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[sweetpotato]

Thank you again for the advice everyone, I hadn`t expected this much. A lot of it has been really helpful and I hope to come back and refer to what has been said often over the next few weeks when I have to see the Professor regularly; I`m sure I`ll need regular reminders about being smart about all this.

merope, you`re right, he`s a really nice and sweet guy. An awesome professor and an awesome person.

womanofproperty, no, it`s not the same professor.

[spork]

[. . .]
Sometimes I just wish I could talk and talk and talk about him for hours without the listener saying anything and just get it out of my system.

[. . .]

I think about the professor so much that I haven`t been able to enjoy and derive satisfaction and comfort from relationships.

[. . .]

But at other times I think the hurt will be good - if I didn`t take this independent study, I`d have no classes with him; I`d leave this university without any closure for what I have felt too intensely for too long.

[. . .]

Bottom line: I`m not dropping the independent study. But I do plan to use this thread to post updates and hopefully get hard doses of reality, and if spork gets lucky, maybe even fantasies.

[. . .]

You're boring.  Either post some fantasies in explicit detail or do him and tell us how it went.

[spork]

[. . .]

Sadly, the mature, attentive boyfriend is about to turn into a guy who hates women and has commitment problems because he's been screwed over for being mature and attentive to someone who doesn't care.

Maturity, responsibility, civility . . . all worth nothing to many American women in their 20s.

[macaroon]

Getting laid is not that difficult.
Finding a person who will faithfully and consistently respond to your requests for a reference can be quite difficult.    Good colleagues are exceedingly rare and are to be treasured.

And guess what, sweetpotato?  I sincerely doubt that this is the last time you are going to be sexually attracted to a colleague.  Learn to deal.

Wait for his marriage to break up.  Don't keep in touch but keep your facebook page updated.  If he wants to get in touch, he will.  And neither of you will be a homewrecker and you will start your relationship without that suspicion and guilt.  Because otherwise, if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.  You will get the karmic blowback of being the wife who sends her husband off every morning to 19-year-old girls with unbuttoned blouses and short shorts.  You will dislike that.

Yes.  Never sleep with married people.  Wait for the marriage to break up.  Always.

[macaroon]

On one point I do agree, sort of.  My grandmother told me it was as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man, and I never took it to heart.  In that way of thinking, I wasted my prettiest years being married to someone who could not set me up for life.  

Funny - my grandmother told me something a bit different.  She said it is hard to know who'll be a good provider when they are 19, because they are all poor.  She said stick with the one who never stands me up on a date and never skips work or school to be with me.

[mdwlark]

Funny - my grandmother told me something a bit different.  She said it is hard to know who'll be a good provider when they are 19, because they are all poor.  She said stick with the one who never stands me up on a date and never skips work or school to be with me.

Smart grandma! 

[womanofproperty]

I smell a women's studies thesis, or perhaps a Heritage Institute research project, to see what professors would say on these topics.  Fishy.

Given the fact that the OP's posts are pretty flat & unimaginative, I think it's just a guy (or guys) messing around.

[southerntransplant]

I actually look considerably better at 50 than I did at 40 (or 35, actually), thanks to better nutrition, more exercise and vastly improved self-image. It is SO not about one's age!

I too experienced the health parabola. 20s oblivion, 30s survival, 40s falling apart, 50s rebirth.  

So rebirth occurs at 50? Only four more years to go.

I might pull out of this yet.

[t_r_b]

I smell a women's studies thesis, or perhaps a Heritage Institute research project, to see what professors would say on these topics.  Fishy.

Given the fact that the OP's posts are pretty flat & unimaginative, I think it's just a guy (or guys) messing around.

If so, he/they should be able to come up with some juicy fantasies very much to Spork's taste.

[bread_pirate_naan]

I smell a women's studies thesis, or perhaps a Heritage Institute research project, to see what professors would say on these topics.  Fishy.

Given the fact that the OP's posts are pretty flat & unimaginative, I think it's just a guy (or guys) messing around.

Female who wants to be the center of attention.  Hours of talking, updates, repeated advice needed, problem professor, crush on professor -- it's all about the attention.   

Good call with the debut post. I think the posts have all been about the same prof.  Unnerving enough to move on.

[msparticularity]

I smell a women's studies thesis, or perhaps a Heritage Institute research project, to see what professors would say on these topics.  Fishy.

Given the fact that the OP's posts are pretty flat & unimaginative, I think it's just a guy (or guys) messing around.

Female who wants to be the center of attention.  Hours of talking, updates, repeated advice needed, problem professor, crush on professor -- it's all about the attention.   

Good call with the debut post. I think the posts have all been about the same prof.  Unnerving enough to move on.

At the very least (given the prior thread), signs of a decided tendency to project/fixate upon faculty.

[bread_pirate_naan]

I smell a women's studies thesis, or perhaps a Heritage Institute research project, to see what professors would say on these topics.  Fishy.

Given the fact that the OP's posts are pretty flat & unimaginative, I think it's just a guy (or guys) messing around.

Female who wants to be the center of attention.  Hours of talking, updates, repeated advice needed, problem professor, crush on professor -- it's all about the attention.   

Good call with the debut post. I think the posts have all been about the same prof.  Unnerving enough to move on.

At the very least (given the prior thread), signs of a decided tendency to project/fixate upon faculty.

Key phrase for me:

"Is he really checking me out"

It's seems all the same story.  The reference thread is particularly arresting, because the OP is explicitly aware her behavior has been "strange and problematic."  Wreckfans may remember the "No Helen" thread, which no longer exists.  I think that's the same story too, different moniker.

[spectacle]

I smell a women's studies thesis, or perhaps a Heritage Institute research project, to see what professors would say on these topics.  Fishy.

Given the fact that the OP's posts are pretty flat & unimaginative, I think it's just a guy (or guys) messing around.

Female who wants to be the center of attention.  Hours of talking, updates, repeated advice needed, problem professor, crush on professor -- it's all about the attention.   

Good call with the debut post. I think the posts have all been about the same prof.  Unnerving enough to move on.

At the very least (given the prior thread), signs of a decided tendency to project/fixate upon faculty.

Key phrase for me:

"Is he really checking me out"

It's seems all the same story.  The reference thread is particularly arresting, because the OP is explicitly aware her behavior has been "strange and problematic."  Wreckfans may remember the "No Helen" thread, which no longer exists.  I think that's the same story too, different moniker.

She's been posting and deleting, and posting and deleting, and making sock puppets and posting and deleting some more - all about this same professor all over the internet for almost a year (if not longer). 

I feel so bad for the prof.

[alleyoxenfree]

I smell a women's studies thesis, or perhaps a Heritage Institute research project, to see what professors would say on these topics.  Fishy.

Given the fact that the OP's posts are pretty flat & unimaginative, I think it's just a guy (or guys) messing around.

Female who wants to be the center of attention.  Hours of talking, updates, repeated advice needed, problem professor, crush on professor -- it's all about the attention.   

Good call with the debut post. I think the posts have all been about the same prof.  Unnerving enough to move on.

At the very least (given the prior thread), signs of a decided tendency to project/fixate upon faculty.

Key phrase for me:

"Is he really checking me out"

It's seems all the same story.  The reference thread is particularly arresting, because the OP is explicitly aware her behavior has been "strange and problematic."  Wreckfans may remember the "No Helen" thread, which no longer exists.  I think that's the same story too, different moniker.

She's been posting and deleting, and posting and deleting, and making sock puppets and posting and deleting some more - all about this same professor all over the internet for almost a year (if not longer). 

I feel so bad for the prof.

And the wife. 

[bud04]

Amen Alley!

OP You need some psychological help. Please go to your campus medical services and get them to refer you to a psychologist.