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[alleyoxenfree]

I'm way beyond balloons and flowers. I expect that a serious candidate will send a LobsterGram.

That's incredibly insensitive to committees with either seafood allergies or ethical beliefs that govern our interactions with non-human live entities to avoid exploitation.

I'm putting you on the watch list of schools to avoid at all costs, Madhatter, for such blatant practices of discrimination.

Indeed.  Truly classy candidates send singing telegrams these days.

If we all learned to tap dance, we'd have a secondary skill to fall back on. 

[polly_mer]

I'm way beyond balloons and flowers. I expect that a serious candidate will send a LobsterGram.

That's incredibly insensitive to committees with either seafood allergies or ethical beliefs that govern our interactions with non-human live entities to avoid exploitation.

I'm putting you on the watch list of schools to avoid at all costs, Madhatter, for such blatant practices of discrimination.

Indeed.  Truly classy candidates send singing telegrams these days.

If we all learned to tap dance, we'd have a secondary skill to fall back on. 

Are you sure that's such a good idea?  What have the movies taught us about the career prospects of singing telegramists?

The balloon bouquet is looking better by the minute because those SC's can be harsh.

[alleyoxenfree]

I'm way beyond balloons and flowers. I expect that a serious candidate will send a LobsterGram.

That's incredibly insensitive to committees with either seafood allergies or ethical beliefs that govern our interactions with non-human live entities to avoid exploitation.

I'm putting you on the watch list of schools to avoid at all costs, Madhatter, for such blatant practices of discrimination.

Indeed.  Truly classy candidates send singing telegrams these days.

If we all learned to tap dance, we'd have a secondary skill to fall back on. 

Are you sure that's such a good idea?  What have the movies taught us about the career prospects of singing telegramists?

The balloon bouquet is looking better by the minute because those SC's can be harsh.

I had something like the resurgence of Hollywood musicals in mind, ala "Nine."  But given my late start, I would probably not be able to reach Nicole Kidman heights early enough to have a whole career at any one studio or in any one show.  And as an academic, I know how verboten late bloomers are.

Balloons it is.  But why do you insist upthread on mammals only? 

Surely we should find out whether each member of the SC would prefer vertebrate/invertebrate, or perhaps something from the flora family?

[polly_mer]

I'm way beyond balloons and flowers. I expect that a serious candidate will send a LobsterGram.

That's incredibly insensitive to committees with either seafood allergies or ethical beliefs that govern our interactions with non-human live entities to avoid exploitation.

I'm putting you on the watch list of schools to avoid at all costs, Madhatter, for such blatant practices of discrimination.

Indeed.  Truly classy candidates send singing telegrams these days.

If we all learned to tap dance, we'd have a secondary skill to fall back on. 

Are you sure that's such a good idea?  What have the movies taught us about the career prospects of singing telegramists?

The balloon bouquet is looking better by the minute because those SC's can be harsh.

I had something like the resurgence of Hollywood musicals in mind, ala "Nine."  But given my late start, I would probably not be able to reach Nicole Kidman heights early enough to have a whole career at any one studio or in any one show.  And as an academic, I know how verboten late bloomers are.

Balloons it is.  But why do you insist upthread on mammals only? 

Surely we should find out whether each member of the SC would prefer vertebrate/invertebrate, or perhaps something from the flora family?

Have you seen what a balloon animal rendition of a lobster looks like?  If you don't put the tag on it, then the committee might mistake it for a lewd suggestion.

[alleyoxenfree]

I'm way beyond balloons and flowers. I expect that a serious candidate will send a LobsterGram.

That's incredibly insensitive to committees with either seafood allergies or ethical beliefs that govern our interactions with non-human live entities to avoid exploitation.

I'm putting you on the watch list of schools to avoid at all costs, Madhatter, for such blatant practices of discrimination.

Indeed.  Truly classy candidates send singing telegrams these days.

If we all learned to tap dance, we'd have a secondary skill to fall back on. 

Are you sure that's such a good idea?  What have the movies taught us about the career prospects of singing telegramists?

The balloon bouquet is looking better by the minute because those SC's can be harsh.

I had something like the resurgence of Hollywood musicals in mind, ala "Nine."  But given my late start, I would probably not be able to reach Nicole Kidman heights early enough to have a whole career at any one studio or in any one show.  And as an academic, I know how verboten late bloomers are.

Balloons it is.  But why do you insist upthread on mammals only? 

Surely we should find out whether each member of the SC would prefer vertebrate/invertebrate, or perhaps something from the flora family?

Have you seen what a balloon animal rendition of a lobster looks like?  If you don't put the tag on it, then the committee might mistake it for a lewd suggestion.

Butterflies are usually colorful in Mylar.

[anthroid]

I'm way beyond balloons and flowers. I expect that a serious candidate will send a LobsterGram.

That's incredibly insensitive to committees with either seafood allergies or ethical beliefs that govern our interactions with non-human live entities to avoid exploitation.

I'm putting you on the watch list of schools to avoid at all costs, Madhatter, for such blatant practices of discrimination.

Indeed.  Truly classy candidates send singing telegrams these days.

If we all learned to tap dance, we'd have a secondary skill to fall back on. 

Are you sure that's such a good idea?  What have the movies taught us about the career prospects of singing telegramists?

The balloon bouquet is looking better by the minute because those SC's can be harsh.

I had something like the resurgence of Hollywood musicals in mind, ala "Nine."  But given my late start, I would probably not be able to reach Nicole Kidman heights early enough to have a whole career at any one studio or in any one show.  And as an academic, I know how verboten late bloomers are.

Balloons it is.  But why do you insist upthread on mammals only? 

Surely we should find out whether each member of the SC would prefer vertebrate/invertebrate, or perhaps something from the flora family?

Have you seen what a balloon animal rendition of a lobster looks like?  If you don't put the tag on it, then the committee might mistake it for a lewd suggestion.

And this would be bad because?

I mean, I was going to suggest a strip-o-gram but then I remember what most of us look like and decided that nauseating the search committee is almost always a bad career move.

[polly_mer]

I mean, I was going to suggest a strip-o-gram but then I remember what most of us look like and decided that nauseating the search committee is almost always a bad career move.

Ah, Anthroid, you can hire a strip-o-gram to be sent.  However, even at places that do not advertise for sexually diverse candidates, the diversity in sexual preferences is likely to be present so that one would likely need a team of carefully chosen strip-o-grammers to convey the proper message.

[airball]

Here's the truth: If you are trying to influence your candidacy it matters not at all.

No committee is going to say, "Well he can't talk about his research worth a damn, and would be a disaster in the classroom, but check out this stationary! Hire him!"

Nor will they say, "Great research, stellar teaching, but an emailed thank you note? She's out!"

If you are trying to be polite, sure, hand-write it.

airball