Rremain cordial to chair, but deliberately stand too close to hu every so often while whistling lightly. Crack your knuckles while gazing at hu in faculty meetings. Smile at hu, and hold it for slightly too long. Hu'll look away. Do everything academic perfectly, but use slightly closed, tight body language. Don't be as forthcoming in conversation as you may have been in the past. If this stuff doesn't feel natural, go to the gym and lift weights for half an hour before going into the department.
I agree. Passive manipulation is a yin/feminine/beta adaptation.
What oldassocprof is saying is go alpha on his ass. These all read as dominance. You need to stop thinking about how great some other man is with your kids. I didn't read you as male, because the way you presented yourself is
beta. It might be in your interest for your wife to
delay response to these frequent calls and emails, ever so slightly and gradually increasing autonomy. If she is at the beckoned call of the chair, she doesn't have to be. Weak boundaries are voluntary and the less you and your wife define them, the more likely you are to find yourself unable to manipulate things to your advantage.
Notice the similarity of some of OAP's cues to those in this list below, but for the closed body language. The greatest way to be alpha in the academic world is to be the smartest and not painfully socially inept.
The body language cues that the dominant person uses are these:
* Directs and controls the conversation.
* Freely asks questions and expects a response back but gives little or no self-disclosure.
* Stands with hands on hips, elbows out to sides. Takes up more personal space that way and wants to look bigger.
* Stands or sits taller than others on purpose.
* Freely interrupts others speaking. (Others don't interrupt.)
* Long pause when answering a door knock, or replying to someone. Makes others wait.
* Freely touches others. (Others don't touch back.)
* Will stare at others and demand attention. (Others don't do the same back.)
* Never breaks eye contact first. Others usually break eye contact first by looking down, signifying submission.
* Occupies a bigger personal space and crowds others on purpose.
* Takes the lead purposefully when walking and going through doors.
* While sitting, will put hands behind head, put feet on desk, remove eye glasses and put ear-piece in mouth, or turn chair away from others and stare out window.
* If not well socialized, will eat and talk at same time while others can't eat.
