora!)  Put a variety of objects and let her explore. Another thing that keeps them occupied is to rotate the toys and objects so things appear novel.

A separate group for t-t moms would be great. Not sure an open forum is the best. While lots of people are supportive and I got a lot of good advice it doesn't always work that way. In my last thread on the Fora, I got told that I should have "my wife" start a "mommy group" in the area:-) And that I shouldn't whine because I have a low teaching load! (In my case the lower load translates into pressure to publish, write grants, etc. I got one NSF grant deadline and one accepted-but-needs-to-be-modified paper deadline for next week alone...)

[navelgazer]

We have playmats we got on Amazon. I think they are these ones, except when we bought them they were a lot cheaper:

http://www.amazon.com/Multi-Purpose-Reversible-Charcoal-Anti-fatigue-Childrens/dp/B000V9IB0G/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1267713999&sr=8-5

We used to live in a house with concrete floors, so his whole room was covered in them. Frankly, it just didn't make much of a difference. We use them in his room at our new place mainly to protect the hardwood floors, but also because they are bright and colorful.

My son used to play by himself, and then from like 14 months - 21 months that just wasn't an option. Now, at 22 months, he is back to playing (and "reading"!!!!) by himself. I work hard to "train" him to do this, like sitting in the back yard watching him play while reading. My husband prefers to just play with him, but I think this is the difference between a lab scientist and a humanist (me). I have to work at home! My husband can't!

We just don't buy stuff. It cuts down a lot on the researching toys time. The grandparents get him stuff, we sometimes pick something up at garage sales / Target.

[janedoh]

Just as an FYI--Little Jane 2 (who was born 8 months into my TT position) is now about a year old. LJ2 will play quietly for surprisingly long time periods, but not when in an enclosed area. We are thinking about enclosing the work space (to keep baby away from favorite "toys" like printers and keyboards) and using baby gates to control how wide the roaming area is.

A major life-saver for us is crockpot cooking. See http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/ for some terrific ideas. We make oatmeal in it for the week every week (we all eat it for breakfast) and 2-3 meals that we can use for dinners and hot lunches at work. Extras get frozen and rotated in for variety. Saves lots of time and money, and avoids too much meal prep with baby around.

GL Redhound. It gets easier. LJ1 is now 3.5, and much more independent. We lucked out in that both kids slept through the night before 1 year, but were unlucky with naps (LJ1 stopped napping at age 2, LJ2 was down to one short nap by 4 months). For a while, LJ2 used to sleep 8 hours, but started at 2 am. It took a lot of doing to move bedtime to 9pm, now 8pm for 10 hours or so. LJ2 is not yet weaned--I am not sure weaning and sleeping through go hand in hand.

[navelgazer]

Just as an FYI--Little Jane 2 (who was born 8 months into my TT position) is now about a year old. LJ2 will play quietly for surprisingly long time periods, but not when in an enclosed area. We are thinking about enclosing the work space (to keep baby away from favorite "toys" like printers and keyboards) and using baby gates to control how wide the roaming area is.

Oh, yes. My son always hated being confined, even during his first play-by-himself stage.

Am I really the only one whose song went through a 7 month "no daddy no book, sit daddy play" stage? Where if we even leaned back onto our elbows he would come over and push us up and say "no, mommy SIT." So glad that seems to be passing.

[marigolds]

Oh, one more thing that saved my life: BABY CARRIERS.  Get a nice one, like an Ergo or a good mei tai (no, I don't work for Ergo) and wear baby on your back.  If you bounce on an exercise ball, he might let you sit down; some non-sleepy baby types will take much longer naps this way than they will in a crib.  I bought a bookstand and put it on my filing cabinet (eye height) and played music for him and bounced around while I read with earplugs in.  I also went for long walks around our quiet neighborhood with him on my back and read while I walked (which I've been doing since I was four.  YMMV on that one!  Don't fall and squish baby, or run into a sign if you're not already a practiced reader-while-walking!) 

Anyway, this was also the ONLY way I got housework done - we snuggled and giggled and he was happy, but I had BOTH hands free to load dishes or fold or what have you.  Really cut down on any whining and tantruming too - I could pop him on my back and he'd calm right down.  He still asks to get in the carrier fairly often, and talks about it fondly, at 3 1/2. 

[lolar2]

I am insanely jealous that your baby allowed you to do housework while wearing him on your back.

[thenewyorker]

The BEST carrier is the Beco Butterfly II. I switched from an Ergo and it has been my favorite purchase. It is so amazingly easy and comfortable to use. Love, love, love it.

I wear baby everywhere. Strollers are a pita on the subway. I just throw a changing pad in my purse and go.

We also love our crockpot. Martha Stewart also has some great slow cooker recipes. But I have used the website mentioned above as well.

A googlegroup would only be viewable to members. I will post more about it later. Time for bed....

[marginalia]

My son loved to be carried in a Baby Bjorn, and it was literally a life-saver. However, beware of the baby's flailing arms, especially if you are trying to cook!

OP, it gets much better very quickly. It doesn't seem like it when you're in the process, but the months pass, and suddenly your little baby is a toddler. Toddlers have different challenges, but you get more sleep - which is the magical thing that allows you to become human again. Good luck!

[niceday]

I also have the Beco and it's great but I have not figured out how to wear him on my back. Newyorker, are you wearing your kid on your back? Our kids seem to be the same age.

I used to answer emails while he nursed! Never tried the housework while trying to wear the baby. Interesting idea.

Some of my department members keep asking me to bring the baby to school. I could do that for things like faculty meetings as I'm there only for the meeting that day. It's a bit of a pain because I have to arrange a sitter for the duration of the meeting but that's doable.

Do you all do that? I don't mind anyone else's child around but I know that it changes the way some people view women -- the mommy-track, you know. On the other hand, I do have a few senior colleagues who keep haranguing me about when they get to see the baby again. (I brought him once to introduce him to everyone but haven't done it since).

[zuzu_]

You don't really mention what your spouse is doing in terms of child care. I am assuming he works "regular" hours. Assuming he is home in the evenings, if I were you, I would go back into the office on MWF evenings and make that dedicated work time. If your office is far away, go to a nearby coffee shop or library.

IMO, it is unhealthy to mesh mom-world and work-world too much. When I'm home, I want to be the mom, and when I'm working, I don't want to mothering at the same time. Keeping this separation has done wonders for my mental health.

You also need to prioritize sleep. I can cope with anything if I am well rested. Regarding the night feedings, you and your partner need to share this responsibility. If you haven't done so already, start nursing in bed while laying down on your side. You and your partner need to work out an equitable sleep schedule so that during his shift, he wakes up, brings the baby to your breast, burps the baby when it's done, and takes the baby back to the crib. This way, you can nurse while you're pretty much asleep.

When mine were little, I would get to sleep from about 7PM-1AM while my husband was reponsibile for feedings. Then he would get to sleep from 1AM-7AM while I was responsible for getting up. We both got six hours solid sleep, plus whatever else we could grab during our "on" shift.

And yes, it will get better.

[thenewyorker]

Hi niceday,
I am still wearing baby on my front. I haven't thought yet of flipping him to the front. They have how-to videoss on youtube. My son is a bit over 8  months.

I agree with zuzu_. When I am at work, I am at work. When I am at home, I am at home. But the problem is that I have so much to do at work that I can't catch up...and I can no longer stay late like I used to before baby.

Here I sit on a Friday with my to-do list trying to quell the rising panic....I should just stay off of the CHE!

I was nominated for a teaching award and I don't have the time to get the materials together. The recognition would be great, but I could use the cash they give as a prize as well!

[dr_alcott]

Some of my department members keep asking me to bring the baby to school. I could do that for things like faculty meetings as I'm there only for the meeting that day. It's a bit of a pain because I have to arrange a sitter for the duration of the meeting but that's doable.

Do you all do that? I don't mind anyone else's child around but I know that it changes the way some people view women -- the mommy-track, you know. On the other hand, I do have a few senior colleagues who keep haranguing me about when they get to see the baby again. (I brought him once to introduce him to everyone but haven't done it since).

I have brought my babies (now 4 and 7) to my office countless times. I too had lots of colleagues who wanted to see my babies, and who still do. Because I live close to where I teach, I would occasionally bring them on non-teaching days, when I had some stuff to do in the office. Now, a couple days a year when my older kid doesn't have school but I do, I bring him in, pay a former student to sit with him in my office while I teach, and then just let him hang in my office with me. He's always been the kind of kid who can sit still and entertain himself (with a book, etc.) And since he's been coming here with me for years, he's right at home. My younger kid is much more active, so I can't get much done with her around. Her daycare is next to my building (lucky me), so I occasionally bring her by at the end of the day.

I've also had the good luck of a kid-crazy colleague volunteering to take the baby/toddler/short person for a while so I can get a little work done.

In an absolute pinch, I've even brought them to a meeting or two--but only after checking with the chair and senior members. I am very, very fortunate to work in an environment where this is acceptable--people are really understanding and supportive around here. I realize this is rare.

I see zuzu_ and thenewyorker's point about keeping work and mom life separate, but for me, that's just not possible. I probably do at least 20 hours of work a week at home; sometimes more.  My two worlds overlap all the time.

[zuzu_]

I see zuzu_ and thenewyorker's point about keeping work and mom life separate, but for me, that's just not possible. I probably do at least 20 hours of work a week at home; sometimes more.  My two worlds overlap all the time.

And I see your point as well. I have had recent day care disasters that necessitated me bringing my two-year-old to class and setting her up in the back of a computer lab classroom, strapped in her stroller, watching teletubbies on YouTube. But I try to make these arrangements the exception, and my spouse and I share this burden equally. For every time I bring my kid to work, my spouse has taken a half or full sick day.

[dr_alcott]

I see zuzu_ and thenewyorker's point about keeping work and mom life separate, but for me, that's just not possible. I probably do at least 20 hours of work a week at home; sometimes more.  My two worlds overlap all the time.

And I see your point as well. I have had recent day care disasters that necessitated me bringing my two-year-old to class and setting her up in the back of a computer lab classroom, strapped in her stroller, watching teletubbies on YouTube. But I try to make these arrangements the exception, and my spouse and I share this burden equally. For every time I bring my kid to work, my spouse has taken a half or full sick day.

Oh, I'm jealous that you can bring your kid to class. That's forbidden here; plus, I have so many students who are parents that I shudder to think about the chain reaction it would cause if I brought my kid to class. But I've often thought about how nice it would be if I could just sneak the kid into class once in a while! Do your students love it?