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[gradapplicant]

I know most topics here are about jobs and the two-body problem, but I'm a grad school applicant looking for advice from professors.

My fiance and I have finished applying to grad schools.  I just got my first decision - I was admitted to a PhD program at a top state university.  My fiance has applied to a masters program at the same university. What we are wondering now is if it's a good idea to mention to my department my fiance's application and tell them her admission will be a factor in my decision.

A little more background: This program is one of my top choices if not the top choice. Basically I have to make sure I want a PhD. All other programs I applied to are masters. I didn't think I had much of a chance with no research experience, but this program for some reason takes people like me.  I really like the curriculum and my would-be adviser.  I have several reasons to believe my fiance has a good shot at admission at this school. She has a strong academic record and work experience, but it's just hard to tell how competitive the program is. Also, her rejection would not be a deal breaker.  She is less certain about pursuing grad school and would be happy moving there (a great area we both like) and getting a job.

My questions are: Should I say something to my department?  If so, what is the most tactful way to do it?  Is there a chance of this backfiring in any way?  (Fiance's department frowns upon a request, or my department becomes less eager to find me funding?)  Thanks!

[bosola]

The program for which your lady is applying would be annoyed, to say the least, if another department tried to influence its choice of applicants.  The department to which you are applying will almost certainly have a huge pool of waitlisted applicants and probably won't bat an eyelid at the idea that they might lose you if your fiancee cannot attend the same institution.  And you will risk looking like a bit of a jerk.
My greatest concern, however, is that you seem to be unsure of the sex of your betrothed (if she is female, she is a FIANCEE).

[ucprof]

YOu can mention it.  I don't think it will hurt anything.  But if you are in different departments there is not much your dept can do.  If you are in the same dept that might be another issue.  I've seen depts work out plans for couples where at least one is a graduate student.  All the time we have applicants tell us about their girlfriend/spouse/fiance/fiancee
etc.  and it is just part of the whole process. 

Since her rejection is not a deal breaker (you can even put it that way) I do not see that you lose anything by telling people.  Moreover, if her dept is trying to choose between her and someone else and they want to make an offer to someone who is most likely to come, knowing that she
would likely come for this reason could be useful information for them.  In general I see this as you providing information and letting the university do it's thing.  Which should be absolutely fine.  I've never heard of a student NOT getting into a program because they had more interest in the location than other students for whom there was no information, so I do  not see any potential downside here but some possible upsides.
More importantly, it is really SHE who should make the contact with the department to which she applied.  She can tell them her fiance(e) now has an offer from the same school making her very seriously interested in that school over other schools.  After all it is her admission you both are worried about and you personally are not responsible for her work/application.

For the record, we often have several PhD student applicants at the margin and we have to pick one for funding and/or admission.  If they are all ranked the same and one of them has a strong reason to come to our school over other schools, they are more likely to get the offer, because it would be the one thing that tips the decision in their favor. 

Even without spousal issues, I have had "borderline admission" applicants email me and pester me about how much they want to come to our program.  Their enthusiasm does make a difference in whether we go out of our way to bring them in.  One such student is now working in my group and doing a good job on research and I have no regrets about admitting that student.  In fact their initial enthusiasm suggested to us that they might be able to overcome some missing material in their background and in fact they did.

[janewales]

I've been on the other side of this one-- a doctoral applicant who was at the bottom of our admit list tried to make us admitting his/her SO a condition of acceptance. We said no-- the SO wasn't competitive, and the applicant was, as I've said, good but not our top choice. We have lots of applications and very few places, so we couldn't see giving 2 places to one candidate we'd be quite happy to have, and one we would not have chosen. Your situation is somewhat different, given that your SO is applying to another department, and you are perhaps a more highly-ranked admit than my example was-- but for what it's worth, we didn't go for it.

It didn't turn out well. The original applicant did come into the program, but then didn't do as well as we'd hoped. S/he did however land a fantastic funding package from another source, and stayed around until it ran out. Then s/he quit graduate work entirely. I don't know whether our unwillingness to admit the SO had anything to do with the flame-out.

[systeme_d_]

Gradapplicant,

Please pay attention to the fact that many of these posts address admission to the same department.

Because that isn't your case, there is nothing your department could do about your fiancee's admission.

I direct a grad program, and in this situation, there is nothing at all I could do. 

[the_honey_badger]

Gradapplicant,

Please pay attention to the fact that many of these posts address admission to the same department.

Because that isn't your case, there is nothing your department could do about your fiancee's admission.

I direct a grad program, and in this situation, there is nothing at all I could do. 

Same here. Another thing is that applications are way up as they always are during economic downturns. We have more great applicants than we can admit.  We are a lower R1 or R2 (depending on where you look) and even we would not admit to our own program to accomodate a graduate admission.  There are just too many very good people we'd be equally happy to get. In the case of another department?  They'd never, ever, ever go for it. Frankly, I wouldn't make the phone call because it would be pointless.

Since her admission would not be a "deal breaker" for you, I personally would not start with a department by making that request at all.

[1233312]

Also, big issue - read the board a bit to see how difficult it is to get two good academic jobs in the same city, and then think about whether you might want to encourage your fiancee to do an MBA or professional MA instead...

[terpsichore]

Congratulations on being admitted to grad school.

Mentioning your fiancee's application to another program is unlikely to have any effect, because there is nothing your program can do to influence admission of your fiancee to another program.

If your program thinks you are unlikely to accept their offer of admission, they might not bother offering you a very good financial package, they might not nominate you for extremely competitive fellowships, and so on. 

On balance, there is a slight possible downside, and not much upside, to mentioning it. If you do, discuss your situation in terms of information you are giving the department, and make sure it doesn't sound like a demand.

[thundering_m]

No.

[spork]

The answer is no, it would not be a good idea.

[mended_drum]

No.

Frankly, there are so many qualified applicants for most programs that you're not actually in a position to negotiate.  And even if you were, your department can do nothing to influence the admissions process in another department.

[spectacle]

What we are wondering now is if it's a good idea to mention to my department my fiance's application and tell them her admission will be a factor in my decision.

Nope.  It's not like the job market, and I honestly can't imagine any circumstances where this would work in your favor, and it might very well work against you.

[shrek]

Even IF your fiance were applying in the SAME program masters and doctoral decisions are independent (at least in my dept.). So, it wouldn't matter. We do doc admits early so that we can make funding decisions. We have recruitment fellowships that we can award for someone to make an early decision. If we think that they are likely to come we'll probably make the offer (otherwise in our case we'll lose the funding for that year if they turn it down).

[anon_expat]

I agree and disagree with the other posts here:

First, I agree that 'no' you should not expect your department to be able to influence the admittance procedure in another department.  So do not get your hopes up too much.

Second, I disagree about the general sentiment in the other responses that this is unlike the job market and you have no power to negotiate. I had a similar situation years ago and I told this to all of the departments that admitted me so they would be aware of my decision criteria.  Although they could not sway the decision of the other department, they did other useful things: 1) gave us updates on the decision time line for the other department; 2) once my significant other was admitted into the other department (it had poor funding for PhD students), my department offered a meta-departmental fellowship to support the first year of the significant other's studies in the other department.

The dual-career absolutely starts in grad school, and their is always room for negotiation when done tactfully and honestly.

[crassostrea]

Congratulations on being accepted into the PhD program.

I agree with previous posters that it is unlikely that your department will be able to influence the decision directly. However, from my experience, it may still be worthwhile to mention your SO's application. I had the opportunity to visit grad programs to interview for funding opportunities. When interviewers asked if I thought I would choose to attend University X, I was clear that my decision would depend in part upon my SO's ability to pursue his academic plans. Everyone I spoke with was sympathetic to the situation. More important, a few offered personal contacts in the department SO would apply to. One of these contacts actually agreed to meet with SO the next day, then offered to fast-track his application even though the deadline had already passed.

Of course, I know this wouldn't have happened if SO's department had been larger and/or more competitive -- or if SO wasn't a good fit for the department to begin with. It may be worth a shot. In no case did my mention of SO's application seem to hurt. If anything, interviewers seemed to appreciate that I was a mature person with a life beyond the classroom walls, and that I was being open and proactive about finding a place where I could be happy over the duration of the PhD.