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[outlier]

This thread is inspired by sikora's thoughts and questions in the "prejudice against persons with mental illness" thread. I think answering there would be a hijack, but there must be others who have had to resuscitate a career after some kind of hard-to-explain event. The process that brought about the end of my marriage was such an event for me. I was dealing with a very self-centered and demanding husband, in a long-distance marriage, and I basically dithered away my tenure-track faculty job going back and forth between moving back to where he was and getting divorced and staying put. Long story short: I ended up divorced and without the job or custody of my daughter, and so emotionally battered by the process that I really couldn't be resourceful about recovering from that. Eventually, though, I was ready to start re-building.

For me, I think there were a few elements that were crucial. First was reframing my experience in my own mind so that the guilt, shame, and inadequacy I'd been feeling were no longer paramount, and so that I could present a reasonable story of my history when I needed to do that. Now that I think about it, the reframed story has a lot more truth than the emotionally-charged one in which I'd been drowning. A good therapist was crucial to that.

Second was staying in touch with former colleagues who knew of and appreciated my strengths and accomplishments. Those people, who have become wonderful friends, have been steadfast and stellar references, and I've done my best to help them whenever and however I can, as well.

Third was continuing to publish and present in my field. Even without an academic affiliation, or with an affiliation that was tangential to my field, I made myself go to conferences. Even if I could only afford to go to local conferences, it kept me in the field and among practitioners.

Finally, there was consulting. Even if the job is unpaid, even if it's tiny, doing project work is continuing professional involvement. 

Sikora, if you're reading this I hope it's helpful, and I hope others will add their stories and ideas.

[dellaroux]

When I left my abusive former spouse I had a similar situation, and similar elements kept the work alive.

In fact, in some ways the work kept me alive, since I valued it and what I was trying to do with it.

That more than anything else made me see that I needed to leave the marriage to be able to stay alive to do the work, in the most basic sense.

And the work and others' expressed value of it made me keep working at it in spite of the setbacks--including, as noted above, continuing to write, present, publish, teach, etc. in as many central or marginal settings as presented themselves.

Making new connections who didn't know me as "that woman leaving her batterer" also helped re-forge a sense of self that didn't have to include the experience of abuse as an inherent character trait.

[sikora]

Hey outlier, thanks.

As for staying in touch with colleagues, well, unfortunately, many won't have anything to do with me anymore. I feel somewhat abandoned, but that is not their problem, and I shouldn't expect too much.  But what that means is that I don't have professional references.

I'm struggling to write a paper, but it is a mess, and I've come to realize that the daily interaction with colleagues is extremely important in this regard. 

I've joined NCIS, and a local independent scholar group, and rejoined the AAA. 

I fantasize about returning to academia, but I need to let that fantasy go.  I am struggling hard, very hard, with resentment and with a sense of failure.  Resentment does no good. The sense of failure is harder to shake

I'm open to suggestions as to ways to live an intellectual life.  I probably won't be able to do that via  work. I will be lucky next year to get a job driving a bus.

What I want is to be in a productive, creative job and to be secure.

[spork]

I don't know if my experience qualifies as rehabilitation.  I've posted parts of this story on other threads, but here it is anyway:

I landed what appeared to be the ideal job, after a separation and divorce.  For me it was a fresh start. 

The following summer I had major surgery. I knew recuperation would be long and complex, so I deliberately scheduled it for immediately after spring commencement.  I was functional by the start of the fall semester at the beginning of my second year in the job. At the end of that semester I was fired -- informed that my tenure-track contract would not be renewed.

I found another academic job relatively quickly and the "transition" could have been a lot worse -- I could have been stuck with an unsold house, unemployment, loss of health insurance.  Here is what helped me:

I maintain a file (on my computer) of application material so that I can pull relevant syllabi, tweak a cover letter, etc. and apply for jobs very quickly.  In this situation, I literally sent out applications the day after I got the news.

I try to publish something once per year to be marketable, a rate of publication that is quite sufficient for the type of jobs I look for, like, and have experience in.  I know this is much harder for people who are not employed in academia - there's issues of library access, funding, etc.

Regarding my emotional state, I had to write off all my expectations and everything I had invested in that position. That part of my life was done, whether I liked it or not.  It became obvious to me that the institution and the people I had worked for had not shown me any loyalty or support, so I just cut all ties except for one colleague who wrote me reference letters.  I assume this is much harder for people who work at one place for 5, 10 years, or 20 years, but I'm guessing that the principle still applies.

[mdwlark]

Sikora, I'm glad to read that you are thinking about a return to academic life or the life of the mind.  You have come a long way and you have so much to offer.  You recently had a professional job in a research center or lab didn't you?  Maybe the boss there could write you a letter of recommendation.  Sometimes you can use professional contacts who were not supervisors over your work, but who knew your work in a collateral way and can write a credible letter.  If you have one or two of those, that is a start.  If needed for another letter or letters, use a personal reference who has a master's degree or PhD.  Or even a bachelor's degree.  It isn't ideal, but it is who you have.  Your experience is more interesting than some newly minted PhD's.  You might hit it off with a SC.  Look for unconventional, nonTT jobs that are field-related too.

As far as my story, it can be summarized as "a whole series of bad things happened, and the road I was traveling on got washed out."  I'm still breathing, I'm making money to live on, I do a little teaching, which is rewarding.  I am glad to read that others made it all the way back.  I love success stories.  It is interesting that at least a couple of others have mentioned a divorce as capsizing them so hard that it disrupted their career.  The other bad things that happened to me are much more credible to people listening as career-capsizing traumas, and a divorce pales in comparison. But honestly the divorce--actually the bad marriage just before it--was the piece of the equation that misdirected my career efforts and destroyed my self-esteem so badly that it was difficult for me to get through interviews or function at an adequate level to push myself over the top as the #1 candidate.  I did make it to the top 4-5 candidates a few times (and I had unconventional letters of reference as I mentioned).  The other bad things interrupted my productivity but in the end made me a more competent and sympathetic human being.  I guess the message in this is trauma is measured by its impact on you, not on how other people view it, so recognize what you have overcome and be proud that you are recovering and surviving. 

Sikora, you have been knocked down literally and figuratively several times, yet here you are standing on two feet again.

I have found that if I give a one-sentence, nonwhiny explanation for my life, it works much better in selling me to people than the whole gory story.  But you almost need the whole story to understand all the holes.  So, the temptation to say too much is there--resist it. 

[outlier]

I've been watching this thread but haven't had time to add to it. I think I need to say something else about those former colleagues. They weren't just references; they were also people who helped me to reframe my situation and eventually to see myself differently, just by being steadfast in their appreciation of me. Even when I was full of self-doubt and self-blame, they continued to point out my positive traits and see me as worth hiring. Another part of my recovery, which I didn't get into but should have, is that when the world came crashing down, I was ABD. I had moved cross-country and gotten a full-time job to help my then husband to reach his educational goals, and as often happens, I made no progress whatsoever on the dissertation once I was working full-time, caring for a young child, and then doing both at a distance from my husband. So when it all fell apart, I went back to finish the PhD, and believe it or not, doctoral research was my refuge and healing place. My advisor and committee were fantastic, and I began to rebuild my confidence there.

Sikora, I think this relates to you in a few ways: first, you have a steadfast group of supporters and admirers here, and I imagine several would come out of anonymity to be part of your professional network in real life. I have not been very active here, but there are a few forumites I'd do that for.

Second, is there any chance you could use VA benefits to go back to school--I know you already have a Ph.D., but maybe graduate coursework in a related field? Your field involves qualitative research, doesn't it? What if you took institutional research-related courses? That would give you access to an academic library and a community of scholars as well as the chance to cultivate a network. And there are jobs in IR, and I think there's a need for people who see research as more than stats.

Finally, I think self-concept is enormously important in resuscitating a career, and it is very hard to do it if you somehow feel you have "earned" your situation. Sorry if I'm sounding preachy or pop-psychish, but I do believe it.